*ugh*
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: los angeles, ca.
Posts: 19
*ugh*
Hi everyone-
I ran into a mutual friend of my xabf and mine this past Saturday at the market. I broke the relationship off seven months ago because he cheated on me with a friend's wife and then I caught him emailing other women telling them how hot they were, asking for their phone number so he could "drunk dial them" which translates to sexting to me, asking them for their work schedules to visit them at work, etc.
I was with him 4 years. Well, this mutual friend starts talking about the ex and tells me he's with another woman. I felt my stomach drop. Not the reaction I wanted. I've been doing so good with my recovery these past 7 months. Here's my hangup- how can someone who's caused SO much destruction, hurt, anger and so much more just move on and be with someone else???!! Honestly, I'm still trying to recover from all the pain that he's caused me. I came home after the market and cried. I still have no idea why. He's a loser, who's heading in a downward spiral who's going to crash very soon... So why does it bother me?? UGH... Sorry for the diatribe!
I ran into a mutual friend of my xabf and mine this past Saturday at the market. I broke the relationship off seven months ago because he cheated on me with a friend's wife and then I caught him emailing other women telling them how hot they were, asking for their phone number so he could "drunk dial them" which translates to sexting to me, asking them for their work schedules to visit them at work, etc.
I was with him 4 years. Well, this mutual friend starts talking about the ex and tells me he's with another woman. I felt my stomach drop. Not the reaction I wanted. I've been doing so good with my recovery these past 7 months. Here's my hangup- how can someone who's caused SO much destruction, hurt, anger and so much more just move on and be with someone else???!! Honestly, I'm still trying to recover from all the pain that he's caused me. I came home after the market and cried. I still have no idea why. He's a loser, who's heading in a downward spiral who's going to crash very soon... So why does it bother me?? UGH... Sorry for the diatribe!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Because you are human and it hurts. It hurts like hell actually. And probably will for a lot longer than you expected. It's ok, though. Makes you in touch with your feelings, cause you know he never was, huh?
Feel it, let it out, and move on again with the great life you've been living over the past 7 months.
Big hugs to you for your pain. Time does heal...it just takes a lot fo time to heal from what you've been through.
And what a JERK. Just had to say that.
Feel it, let it out, and move on again with the great life you've been living over the past 7 months.
Big hugs to you for your pain. Time does heal...it just takes a lot fo time to heal from what you've been through.
And what a JERK. Just had to say that.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
((Hugs))
I would also cut down communication with said "friend" who had no tact, or tell him/her that you do not want to hear news about ex.
He has not changed but you have changed. Maybe he has already cheated on her? you don't know that.
It is easy to imagine a wonderful relation, etc but just remember the facts, remember the "prize" and remember how you felt... she is up to the same pain, or more...... no one changes due to someone else. No one.
I would also cut down communication with said "friend" who had no tact, or tell him/her that you do not want to hear news about ex.
He has not changed but you have changed. Maybe he has already cheated on her? you don't know that.
It is easy to imagine a wonderful relation, etc but just remember the facts, remember the "prize" and remember how you felt... she is up to the same pain, or more...... no one changes due to someone else. No one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
How in God's name...
...is this about you in any way? Respectfully, his behavior is 100 percent normal for alcoholics. There is no shortage of women just like you were when you began with him. He's worn you out, you failed as an enabler by dumping him, so he's replacing you just like he'd replace the brakes on his car.
When she wears out he'll replace her too.
Brutal? Yes. Truth? Yes.
It's about him, not you.
Move on and don't replace him with another ******* just like him.
Take care,
Cyranoak
When she wears out he'll replace her too.
Brutal? Yes. Truth? Yes.
It's about him, not you.
Move on and don't replace him with another ******* just like him.
Take care,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by 1SweetGirl 
Hi everyone-
I ran into a mutual friend of my xabf and mine this past Saturday at the market. I broke the relationship off seven months ago because he cheated on me with a friend's wife and then I caught him emailing other women telling them how hot they were, asking for their phone number so he could "drunk dial them" which translates to sexting to me, asking them for their work schedules to visit them at work, etc.
I was with him 4 years. Well, this mutual friend starts talking about the ex and tells me he's with another woman. I felt my stomach drop. Not the reaction I wanted. I've been doing so good with my recovery these past 7 months. Here's my hangup- how can someone who's caused SO much destruction, hurt, anger and so much more just move on and be with someone else???!! Honestly, I'm still trying to recover from all the pain that he's caused me. I came home after the market and cried. I still have no idea why. He's a loser, who's heading in a downward spiral who's going to crash very soon... So why does it bother me?? UGH... Sorry for the diatribe!
I ran into a mutual friend of my xabf and mine this past Saturday at the market. I broke the relationship off seven months ago because he cheated on me with a friend's wife and then I caught him emailing other women telling them how hot they were, asking for their phone number so he could "drunk dial them" which translates to sexting to me, asking them for their work schedules to visit them at work, etc.
I was with him 4 years. Well, this mutual friend starts talking about the ex and tells me he's with another woman. I felt my stomach drop. Not the reaction I wanted. I've been doing so good with my recovery these past 7 months. Here's my hangup- how can someone who's caused SO much destruction, hurt, anger and so much more just move on and be with someone else???!! Honestly, I'm still trying to recover from all the pain that he's caused me. I came home after the market and cried. I still have no idea why. He's a loser, who's heading in a downward spiral who's going to crash very soon... So why does it bother me?? UGH... Sorry for the diatribe!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 287
I said before in another thread, my XABF would date a monkey in a skirt as long as it enabled him to drink. Mine actually found a young 23 year old girl to replace me. Yes, that did hurt. But her time is coming to feel his wrath. And better her than me now.
Everytime you feel sad just think she will be hurting one day like you are right now. They really don't change as long as they keep finding people to enable them. They don't have room in their minds to care about anything but alcohol so its not a reflection on you at all. She is not better than you, just newer, that's basically it.
Everytime you feel sad just think she will be hurting one day like you are right now. They really don't change as long as they keep finding people to enable them. They don't have room in their minds to care about anything but alcohol so its not a reflection on you at all. She is not better than you, just newer, that's basically it.
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