OT Why me????????????? WHY?
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
OT Why me????????????? WHY?
So a coworker comes and tells me XABF is now assigned to my account.
Now that I was going to be free of him!! ARGH!!!
Anyway I'll take it as a sign from HP that I need to dettach, dettach, dettach.
And remember that he is NOT now who he was when we met. He is someone different.
At least he will work now, he has been in a paid holiday for 3 years.
Whenever we need to interact it will be via email or chat or phone, not in person.
I am thinking perhaps I did something horrible to him in another life and this is bad karma??
Thanks for letting me RANT...
Now that I was going to be free of him!! ARGH!!!
Anyway I'll take it as a sign from HP that I need to dettach, dettach, dettach.
And remember that he is NOT now who he was when we met. He is someone different.
At least he will work now, he has been in a paid holiday for 3 years.
Whenever we need to interact it will be via email or chat or phone, not in person.
I am thinking perhaps I did something horrible to him in another life and this is bad karma??
Thanks for letting me RANT...
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Actually, if HP did not believe you could handle this it would not have happened.
You only think it will be a problem. If we think something will be a problem, it will be.
If we are over the problem, beyond the problem, as you are (even though you may not think so) then there will be no problem. You will be at your 'professional best' and handle all communications with him as a professional.
What you do when you leave there, scream, rant, rave, cry on here, or go give your therapist an ear full, lol is what you will do and is none of his business. But at work, you know how to be professional, you are a professional, just pull out your 'professional hat' and wear it. That in itself will keep him 'off kilter.'
You can do this, I know you can do this .......................................... you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
You only think it will be a problem. If we think something will be a problem, it will be.
If we are over the problem, beyond the problem, as you are (even though you may not think so) then there will be no problem. You will be at your 'professional best' and handle all communications with him as a professional.
What you do when you leave there, scream, rant, rave, cry on here, or go give your therapist an ear full, lol is what you will do and is none of his business. But at work, you know how to be professional, you are a professional, just pull out your 'professional hat' and wear it. That in itself will keep him 'off kilter.'
You can do this, I know you can do this .......................................... you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Laurie God Bless You. And Impurrfect. Thanks a lot!
Yes, and thinking about this, its not that I interact a LOT with that group, so its not that we will be so close or interact daily-- although there are very stressful conference calls- gladly I am now seasoned after 2 years and have a great team on my side.
The times we have needed to interact he contacts me by our internal chat, as impersonal as possible. Great.
He is just another coworker. I can do this.
I don't know what I would do without this site. HUGS!!
Yes, and thinking about this, its not that I interact a LOT with that group, so its not that we will be so close or interact daily-- although there are very stressful conference calls- gladly I am now seasoned after 2 years and have a great team on my side.
The times we have needed to interact he contacts me by our internal chat, as impersonal as possible. Great.
He is just another coworker. I can do this.
I don't know what I would do without this site. HUGS!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
He is just another coworker. YOU CAN DO THIS. Keep telling yourself that. Write it down on little slips of paper and tuck in places in your office that only you can see.
Stay strong! You can overcome this challenge!
~T
Stay strong! You can overcome this challenge!
~T
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
Originally Posted by laurie6781 
Actually, if HP did not believe you could handle this it would not have happened.
You can do this, I know you can do this .......................................... you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can do this, I know you can do this .......................................... you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
I don't know the whole story, or what you do...
but can you explain there is a lot of water under the bridge between you two and you don't feel you are in a situation to appropriately manage (or whatever) him?
but can you explain there is a lot of water under the bridge between you two and you don't feel you are in a situation to appropriately manage (or whatever) him?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8
Keep in mind that if he is a fellow coworker, and he interacts with you inappropriately or about things not work related, you can always inform HR of the previous history and complications (even anonymously). There are several policies in place that should help you and your interactions with him. 
Best of luck to you!
Best of luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Oh TC I'm sorry about this turn of events!!
This guy is like a bad rash that nothing will cure. He just keeps cropping back up.
I feel your frustration!
