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passionfruit 04-14-2011 06:01 AM

My sponser made me
 
So my sponser wants me to write a letter to AH. She won't even let me send it!! Not fair!

I have been putting this off because everything I say only makes me mad. This could turn into a 45 page diary very easily. So I've intentionally limited myself. I have 10 min to spare before heading off to work.

Here goes: Brief and to the point.

I hate you. That does it.

Not really. lol

I do hate you because you were so many things I wanted and at the same time so many I did not want, plan for, or even imagine was possible until it happened.

I can't say I love you because that would make me super sick. I can say I loved the potential you held and do hold within you and choose to not be.

I am struggling to forgive all the ugly things you did. You found my buttons and you intentionally pushed them. You did not love me. My friend says you loved me as much as you were capable.

I disagree. I don't believe you are capable of love at all. You don't truly understand the concept. You don't love yourself. You don't even know how to do that. You punish yourself everyday. You reach out to noone because you are the end all. God is personally in touch with you, so how can anyone else help you, much less yourself?

I am not sorry. Not for one thing. Not for defending myself, not for leaving, not for telling the world what a sorry SOB you are. Because, my friend, you are. No need to lie about it. No need to pretend I am sorry for everything I did. Wrong or not.

I had baggage coming in, but I promise you I sure as hell have much less coming out.

So to you I say: Adios, Good-bye, Don't let the door hit you in the a**, and last but not by any means least: Go f*ck yourself...like you been doing all along... sex addict.......

It's been fun...won't see you where I am going!


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