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Life after Alcoholism

Old 03-17-2011, 04:50 PM
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Life after Alcoholism

A bit of the story first for any of the many new names I see on the forum,
( I haven't been here much for a few weeks and it saddens me to see so many new names and know that so many people are struggling with this disease, but in other ways I'm glad the new names found their way here)

My brother died just over two years ago, from alcohol related diseases, he was 38 and left an 11 year old son (Joe) who's Mum had died 18 months previously from cancer (although she was also alcoholic)

Joe now lives with me and my two sons.

A few weeks ago we finally completed the sale of my brothers house, it was a long drawn out process for a few reasons, mainly my solicitor cousin trying to outdo his business partner in a power struggle and losing out big time (he was completely in the wrong, left a lot of clients high and dry and we no longer have any kind of contact!) But finally it's sold, and the house is living again, I see it every day and there are changes all the time. Scaffold had gone up today I presume for roof work that needs doing. I wasn't sure but I love to see the life in the house now, two little girls skipping down the path to go to school the other day made me smile, and I hear theres another on the way! The house needs life, but I do miss going there at night for no other reason than to sit on the stairs and chat away to my brother!
I don't miss the stress of looking after it though! I didn't realise how much time of mine it took until I didn't have to do it.

But back to life after alcoholism, I do miss my brother, but life is great.
I have learned so much from SR that I now know how to live! And I mean really live.
I can see my life coming back to me!
And I know from SR that it's not really 'coming back' it's me reclaiming it for myself!
I find time for me now, I never did up to a few weeks ago, I knew I 'should have' but I just didn't do it.
I so wish I had, but yanno, if wishes were horses the devil would ride (thanks Nan, I know what you meant now!)

I'm a single mum to three teenage boys, life's busy, but i now find time to wax my bits, get my nails done, clean the skirting boards, reconnect with my old friends (and yes! they're still there!) meet new friends, have time for my family and do what I want to do.

I'm not saying I'm happy my brother is gone, none of us are, his death devastated us all. But even Joe is getting on with life, having fun and living it for him! (sometimes a little too much 'for him', but he's a teenager!)

I think we've all learned from past events. I know I have, I just didn't realise just how much I learned and how strong I was until a few weeks ago.

Life goes on, and it's good.
I miss him every minute of every day, but I've realised I'm still alive, very much so.
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Old 03-18-2011, 04:53 AM
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Lucy,

I was just stopping by when I saw the last paragraph. Those words were read at my father's funeral many years ago and last year when I was agonizing my way through my separation from AH those words came back to me in a dream. I bought the movie and watched. It was the last movie my father and I watched together and as you may know - it is about a man who died unexpectedly and watched over his wife and daughter to make sure their lives were ok.

Many times I feel that my father does the same thing and these were timely words and reminder that life does go on. Now that my struggles are coming to a close, I have yet to wonder what life will be like. I am still at the relief stage right now - but I think the words were a sign of sorts - a reminder that life continues after a storm.

Thank you and it is nice to hear how ppl are doing. Sorry for your loss and your nephew's loss but remind him that his father and mother are watching over him.
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Old 03-18-2011, 03:58 PM
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(((lucy)))

Been missin ya!

('wax yer bits' - )

just look how far we've come, yeah?

We *do* keep on living.

I'm so proud of you!
I hope you'll find time to stick around more
I miss your input!
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Old 03-19-2011, 03:35 PM
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I'm sure I'll be around Barb, with loads and loads of questions because, wait for it............................................... after all this time I've finally ordered a copy of Codependant No More! How good am I getting?

I'll read it while I soak for hours in the bath, because I have time now!

I'm not sure I've got things the right way round!

I'm doing fine, I'm happy and the kids are all happy, but I see room for improvement in me.

I think I was a little too addicted to this site, or maybe not the site as such, I just had to look everyday, so many times, to see what was going on with people and I found myself thinking too much about people I don't even know, and wanting to tell them what to do.

I do care about the people here, but I was letting it get too deep in my head.

I think the penny has finally dropped properly, I understand now what people told me when I first came here, about working on myself. I guess I'm ready now.
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Old 03-19-2011, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Kassie2 View Post
Lucy,

I was just stopping by when I saw the last paragraph. Those words were read at my father's funeral many years ago and last year when I was agonizing my way through my separation from AH those words came back to me in a dream. I bought the movie and watched. It was the last movie my father and I watched together and as you may know - it is about a man who died unexpectedly and watched over his wife and daughter to make sure their lives were ok.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what movie you mean!
I just wrote what I was thinking.
Maybe I could build a new career in writing movies

What movie is it Kassie? I may see if I can find a copy.
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Old 03-19-2011, 09:18 PM
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I love happy threads! So many sad ones...thanks for sharing your good feelings.

Yes, there is life after alcoholism and I can't complain these days either. Feels good to smile, laugh, and look forward to the future instead of being afraid of it.

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Old 03-20-2011, 07:23 AM
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Not Kassie but
your tag line is from the song You'll Never Walk Alone which is from the Rodger's and Hammerstein musical "Carousel". Great movie and wonderful songs.
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Old 03-21-2011, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by jamaicamecrazy View Post
Not Kassie but
your tag line is from the song You'll Never Walk Alone which is from the Rodger's and Hammerstein musical "Carousel". Great movie and wonderful songs.

Ah, thank you!
I have that because my brother was a Liverpool football supporter, that's their song.
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