Feeling Torn
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 441
Feeling Torn
Hello,
After the blow out, he did not come home and I did not hear from him. My daughter felt bad and called him. She said he wanted to give me my space and it felt like no one cared about him. She said, we do and that is why I am calling to see how you are doing.
Guess I am feeling a liitel torn.....
After the blow out, he did not come home and I did not hear from him. My daughter felt bad and called him. She said he wanted to give me my space and it felt like no one cared about him. She said, we do and that is why I am calling to see how you are doing.
Guess I am feeling a liitel torn.....
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
XAH used to do these type of passive aggressive manipulations all the time. He had to always be the victim and would go to extremes to make me feel sorry and guilty.
Why are you feeling torn?
Why are you feeling torn?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
If he wants to come get the girls and spend time with them, he can. He is trying to manipulate you. He doesn't have to feel alone and probably doesn't. He is just feeling sorry for himself, but saying those things to your daughter is pure manipulation.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
This is a not good...
He is experiencing the consequences of his choices. It's not your fault, you can't control it, and there is nothing to be torn about. You have the girls and he doesn't because he created the scenario that required that.
Also, it's pathetic and selfish how he's talking to his children. It's absolutely not fair to them. "Poor me I'm all alone?" Really? Please tell me that isn't actually working. Please. Please.
If you are not in counseling and/or Alanon about this and other living with an alcoholic related issues, please give both a long look.
Take care, take what you want, and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Also, it's pathetic and selfish how he's talking to his children. It's absolutely not fair to them. "Poor me I'm all alone?" Really? Please tell me that isn't actually working. Please. Please.
If you are not in counseling and/or Alanon about this and other living with an alcoholic related issues, please give both a long look.
Take care, take what you want, and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by JACKRUSSELLGIRL 
I feel torn that I have the girls and he seems so alone right now.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Posts: 441
Cyranoak - You are absolutely right and he had many chances to seek help and get healthy. It just sucks right now but I will get through it. I think what is so hard in most of these situations is that the people we are dealing with do have good qualities and when Sober. Unfortunately, they are not sober consistently and living with them is impossible.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Del Rio, TX
Posts: 380
be strong girl friend. (note, two words there). I agree. he is just falling back to what he knows best, and that is working on your emotion. It is ok to love them, and it is just as ok to leave them. The love we have for them sometimes clouds our judgment.
It is your path to walk, and you will do what is right. And he will behave the same regardless, as he has shown before.
don't lose sight of the prize: YOU!
It is your path to walk, and you will do what is right. And he will behave the same regardless, as he has shown before.
don't lose sight of the prize: YOU!
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