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Old 04-05-2011, 06:36 PM
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Quickie Post

I had a revelation today that I shared with my AFG and I am very excited about it. Thought I would share.

My boundaries should not consist of "you" statements. They should consist of "I" statements. For example ...

Bad: You need a job or I will leave.
Good: In my relationships, I expect both parties to be equal contributers.

I have been allowing other people to set my boundaries for me. While I still have much to learn, I am excited by this revelation. So much easier to stand by "me" statements than "you" statements because I am all I can control!
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:40 PM
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That's awesome! Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:59 PM
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I agree that's awesome. I believe that true boundaries are only based on me and what I will accept in my life. The other is a "rule." Trying to impose rules on others in order to make my life more comfortable is frustrating and exhausting. Good for you!

L
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Old 04-05-2011, 07:09 PM
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No, thank you LTD! My revelation based primarily on your words yesterday ... :-)
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Old 04-05-2011, 09:16 PM
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I still struggling with boundaries... Particularly with sensitive issues (ie. Drinking!!).

Very good observation and thanks for sharing. I needed to read that tonight.
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:34 AM
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My sponsor told me that the moment he started hearing me use "I" statements instead of "you" statements is when he began to believe there was hope for my recovery.

Well done! There is hope for your recovery!

Cyranoak
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:53 PM
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....gosh i saw quickie post...and i thought....ooh forget what i thought!! LMAO!
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:28 PM
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I wish everyone would use the "I" statements. I admit, I don't always use the "I" statements, but I'm working on it.
I think if everyone were able to do that it could save a lot of arguing and hurt.

Thanks for sharing!
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