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What else am i suppose to lose???

Old 03-22-2011, 01:01 PM
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What else am i suppose to lose???


As I wrote down an inventory list, of what I have lost, it actually shocked me to see it on paper....

In 15 years my RAH has robbed me of:
My Kids
My Husband
My Home
My Money
My Pride
My Self Esteem
My Joy
My Self Worth
My Dreams
My Healthy Body
My Mind
My Heart
My Friends

and I have allowed it.....

Now he wants to sell "MY" 2 dogs and Im sure if he could sell my mother she would be next to go..

Hmmmm...Thinking...

What else do I have to lose?

I think Im just about ready to find some "GUTS" & surrender to the diesase.
((PLEASE SIGN THE DIVORCE PAPERS PLEASE))
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:33 PM
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Sometimes when I look back at my recovery.....

I had to make the list of what I gave away. I saw the signs before I ever entered the relationship, I stayed in denial even when I knew what was going on and made excuses for his bad behavior and my own.

The day I decided that living my life, working my recovery and becoming a whole and happy person did not depend on his actions but mine,,,, well that is when it started turning around for me. I know looking at the list can be scary, it sure gave me a reality check. But never doubt this is light at the end of the tunnel if you just start one baby step at a time.
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Old 03-22-2011, 11:05 PM
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The hardest part, for me, when I realized all I'd lost, was admitting that I let it happen. I taught "him" (I have 3 XABF's) how to treat me.

I finally got to the point where I'd had enough....I wasn't going to lose one more thing because of what HE wanted. I had MY life to live, and dammit, I was going to live it.

It took me well over 20 years, and developing my own addiction, to get to this point, but I've made a promise to myself...I will never let another man, or substance, ever control me again. I do what I have to do (which includes being on SR a LOT, as well as having friends here, that I e-mail daily) to get to this point, but it does come, the more we learn that we deserve the life we want.

BTW, I'm an animal lover. If I had to choose between a man and my cats? The man could hit the road. It's not only that my cats are my babies, but they mean a lot to me...anyone who doesn't understand that, doesn't understand me, and I have no room for someone in my life, like that. btdt, and still have regrets

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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