Hi
 

Just saying hi...

update? sort of. well, as of nov 3 A said we can't be friends bec. we act like bf and gf together (bec. that's what we agreed!!) he said he drank the night before and wasn't "well-behaved" I take that to mean he went on a date and was drunk. then he said he can't have a relationship etc. for several months and needs to do the AA steps etc with his, yes, going on third sponsor since July.

I agree he can't have a relationship now but I also feel like he is trying to work the no relationship thing to make me believe he isn't going to TRY to have one. I bought into that last time, remember? That's when I found out 6 weeks later he was dating on the internet.
I am hurt that my gut feeling is that he is lying to me. he insisted I acknowledge that e-mail and I did. I wrote back and he seems to be refusing to acknowledge mine. Silly, huh? He really broke my heart. Maybe it was gonna get broken at this time anyway but he did it. I have been feeling really depressed about all this relationship and all it's inconsistencies. I am going to lots of meetings and journalling and ready the language of letting go and AA and another day book but I still feel this way all day. Mostly I feel this way (I think) is because in "normal" situations if relationships don't work out people work through that part too, or they part as friends, or they give it their best shot, or they take a break and come back or something. So here, meeting A has gone from a pretty intense summer to him saying we can't be friends and ignoring me. That's what hurts! And the feeling that I think he is playing up the idea he shouldn't have a relationship to duck out of this (probably til his drinking affects whatever he is up to now). And other silly things. Like he told me he was interviewing for a lawyer job and of course now I wonder if he got it. He asked me about my job progress stuff in terms of a new job in Dallas or wherever and I shared that with him but he won't even respond if he got the job. I have accepted we can't have a relationship now and I really hope I start to heal from this one because I have felt so depressed about it for 2 months

Hi Boo...

I was wondering where you'd gone. :) I know this realization is hitting you like a ton of bricks, and that it's very painful. Just know that you deserve someone wonderful who will not play games with you, and that he's out there somewhere.

Hugs,
Smoke

Boo,

Plenty of relationships just end...and badly. You can't make him "work through" anything. You can't make him "part as friends"

You are causing yourself pain here and you are free to stop at anytime.

I have had guys in my past who, like you, simply would not take "no" for an answer. In fact my alcoholic son is one of them today. It makes me feel trapped and I come out swinging.

If you refuse to let this guy go then you better be ready to duck!

JT

Boo

The only person who can stop your pain is YOU. No one else holds the key to your happiness except you.

You deserve better. Let go and go find someone worthy of you.

Hugs
Ann

Boo you said a really healthy statement in your post , Quote: My gut says........Sounds like you really need to listen to that more...

A's seem to play this sick game called love me-- go away.....

Keep doing healthy things for yourself and you just may wake up tomorrow and find you feel better than you did today.