Gotta Detach
 

Ok I'm so not having a good day so far. My RAH is out of detox, came home Thurs. He seems determined to stay sober and do 90 meetings in 90 days. We went to a church Thurs night which had an AA & Al Anon meeting at the same time. My meeting went great but he enjoyed the speaker but he wasn't recognized as a newcomer and no one spoke to him after, even his attempts to talk to people didn't go well. He left feeling frustrated, but still determined. He's staying with his brothers and my SIL came home drunk & in rear form. Yelling through the house, talking to herself, cussing people out at 1AM, he got tense but since I spent the night with him, I kept talking about serenity and the disease, he calmed down and had a good night.

Last night, he went for another meeting, got off the bus at the wrong stop, got lost and when he found the building, no meeting. Calling me all the way through it, trying not to get too stressed, but when I spoke to him later, he had a headache and stomach ache. They gave him Trazadone to help him sleep at night, so he went to bed. He also found out yesterday that my BIL had guns in the house and my RAH is a convicted felon so he also had that on his mind as well. Since he's not working due to needed surgeries, its not like he has a lot of housing options and he definitely can't live with me. I'm so not making that mistake again so soon out of detox.

Just spoke to him, he sounds very depressed and says his head still hurts. He's going to try again today for another meeting.

I'm trying not to get stressed myself and let go and let God. We are living apart and I'm trying to be supportive but I worry I'm obsessing. I found myself last night, looking for today's meeting and mapping bus routes and he hadn't even asked me to. I felt myself getting mad this am when I called his cell and he wouldn't answer and when I called my SIL to tell him to call me, he didn't call back for an hour.

My daughter whose bipolar has been snapping and getting smart with me since we talked Wed about her behavior & I set some boundaries. I'm ignoring things she's doing externally but I really wanna "snatch her bald" - I'm not ignoring emotionally. I know I can't control her behavior only mine but it's getting so hard to deal with.

I'm hoping to make a meeting tonight so I can hopefully hear something to help me relax but in the meantime I have that eggshells type anxiety feeling, like if one more thing goes out of whack - that's it, I'm freaking out.
:a108: