taking my fifth step today/question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
taking my fifth step today/question
Hello Friends and Comrades,
I called a nearby (large) Lutheran church last week. (my denomination, although I don't fully subscribe to the dogma - it is comfortable for me though). I asked the question and was immediately connected to a pastor, a female (good) who said she would love to hear my fifth step.
She then scheduled it for today and said that if an hour isn't enough, we can schedule a second meeting.
She said that it would be revealed what it is I should focus on ("character defects") She knew the language, she has experience, and she couldn't have sounded more willing.
I am a little anxious, but now nervous, and a little excited as well.
I know I'm not a bad person; in fact I'm a good person, and I know who I am.
Still, I am proud of myself to finally take this step, and continue to move forward.
The question part is, I just don't know how to move through it. I mean, do I open my 90-page workbook and start reading? Do I read the summary portions? Do I let her lead?
I don't wanna miss the important parts. I know there's no one right way, but if anyone has any response to this, please do so!
I called a nearby (large) Lutheran church last week. (my denomination, although I don't fully subscribe to the dogma - it is comfortable for me though). I asked the question and was immediately connected to a pastor, a female (good) who said she would love to hear my fifth step.
She then scheduled it for today and said that if an hour isn't enough, we can schedule a second meeting.
She said that it would be revealed what it is I should focus on ("character defects") She knew the language, she has experience, and she couldn't have sounded more willing.
I am a little anxious, but now nervous, and a little excited as well.
I know I'm not a bad person; in fact I'm a good person, and I know who I am.
Still, I am proud of myself to finally take this step, and continue to move forward.
The question part is, I just don't know how to move through it. I mean, do I open my 90-page workbook and start reading? Do I read the summary portions? Do I let her lead?
I don't wanna miss the important parts. I know there's no one right way, but if anyone has any response to this, please do so!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
coffeedrinker,
it seems that the pastor knows the way of the twelve steps, and she can tell you where to begin.
this is wonderful for you. step 5 is big. revealing our character defects to another person. sounds like you found a good one to talk to.
i hope it all goes well for you and i will be thinking of you today.
beth.
yep, you are a very good person.
it seems that the pastor knows the way of the twelve steps, and she can tell you where to begin.
this is wonderful for you. step 5 is big. revealing our character defects to another person. sounds like you found a good one to talk to.
i hope it all goes well for you and i will be thinking of you today.
beth.
yep, you are a very good person.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
I'm back.
I wanted to express how wonderful my experience was with taking this step, and share
a bit of the "format".
I "lucked" out and got a member of the clergy, a female, and sat in a comfortable and safe place.
I took off my shoes so I could tuck my feet underneath me on the love seat - a favored position. She offered that she has listened to a number of 5th's, primarily from recovering alcoholics/addicts, and identified herself as an adult child of an alcoholic, with a good amount of exposure to this throughout her family.
Some might be offended with a person listening to you and taking notes, but I appreciated it. It did not feel intrusive, and she did this so she could better notice patterns and things I may want to pay attention to. I told her it was my hope that it be interactive, and she interjected thoughts, grace, and suggestions, many times.
She ended up with suggesting where I might want to focus, and stated a snapshot judgment of me - as a competent, professional, loving, and intuitive person.
I know there are many different ways to do this....I feel incredibly blessed that mine went this way.
-christine
I wanted to express how wonderful my experience was with taking this step, and share
a bit of the "format".
I "lucked" out and got a member of the clergy, a female, and sat in a comfortable and safe place.
I took off my shoes so I could tuck my feet underneath me on the love seat - a favored position. She offered that she has listened to a number of 5th's, primarily from recovering alcoholics/addicts, and identified herself as an adult child of an alcoholic, with a good amount of exposure to this throughout her family.
Some might be offended with a person listening to you and taking notes, but I appreciated it. It did not feel intrusive, and she did this so she could better notice patterns and things I may want to pay attention to. I told her it was my hope that it be interactive, and she interjected thoughts, grace, and suggestions, many times.
She ended up with suggesting where I might want to focus, and stated a snapshot judgment of me - as a competent, professional, loving, and intuitive person.
I know there are many different ways to do this....I feel incredibly blessed that mine went this way.
-christine
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by OklaBH 
WOW! Just WOW! How do you feel now that you got step 5 off your chest?
this is how i feel:
what a gift.
i was told i am NOT responsible in any way for being molested as an 8-year-old girl. "but, if i were stronger, had learned better boundaries..."
"nope" was the reply. and it was repeated about five times.
what a surprise.
i thought i would receive absolution, but i didn't expect the feedback i received, and the direction which i should probably go from here.
how do i feel?
i feel more whole.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Coffeedrinker...
I'm so glad that you post your step-work. I saw this thread yesterday... and what I "got" from it...
I can't wait to step out of the chaos... stop using my tools to survive... and getting busy working the steps and into real recovery. I WANT that. For years in Al-anon, I saw the steps, knew I had to work them but was so overwhelmed with my life that I never really wanted to work the steps.
I want that. I'm looking forward to getting through the divorce and getting on with living.
Thank you.
I'm so glad that you post your step-work. I saw this thread yesterday... and what I "got" from it...
I can't wait to step out of the chaos... stop using my tools to survive... and getting busy working the steps and into real recovery. I WANT that. For years in Al-anon, I saw the steps, knew I had to work them but was so overwhelmed with my life that I never really wanted to work the steps.
I want that. I'm looking forward to getting through the divorce and getting on with living.
Thank you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
