Confused
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 28
Confused
I had a long talk with my AH about his drinking. I never say anything to him about it, but he told me that he could see that it hurt me to see him drink. When he drinks, it is a 30 pack every 2 days and he can go on and on like this for weeks at a time before he takes a break. Recently he has said (a few times) he is done drinking for a while, but seems like the while only lasts a few days.
So we had our talk. He said he would not quit drinking for himself as he enjoys it too much, but he says he would quit because it bothers me. I said that if he does not give it up for himself than it won't work, that he has to want to quit. He said since he does not want to quit, he would only be doing it for me.
So the next day he says he has an idea, that he would limit himself to only 6 beers at a times. He asked me if I would agree to that. I know that he can not stop at 6 beers, if he had 6, he would keep going. He is not violent or mean when he drinks, but sometimes gets obnoxious and loud. He will usually just drink until he falls asleep.
Anyways, I just needed to vent, he has not drank since last weekend. I do not see it lasting very long since he is already trying to compromise. I did tell him that I joined this site to try to help me understand why he does what he does.
So we had our talk. He said he would not quit drinking for himself as he enjoys it too much, but he says he would quit because it bothers me. I said that if he does not give it up for himself than it won't work, that he has to want to quit. He said since he does not want to quit, he would only be doing it for me.
So the next day he says he has an idea, that he would limit himself to only 6 beers at a times. He asked me if I would agree to that. I know that he can not stop at 6 beers, if he had 6, he would keep going. He is not violent or mean when he drinks, but sometimes gets obnoxious and loud. He will usually just drink until he falls asleep.
Anyways, I just needed to vent, he has not drank since last weekend. I do not see it lasting very long since he is already trying to compromise. I did tell him that I joined this site to try to help me understand why he does what he does.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 9
From what I've learned, it's very common for alcoholics to try to set limits to prove they can still control their drinking. The limits can be anything from number of drinks, type of drinks, days/times of week, etc. However, this is an artificial way of demonstrating control as alcoholics have no control over their drinking.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 45
Limits don't work. I have tried it all. He has to stop at that pace. I had the talks with my wife and she got tired of me being hungover. He has to want to be there for you and people that care about him. I finally was sick and tired of feeling like crap and being controlled by beer. I finally decided I had to grow up and take care of myself so I could be a better father and husband. Please get him whatever resources he needs and don't give up on him. Thank God my wife has always been there for me. Thanks for sharing.
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