This is me SCREAMING

Old 03-22-2011, 03:52 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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This is me SCREAMING

Really, he's making me nuts. He still wants to talk about us staying together and I keep telling him no, then he goes on about things acting as if I never said I was leaving.

I should be starting work next week, they're running my background check and it should be back today or tomorrow, I'll know for certain tomorrow. Afterwards, I'm out.

I guess the reality will hit him after I've moved out, I don't know. I feel like I'm hitting my head against the wall, not because I want to continually tell him I done but because I have too. I have to remind him when he tries to hug me or climb into bed. I don't say much when he makes random comments about fixing the house and how things will look, I feel it's pointless to say it.

Geeze, it's making me feel nuts. He tells me that we're throwing away 15 years and we just need to try. I finally replied and simply said that we've tried for 15 years to fix this and make it work, but yet we're still here.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

I need to get my sanity.
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:56 PM
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I like your icon. YOU were meant to live for so much more. Keep talking to your friends, don't instigate him. Just keep your head down til you can leave.
Good luck!
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:28 PM
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Until you leave you haven't left. That's how alcoholics see it. As they see it if you are there it must be because you want to be there. I can't say that I see it differently.

Take care and good luck,

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Old 03-23-2011, 06:51 AM
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When XABF was in rehab, I told him that I had to be honest with him, and that we'd have to start over with a lot of things in our relationship. I told him that I didn't trust him anymore, that there was no respect whatsoever in our relationship, and that I wasn't sure I even loved him.

He nodded, sadly, and said that it hurt, but he understood my need to take things slow, and he'd honor that.

I was feeling great, until he started to propose to me, in a concrete room in rehab, just five minutes later.

Alcoholics only hear what they want to hear, twist it into what they want it to mean, and brush off the rest under the premise of "she doesn't really mean that."
Actions are the only way to communicate with an alcoholic, and even then they spend all their energy trying to convince you that "You don't really mean that."
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Old 03-23-2011, 07:03 AM
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"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome."

Absolutely! And the quickest way to go insane is by continually trying to have a rational conversation with an irrational person!
Believe me I know. Do your best to avoid the conversation until your ready to leave, it will be less "crazy making" for you.
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Old 03-23-2011, 07:16 AM
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And when you leave, please do not give him your new address and any landline phone number you may get. You can also 'ignore' the calls you will get on your cell.

Because he is 'ignoring' the fact that you are leaving, once you do he may 'amp' up and start 'harassing' you constantly. So to limit that, no address, no land line phone number, no work phone number.

Sending good thoughts and prayers that everything goes smoothly.

Love and hugs,
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Old 03-23-2011, 07:56 AM
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"Expecting healthy behavior from unhealthy people is futile". Just a quote from Codie No More. I just picked up a copy of "Beyond Codependency" which is the sequel. Its all about what to do after you have detached and how to start a better, newer, healthier life and how to start taking care of YOU.
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Old 03-23-2011, 11:06 AM
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(((inahaze))) Keep working your plan! I hope that having your own place will bring you some wonderful peace.

Hugs, HG
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