OT had a date tonight
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
OT had a date tonight
My best friend's cousin, who moved to this city a year ago and just today I had the energy to call him and meet him after seeing each other a couple of times before with my friend.
I had a good time and laughed a lot.
He likes animals.
He has done sports all his life.
He is a geek.
We talked about fiber, vitamins, kung fu and our cats.
We agreed to meet next weekend. He likes to dance salsa.
I drank a glass of clericott and he drank a couple of beers. He apologized and said he was "a bad drinker" - he was all sleepy.
According to my friend he has not had a hangover in his life. And his family agrees. I met them all in a wedding.
Healthy people more in the conservative side.
He invited our dinner.
He has a good job, good car, studying a masters degree and he is good looking. Looks like a Spaniard. Respectful with himself, with me, with the waiter.
I have a good feeling. No I am not getting all excited about him or anything. But its nice to have someone healthy to hang around with. I like the way I feel, not clingy or needy.
I was wondering about the question "is there life after an alcoholic" and for me its more like "life STARTS after an alcoholic". Finally I am filling my life with music, arts, good conversations. I love to see this city through my own eyes. Its much better than seeing it through XABF's eyes or XBF's eyes. My world has substance and meaning and colors.
Contacting healthier members of the opposite sex that actually acknowledge my existence (let alone appreciate me and treat me well) is wonderful.
This was worth every tear and bad moment I have felt before with XABF and after XABF.
I find myself not thinking about him much anymore. I am so glad I don't have to be around that toxic atmosphere and no longer have to know about what he is up to. I am so so grateful for this.
And I am no longer comparing myself to ANYONE! Well ... I struggle often with comparisons and pessimism and melancholy/sadness but I appreciate its a very good thing to be struggling because it means there's another part of me that is awakening and challenging what had always been.
My heart is full of gratitude today
I had a good time and laughed a lot.
He likes animals.
He has done sports all his life.
He is a geek.
We talked about fiber, vitamins, kung fu and our cats.
We agreed to meet next weekend. He likes to dance salsa.
I drank a glass of clericott and he drank a couple of beers. He apologized and said he was "a bad drinker" - he was all sleepy.
According to my friend he has not had a hangover in his life. And his family agrees. I met them all in a wedding.
Healthy people more in the conservative side.
He invited our dinner.
He has a good job, good car, studying a masters degree and he is good looking. Looks like a Spaniard. Respectful with himself, with me, with the waiter.
I have a good feeling. No I am not getting all excited about him or anything. But its nice to have someone healthy to hang around with. I like the way I feel, not clingy or needy.
I was wondering about the question "is there life after an alcoholic" and for me its more like "life STARTS after an alcoholic". Finally I am filling my life with music, arts, good conversations. I love to see this city through my own eyes. Its much better than seeing it through XABF's eyes or XBF's eyes. My world has substance and meaning and colors.
Contacting healthier members of the opposite sex that actually acknowledge my existence (let alone appreciate me and treat me well) is wonderful.
This was worth every tear and bad moment I have felt before with XABF and after XABF.
I find myself not thinking about him much anymore. I am so glad I don't have to be around that toxic atmosphere and no longer have to know about what he is up to. I am so so grateful for this.
And I am no longer comparing myself to ANYONE! Well ... I struggle often with comparisons and pessimism and melancholy/sadness but I appreciate its a very good thing to be struggling because it means there's another part of me that is awakening and challenging what had always been.
My heart is full of gratitude today
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks lillamy
Oh, it has always been in our hands...
Now I don't want to go anywhere else but where I am. And I don't want to be anyone else but me. Its fun to be me! Its OK.
Hope I have more of these "enlightened moments at 2 AM"
Oh, it has always been in our hands...
Now I don't want to go anywhere else but where I am. And I don't want to be anyone else but me. Its fun to be me! Its OK.
Hope I have more of these "enlightened moments at 2 AM"
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 132
Takingcharge999,
That is so incredible! I am soooooooooo happy for you!
It's like you are describing the dream all Codie's have but like all dream's, we assume it could not possibly be real.
And your proof positive that it is real!
Here's to you living the Dream girl! I'll be right there with ya soon!
That is so incredible! I am soooooooooo happy for you!
It's like you are describing the dream all Codie's have but like all dream's, we assume it could not possibly be real.
And your proof positive that it is real!
Here's to you living the Dream girl! I'll be right there with ya soon!
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Hooray! Way to go, TC!
In some ways, I am grateful for the experience I had with XABF.
Not that I would wish the details on anyone, but the aftermath is amazing to me.
I always knew there were things missing in my life, they're the same things that drew me to XABF in the first place...
But before I didn't know how to fix them. Now there are so many resources available to use, there is so much help along the way...
I have a lot of things to undo, but by the same token, I feel more alive than I have ever been.
I am more "me" now than I have been my entire life, and less afraid to discover this wonderful person than I have ever been.