I read your post and you know I thought about how sick I am of having to detach. It's a recovery tool I treasure and it was the first I really used faithfully every day, but I have to say it's a lot of work and I'm growing weary of it really.
Anybody else?
You know I'm going through this nonsense and have been for a long while with my landlord. Well, there are times where I'm just so tired of detaching my emotions from his behavior that it seems everything starts backing up to the surface and I get angrier than I did when things were fresh. I am in the process of removing myself from the situation, but I wonder just how long can we really detach? An incident here and there seems reasonable, and I certainly detached daily from my EX until we separated, but what's the shelf life of it?? Can you really detach every day from someone and it not wear you down?
Please don't take my meanderings as some kind of disbelief that you can do this, because it is far from that, my friend. You can detach your EX clear off the planet, I know you can. You have a life of your own and you don't need his negative energy to fuel any of your inner strength. He's nothing. He's dirty bathwater. Useless to you like gum on the sidewalk.
My wandering thoughts are a product of the frustration I feel over the fact that you and I seem to keep being faced with having to take action to protect our own positive energy and I think we are owed a break already!
My thoughts are with you and I will draw strength from your confidence and zen.
Give 'em all you got, all systems go!
In friendship,
Alice
This guy is like a bad rash that nothing will cure. He just keeps cropping back up.
I feel your frustration!
I read your post and you know I thought about how sick I am of having to detach. It's a recovery tool I treasure and it was the first I really used faithfully every day, but I have to say it's a lot of work and I'm growing weary of it really.
Anybody else?
You know I'm going through this nonsense and have been for a long while with my landlord. Well, there are times where I'm just so tired of detaching my emotions from his behavior that it seems everything starts backing up to the surface and I get angrier than I did when things were fresh. I am in the process of removing myself from the situation, but I wonder just how long can we really detach? An incident here and there seems reasonable, and I certainly detached daily from my EX until we separated, but what's the shelf life of it?? Can you really detach every day from someone and it not wear you down?
Please don't take my meanderings as some kind of disbelief that you can do this, because it is far from that, my friend. You can detach your EX clear off the planet, I know you can. You have a life of your own and you don't need his negative energy to fuel any of your inner strength. He's nothing. He's dirty bathwater. Useless to you like gum on the sidewalk.
My wandering thoughts are a product of the frustration I feel over the fact that you and I seem to keep being faced with having to take action to protect our own positive energy and I think we are owed a break already!
My thoughts are with you and I will draw strength from your confidence and zen.
Give 'em all you got, all systems go!
In friendship,
Alice
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hahahah bad rash... ItsmeAlice count me in, I DO feel weary.
Yes we are owed a break!! although today I worked with his manager and he was so very nice and patient, that gave me confidence.
FindingPeace thanks I hope I don't have to resort to that.....
Yes we are owed a break!! although today I worked with his manager and he was so very nice and patient, that gave me confidence.
FindingPeace thanks I hope I don't have to resort to that.....
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
ItsMeAlice its also easy to be peaceful away on a holiday or something but imagine being peaceful even in the midst of stress-chaos-toxic people...... THAT is a huge achievement, I think we are doing well! *sigh*...
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Do you all have a passport to take some cheap flight down here?? I know a wonderful place full of Europeans that definitely help to improve your mood the spa is amazing and we can dance salsa next to the pool !!
So I talked to a coworker today and she mentioned there is an opening in her team.. I would seldom interact with XABF and it would be stressful but not so much as my current job. She said I would be perfect and would recommend me.. I don't want to get my hopes up but ahh it would be great to have a break and learn other stuff !! and know I got some options...
In any case I am feeling better about all this, thank you all !!!!!!
the spa is amazing and we can dance salsa next to the pool !! So I talked to a coworker today and she mentioned there is an opening in her team.. I would seldom interact with XABF and it would be stressful but not so much as my current job. She said I would be perfect and would recommend me.. I don't want to get my hopes up but ahh it would be great to have a break and learn other stuff !! and know I got some options...
In any case I am feeling better about all this, thank you all !!!!!!
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