SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Friends and Family of Alcoholics (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/)
-   -   Woe is me ...... ?!?!?! Is it me ? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/223406-woe-me-me.html)

StrongEnuf 03-29-2011 06:23 AM

Woe is me ...... ?!?!?! Is it me ?
 
Coming down from our most recent argument AH is now SICK... throwing up, fever, head cold ect. The Bug ran its course thru my home the last 2 weeks so I am not suprised.

BUT .... everytime we get into any kind of argument, AH get sick, hurt, something ! Is it a Woe is me game he is playing? Its really hard to dislike him and his actions when I feel bad for him. Is that the Codie ?

I went to the gym this am, and texted him to make sure he had the boys up for school... "between puking yes I got them up, But I am going to lay down how long are you going to be?" I cut my workout short so I could go home and make sure the boys made it on the bus. Then got myself to work.

He is suppose to start working tomorrow (first job in 4 years! due to an injury) He needs to get better so I want him to rest up. But I actually have to work and I am swamped at the end of the month.

Tuffgirl 03-29-2011 04:44 PM

[QUOTE=StrongEnuf;2915202 Is that the Codie ? [/QUOTE]

Probably. Does it seem excessive to you?

I spent many a morning sick, having to get kids up and off to school. That's called parenting.

wicked 03-29-2011 04:53 PM


Its really hard to dislike him and his actions when I feel bad for him. Is that the Codie ?
I actually disliked both of my exes when they got sick. I did not feel bad for them, I felt they were acting like big cry babies. Wanting ME to take care of them, when I was not getting the least bit of respect as a parent or a spouse.


He is suppose to start working tomorrow (first job in 4 years! due to an injury) He needs to get better so I want him to rest up. But I actually have to work and I am swamped at the end of the month.
Yep, I am sure you do have to work. He needs to work too.
There are drugstores in my town on every frickin corner, get to one and get to the aisle that says flus and colds. His answer lies there.
Not with you taking care of him, adults take care of themselves.

Obviously, I hold some resentments here.
I am sorry.

Please take care of yourself first, you are the one who is responsible.
Four years without work? Okay.

Beth

StrongEnuf 03-30-2011 06:08 AM

LMBO Wicked!

He is an adult and can take care of his own ailments. I certainly do ! ! ! Just needed that reminded.

Yesterday my brother in law (my sisters husband) replaced my windshield (that AH punched out) and while he was here he also fixed my wipers, my side view mirror, and started to fix the weather strip ...but he stopped and said "Tell your husband to get up off the couch and fix this damn thing, it wont take him long" I luaghed at his humor, but realize that he as well as the rest of my family are so sick of taking care of things that Ah should be doing. I mean my BIL owns a glass company so he was more than happy to replace my windshield, but he didnt need to take the time to fix my wipers, my mirror, and certainly not the weather strip around the door. His words just jumped out at me.
reminded me of last summer when I had to take an emergency trip across the country, I had stopped at my other sisters on the way... and her Husband just knowingly went out to my truck checked the oil, the lights, gave my truck a full inspection before I started my 3000 mile journey.... where was my AH ? ? Why didnt he do that for me ?

Buffalo66 03-30-2011 06:54 AM

My RAH seems to have a panic attack everytime he is left to take care of some adult oriented responsibility.

I think he genuinely suffers from panic disorder, but, sometimes I think it is a little convenient. Histrionic? It is maddening, since he doesnt have any problems helping friends, shopping for his own clothes, doing really anything that doesnt put pressure on him to step out of his comfort zone.
I dont know if its a manipulation, but the other stuff just sounds selfish.

Its so hard to come upon a couple with a good man who does things like check your car, etc...
It is a wake up call.

StrongEnuf 03-30-2011 07:00 AM

Buffalo,

He admitted yesterday that he wasnt sure if he was sick or if it was stress making him feel like crap. But he didn't have a problem going to help his buddy move a plow blade yesterday afternoon ? YEt he couldnt get the kids on the bus ?

FindingPeace1 03-30-2011 07:17 AM

Even better is when we do it for ourselves! :)

Buffalo66 03-30-2011 07:33 AM

This is what I mean...Why can he do that?

Mine is like that a lot. Its like spending time w kid is painful, because he SHOULD do it or something...

MEanwhile, I have felt at deaths door with a flu, or otherwise and was able to do what is necessary to keep the balloon up. If I felt that bad, and got the kid to school, made food, played with him, I wouldnt dream of leaving the house to help a friend until I felt better.

It is a confusing thing there.

StrongEnuf 03-30-2011 07:44 AM

Cunfusing ?!? Yes so very confusing.... manipulting my mind into a whirl wind of confusion seems to be his game


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:40 AM.