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I miss my Ex lately

Old 03-21-2011, 08:28 PM
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I miss my Ex lately

I don't really miss my ex...because the guy I used to know is gone. But I miss the old him. Now he's just an angry grumpy drunk.

I got laid off a few weeks ago and it's hard to be alone. I don't want to contact him...he always just caused more problems when I had things like this going on. But I'm sad and I miss him.

And I keep thinking, "Why can't some people just be happy? Why couldn't he have just appreciated what he had and not be so d* hateful. Why is it so hard for some people to just be happy, work on their problems and live life...."
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Old 03-21-2011, 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted by goldengirl3 View Post
I got laid off a few weeks ago and it's hard to be alone.
Originally Posted by goldengirl3 View Post
Why is it so hard for some people to just be happy, work on their problems and live life...."
You do see the dichotomy here, don't you?

L
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:06 PM
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Agreed goldengirl, I get lonely too, and I also think about my ex, and I also think of how sweet he is when he's clean and how evil he is when he's high. I think we need a girl's sober night out or in, watch movies and eat popcorn. I hope things get better for you
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:12 PM
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goldengirl, hope you feel better soon. There are moments like these... I wish you all the best in the job hunting. Also may I recommend "The language of letting go" by Melody Beatty? great book...
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:30 PM
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Very often I think it is because they don't know or haven't experienced a different way of living. It becomes a dysfunctional comfort zone people stay in. It is trickier with alcoholism because it is a vicious cycle of craving, giving in and then shame.. more craving, giving in, shame. Lather rinse repeat.

Hang in there.. losing a job is hard and very stressful so take care of yourself.
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Old 03-21-2011, 11:25 PM
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I understand. There is always that period of missing them, if there wasn't, I think we'd be insane.
Just embrace it and let it ride it's course and take this person who came into your life as a lesson to learn and grow from to be more towards the really great one who you was meant for you.
Hang in there and stay strong. I wish you luck with new employment as well.
This too, shall pass.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:45 AM
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I miss the good stuff with me NA too...but not HIS crap....*off running to turn the music on high*
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:07 AM
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I feel days like this too where I miss him. Even though, I have alot of Post Tramatic Stress from him that I am trying to work through. I also have many "triggers" in my daily life that reminds me of him and all the bad times, so that doesn't help much. They hurt us so bad that when its over, we want to run to them to make that hurt stop. But, they are the ones that made us hurt in the first place so its like a Catch 22. At least that was what I did in the past when we would break up. I went back to stop my hurt but I just wound up being hurt 10x worse each time and now see a therapist to get over all the stress and trauma that I still have even though the relationship is completely over. Relationships are hard enough to make work. Throw in an addiction and they are about as close to impossible to have a good outcome is what I've learned the hard way.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:27 AM
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Miss and dream about him everyday, til i do see him and he is an a**hole. Dito what pennywistle said. At least you came here, instead of to him.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:45 AM
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Maybe it is not so much that you miss him, but just miss having an "other" around. When you are down, or sick, or tired or just need a friend.

Is it possible for you to get a dog or a cat? If you live alone and are gone a lot, a couple of cats might be a good choice. Nice, friendly ones that love to cuddle and purr can help a lot!
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:20 AM
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I have 3 cats. This recession sucks. I have enough savings to last for a little while and then I'm screwed. The lack of human interaction starts to take it's toll after a while. I get to meet up with friends here and there but it's not the same as working with people 8 hours a day. And you're friends can't hang out with you everyday or anything...they have lives.

I think I just wish I had someone that came home everyday because at least I would have that. Hopefully I'll get a job soon.

And to the a few posters up above...I don't have any income. Most NORMAL people are unhappy about that.
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:44 AM
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One step at a time Goldengirl! It is tough be alone, and it can be very lonely at times.

I have my own business and am alone ALOT - sometimes it takes all I've got to not cry when I'm sitting here. When I get in those nasty/sad places, I take it easy on myself. I let go of whatever it is I'm struggling with and walk away - go outside for a walk, sit and pet the dog, call a friend, have a cup of coffee... anything to keep myself from getting "stuck in the rut."

As for the job search/economy - it's not good out there, no doubt about it. Maybe this is time to expand your horizons - try something you might not have otherwise done? Your HP is working - you may not see it or feel it - but good things will come. Hang it there!
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Old 03-22-2011, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by goldengirl3 View Post
I have 3 cats. This recession sucks. I have enough savings to last for a little while and then I'm screwed. The lack of human interaction starts to take it's toll after a while. I get to meet up with friends here and there but it's not the same as working with people 8 hours a day. And you're friends can't hang out with you everyday or anything...they have lives.
Life is not a job. Right now, my life is a job, and I have come to the conclusion, life definitely is not a job.

Originally Posted by goldengirl3 View Post
I think I just wish I had someone that came home everyday because at least I would have that. Hopefully I'll get a job soon.
Think really hard about what you had. You don't really want that again, right?

I know I definitely don't. Made a pretty awful decision last December simply because I was lonely. Nothing lonelier than being in a relationship-even long distance-with an active addict/alcoholic.

Originally Posted by goldengirl3 View Post
And to the a few posters up above...I don't have any income. Most NORMAL people are unhappy about that.
And some people are wealthier than God and they are desperately unhappy. Old story.

Try a little gratitude.
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:30 PM
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(((goldengirl)))
Have you thought about doing some volunteer work in the field, or a related one, you'd like to get a job in? It gets you out, gets you in contact with others and helps you keep your skillset up to date when applying for 'your' job.

Just an idea...
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