And that, alone, is worth everything.
moments too at 2 am ? 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
TC, that's awesome! I too have had a few moments lately where I have noticed other men noticing me and realizing - ya know - it feels nice to be noticed! And that's ok, and I actually am beginning to like being me again. Thanks for sharing your date - will there be another perhaps?
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks for your great posts !
Starcat, I get the "more alive" feeling.. well, I don't feel "more alive" I feel alive for the first time ! as if waking up from a bad dream where my life didn't matter .... its totally worth it, I feel the sun shines for me and the birds sing for me hahaha! when I didn't feel like that at all... the "new normal" rules
Its great to share this path.... also when I feel down I also know its temporary and have it in my hands to feel better, or share or ask for help or just plain get out of my little bubble and ask someone else how THEY are doing.... I am no longer in my own room feeling misunderstood and miserable !! I have not felt lonely in a longggggggggggggg time YAY !! even when I spend most of my days alone.
Tuffgirl it feels nice to be noticed and to meet new people and sense how much you have changed.... self confidence turns heads ! well I have a long way to go but I have a sign in my room with my qualities and have to read it often lol.. am able to recognize them...
I am enjoying the present and are motivated about some plans I am making for my future..... inner work pays off.
Yes there will be another date next weekend, we will go to a nightclub that is very near to my home and I have always wanted to go and see how it is like inside. He has not gone to any nightclub in a year. Imagine that, lol. We also might go to the zoo as he has not been there yet and its a beautiful place, the animals are taken care of very well.
Ahh..sanity is refreshing!!
((Hugs)))!
Starcat, I get the "more alive" feeling.. well, I don't feel "more alive" I feel alive for the first time ! as if waking up from a bad dream where my life didn't matter .... its totally worth it, I feel the sun shines for me and the birds sing for me hahaha! when I didn't feel like that at all... the "new normal" rules
Its great to share this path.... also when I feel down I also know its temporary and have it in my hands to feel better, or share or ask for help or just plain get out of my little bubble and ask someone else how THEY are doing.... I am no longer in my own room feeling misunderstood and miserable !! I have not felt lonely in a longggggggggggggg time YAY !! even when I spend most of my days alone.
Tuffgirl it feels nice to be noticed
and to meet new people and sense how much you have changed.... self confidence turns heads ! well I have a long way to go but I have a sign in my room with my qualities and have to read it often lol.. am able to recognize them...I am enjoying the present and are motivated about some plans I am making for my future..... inner work pays off.
Yes there will be another date next weekend, we will go to a nightclub that is very near to my home and I have always wanted to go and see how it is like inside. He has not gone to any nightclub in a year. Imagine that, lol. We also might go to the zoo as he has not been there yet and its a beautiful place, the animals are taken care of very well.
Ahh..sanity is refreshing!!
((Hugs)))!
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yes there is much life, and I would have never imagined it would be this way for me... I really see how HP has taken care of me even when it not felt that way then... ah Tuffgirl, I wish I could forward you to your life later on...... I know some days its difficult to go on..... but there are so many gifts!! funny how life works, when you start to make some space in your heart for something different.... I see how all those "spaces" I am freeing that had resentment, anger, past, heavy stuff are filled with hope... some lightness, ease...
This is priceless.
Also I feel very healthy, with XABF I had all kinds of funny aches. They all disappeared "magically". The box with medicines is getting dusty. Yes, this is how its supposed to be like!
Hope you have a great weekend!
This is priceless.
Also I feel very healthy, with XABF I had all kinds of funny aches. They all disappeared "magically". The box with medicines is getting dusty. Yes, this is how its supposed to be like!
Hope you have a great weekend!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Thanks, TC - it is amazing after being away from the chaos how things seem to magically get better. I was remarking to my Mom just this morning that my teenagers actually seem to be getting along better and are certainly getting along better with me now. The stress of living in chaos affected us all negatively, and a few months away from it - we are thriving again. Tomorrow is prom and I am looking forward to the excitement of watching her get ready.
It's just so nice to read and hear the 'success' stories and know that life is just going to get better as I begin reorganizing my universe.
You have a good weekend, too. And keep us posted!
It's just so nice to read and hear the 'success' stories and know that life is just going to get better as I begin reorganizing my universe.
You have a good weekend, too. And keep us posted!
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
He sent me a message today asking if our plan tomorrow was still on... unfortunately I had to cancel as I am not feeling well... but said I hope we can go next weekend.
It was great for him to remember our plans.
And now I realize how sick I have been, when normal things happen and I go "wow how nice!!" ... sheeeesh.
It was great for him to remember our plans.
And now I realize how sick I have been, when normal things happen and I go "wow how nice!!" ... sheeeesh.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Great progress TC. And yeah, funny how we forget that there are normal, functioning and healthy people and situations out there when we get stuck around too many unhealthy ones.
You deserve this!
You deserve this!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
