Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Alcoholics
Reload this Page >

Why would my friend lie about being friends with her ex-fiance?

Blogs


Notices

Why would my friend lie about being friends with her ex-fiance?

Old 03-27-2011, 10:15 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 146
Why would my friend lie about being friends with her ex-fiance?

I found out from other sources that she is still friends with him. I don't care, its just that I don't get why she has to lie to me about it. The guy is a drug addict and doesn't really have a stable job. Her parents wants him out of their daughter's life.

My friend had called off the wedding last summer, still has the wedding dress and wears her engagement ring.

Id confronted her about it once and she lied about it. The guy, after they had broken up, I was helping him financially until I realized his stories weren't adding up. Then I told him that I was done with him. Not sure if he's still a drug addict and wouldn't be surprised if he's still one. Her ex-fiance told me that he wasn't using anymore when I was hanging out with him

I happened to run into the guy when he was around my friend. I can tell she still has feelings for him. Since the 2 of them had split from the engagement, my friend n I haven't talked much. She doesn't answer the phone or texts very often. Her ex doesn't like me anymore bc I finally put my foot down that I wasn't giving him any more money. I have to wonder if he's playing guilt tactics with her. Because he sort of did that to me when I didn't want to help him out anymore. Funny how people disappear when you stop giving them money.

There are a couple kids involved though they didn't have any kids together. My friend has a kid who thinks he's the "real" dad. The kid has no contact with the bio dad


They're both alcoholics so maybe its an codependency thing
SarahBear is offline  
Old 03-27-2011, 10:26 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by SarahBear View Post
They're both alcoholics so maybe its an codependency thing
Exactly. And a lying alcoholic isn't exactly uncommon.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 03-27-2011, 10:39 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
So sorry!

Welcome!!!
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 03-27-2011, 11:13 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 151
Here's my $0.02.

You can never, ever know why anyone - alcoholic or non-alcoholic - does/thinks/says whatever it is they do/think/say.

Because you're not living *their* life. We are each *human* and we do things for logical reasons and emotional reasons.

So, why worry about "why would X do/think/say something"???

The *real* question is why - even if "your friend" is lying to you about being in contact with her ex-fiance - it bothers YOU?

Not trying to be harsh, but - I'm assuming "your friend" is above the age of consent. She can see whomever she wants for whatever reason she wants. And she doesn't have to explain it to you . . . or even tell you the truth if she doesn't want to.

If she doesn't want to come clean about it to you . . . well, how does THAT affect YOUR life?

Speaking for myself, I think it a component of "friendship" for my "friends" to have the room *they* think is necessary. So long as what they do/think/say is not harming me, then - my concept of friendship - is that I'm there to listen IF they want to share and WHEN they want to share it.
MCESaint is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MCESaint For This Useful Post:
Babyblue (03-27-2011), fourmaggie (03-27-2011), LexieCat (03-27-2011), StarCat (03-27-2011)
Old 03-27-2011, 11:25 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Agree with MCESaint.

It really isn't any of your business. She's probably afraid you will judge her and think badly of her.
LexieCat is offline  
Old 03-27-2011, 04:44 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 146
We are all above age of consent. It bothers me bc I thought we are close. Before the "breakup" between them, we talked and hung out a lot. Now its like we are strangers.
SarahBear is offline  
Old 03-27-2011, 04:49 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
I AM CANADIAN
 
fourmaggie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
Blog Entries: 45
i love the HONESTY in this room...gets me all the time...thanks peoples!!
fourmaggie is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:52 AM.