Silent Treatment
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Girl that's AWESOME! Thank you for letting me know how it impacted you because I question my lengthy narratives, like, really? Do you really have to submit massive text on this womans thread?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Del Rio, TX
Posts: 380
Remember, when backed into a corner, the Alcoholic will say and do ANYTHING to keep you from leaving. ANYTHING. Even though they wouldn't do a darn thing until you were so fed up and sick and tired of the nonsense that you finally broke....they think they can make it all better by finally being nice.
They will be nice as long as they think there is something in it for them. then, they will be right back to their old self again. Just ask. It's what they do.
it is in your best interest if he doesn't get a lawyer. He is using this "bending over backwards" technique to win you back.
Be selfish for a change and take advantage of it. Make things happen on your terms. You can always give him money or stuff back. but once that decree is official, it's done.
having your lawyer handle both sides will save you both money in the long run. but your attorney must work for you and put your interests first. Use the system
He's been using his own system to get what he wants for a long time. And it has been working well for him.
Good luck. Be strong. I'm jealous.
They will be nice as long as they think there is something in it for them. then, they will be right back to their old self again. Just ask. It's what they do.
it is in your best interest if he doesn't get a lawyer. He is using this "bending over backwards" technique to win you back.
Be selfish for a change and take advantage of it. Make things happen on your terms. You can always give him money or stuff back. but once that decree is official, it's done.
having your lawyer handle both sides will save you both money in the long run. but your attorney must work for you and put your interests first. Use the system
He's been using his own system to get what he wants for a long time. And it has been working well for him.
Good luck. Be strong. I'm jealous.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
It hurts so much. I always wanted to think my father was healthy and normal but I knew he wasn't. I always knew that even if he stopped drinking...he would still be a totally strange person and very dysfunctional.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
GB,
Don't worry about whether he gets a lawyer. Your lawyer will cover your butt for you by making sure he has it IN WRITING that he knows it is in his best interest to have a lawyer review the agreement. If he cries about it later, that's on him.
Heh, my second husband was the same way. When I moved out, he dramatically told me to "TAKE EVERYTHING." (Well, maybe that would have had a bit more impact if it wasn't all mine to begin with, but I digress.) Anyway, I left him basic household needs--made sure he had dishes to eat off of, a futon to sleep on, stainless to eat with, a few cups and glasses.
Several months after I moved out, I got an email accusing me of taking the BEST CUTTING BOARD. OMG, I could hardly sleep for the shame of it.
You do what you think is fair. When I left my first husband, the kids stayed with him (he was sober for sixteen years at that point), so I left him MOST of the "stuff". I feel like I was fair with everyone, even the people who took advantage. But don't let him "guilt" you into giving him more than you should.
Hugs,
Don't worry about whether he gets a lawyer. Your lawyer will cover your butt for you by making sure he has it IN WRITING that he knows it is in his best interest to have a lawyer review the agreement. If he cries about it later, that's on him.
Heh, my second husband was the same way. When I moved out, he dramatically told me to "TAKE EVERYTHING." (Well, maybe that would have had a bit more impact if it wasn't all mine to begin with, but I digress.) Anyway, I left him basic household needs--made sure he had dishes to eat off of, a futon to sleep on, stainless to eat with, a few cups and glasses.
Several months after I moved out, I got an email accusing me of taking the BEST CUTTING BOARD. OMG, I could hardly sleep for the shame of it.
You do what you think is fair. When I left my first husband, the kids stayed with him (he was sober for sixteen years at that point), so I left him MOST of the "stuff". I feel like I was fair with everyone, even the people who took advantage. But don't let him "guilt" you into giving him more than you should.
Hugs,
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