coffeedrinker

this is really a huge topic, and "zen" probably isn't the right term, but was trying to give a flavor in the title.

i'd love to start a discussion about the principles of:

*mindfulness

*letting go

*meditation

*in the moment

i feel like my spiritual growth is calling me to try and adopt this "be here now" thing. which i think means to not fret about tomorrow (ok, i do have to pay my utility bills, but...) or get anxious about things that are either outside your control, or that will be revealed if you are patient.

i struggle with what is trying to control another person (translation: rewire him), and what is just saying/thinking "uh, i don't like that, if you do that it's gonna bug me, could you consider not doing that"

i think it's all tied together, but not sure how to practice some of this stuff.

anyone?

is this too broad for a thread?

Panther

I do a lot of introspection. The best instrospection can be done through meditation, journal writing and dream analysis.

I find that when I meditate I usually get my answers to any questions I might have. I don't know how other people meditate - but when I meditate its almost in the form of a dream. Lucid dreaming is what some people call it.

Dream analysis is also another good tactic to evaluate what is going on inside. So often we ignore things until they get to the point that it becomes overwhelming.

A very good resource on self-discovery, or "zen" attainment is Carl G. Jung. He's a famous psychologist/philosopher and he's written many books on the subject. I'm reading a book of his right now "Psychology and Alchemy".

barb dwyer

I've a friend who's adopted the 'mindful' stuff
I don't really know what it's outlined to be or anything
but it's really made a difference with his recovery
and even his day to day 'other stuff'.

As far as 'Be Here Now'
(I remember reading that book in the seventies or early 80's)

for me
it's a matter of 'carving' the world I'm perceiving
down into chunks I can deal with.

And it's a repetetive, sometimes monotonous thing
to constantly be reminding one's self
that thoughts of bills you can't pay
or of 'what ifs' that aren't beating down the door

have no place right here doing the dishes.

I took me a long time of practice
to start seeing results.

My time spent drawing
usually in my journal
is my time for 'going blank'
and letting the other levels of consciousness
unravel themselves.

I usually get answers and ideas
while drawing.
I always calm down
while drawing.

Mostly for me that is
it's been a matter of catching myself
going off into the unknown
or gnawing at what can't be changed
and bringing my attention back .... here.

coffeedrinker

panther,

any particular jung you would recommend for a first read?

Panther

It depends what you're interested in. I started with the book "Synchronicity", because it gave a theory on coincidences and I was thinking about strange coincidences in my life at the time. According to Jung, coincidences have meaning.

But if you are thinking about being more centered (not focusing on others so much) you may want to start with something such as "The Undiscovered Self". Or maybe just a general review of his writings like "Jung: A Very Short Introduction" by Anthony Stevens.

I'm on my second book by Jung. Its funny, but his writings have helped me in ways I didn't expect. Sometimes when I'm feeling discouraged I'll read his books and then I find myself feeling focused and motivated again.

What books have helped you?

LaTeeDa

I got a lot out of "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's not so much zen, but being present in the moment. Another one of my favorites that I go back to again and again is "The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success" by Deepak Chopra.

I have a tough time with "formal" meditation, as in "now, I'm going to meditate." I find I'm much better at letting go when I don't try. Like when I watch a sunset, or a waterfall, or the waves in the ocean. It just sort of happens, rather than an intentional act.

L

bluebelle

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I have a Zen calendar, and try to practice meditation some days. I see it as a reminder to not think, not worry, and remember that things will all work out in the end. It's kind of just another way for me to try to let go and let God. I like to read the Zen stuff because it reminds me that I worry a lot about things that are not important, and that my worrying does nothing for me. I would give you a few names of books, but I'm in the middle of moving--so the books are in boxes!! I read my Zen calendar everyday, and it seems to do something for me.

Babyblue

I'm all about mindfulness and really try to practice it. Meditation is tougher for me. I'm really into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) on myself. Trying to change my old patterns of thinking and turn off those old tapes in my head which get triggered when something happens.

I've always read the Tao because I find its simplicity beautiful and helpful:

"Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering the self requires strength;
He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of will power.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present"

ohhhhmm

Creekryder

I would recommend any book by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk I could only wish to emulate.

wicked

He is my favorite.

when i first got sober, i read wayne dyer.
then, marianne williamson. the unity church.

like babyblue, i try to practice cognitive behavioral therapy.
change your thoughts, change your life.

:ghug3

SoloMio

Took the words right out of my mouth!! Thich Nhat Hanh is the man. I've been a follower of his for many years--saw him speak in person a couple of times. Miracle of Mindfulness is a classic, and Peace is Every Step is great, but Creekryder is right--any of his books are great.

The idea of being fully in the present is very important to me, maybe even going way back to when I was in the play Our Town in high school--Emily Webb's soliloquy at the end has been a constant reminder to me how tragic it is to reach the end of one's life without ever having lived with an awareness of each moment--"realizing life as we live it--every, every minute"

Not sure about your religious bent, but I personally love some of the Christian writers who also develop Zen themes in their writings: Most notably Anthony de Mello--his book is "Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality."

I agree with the Eckhart Tolle endorsement. Marianne Williamson is also good, and Byron Katie.

Here's today's morning thought--one of Thich Nhat Hanh's ways to start the day:

Have a great day, everyone.

LexieCat

Pema Chodron has a lot of good books, too. She talks a lot about "shenpa", which she defines as getting "hooked in" to a person, a situation.

When I was first getting sober, books by Kevin Griffin helped me a LOT. "One Breath At A Time" and "A Burning Desire" are both about 12-step recovery from a Buddhist perspective.

dancingnow

I too recommend Thich Nhat Hanh - I bought the CD "The Art of Mindful Living" and it is the best $25 I've spent in a long time.

I listen to it in my car ride to work almost every day and it has helped me so much to stay in the moment with just simple breathing.

For me this is so helpful as my mind can race all over the place and that gets me nowhere except in a cloudy fog that I can't climb out of.

True mindful living doesn't solve all my problems but it gives me a much clearer head to have the thoughts I need to have at the moment to deal with what is reality.

jenny69

at times when i feel most unable to get out from under my thoughts and feelings, many very simply worded buddhist concepts have offered me, incredibly, a way out from self-entrapment.

zencast has some great podcasts that you can get on via itunes store for free, and some by thich nhat hanh, which are lovely)

one that continues to help me over and over again is simply the idea of wishing people well. thich nhat hanh writes about a practice they did as monks in training, focusing on extending the wish for well-being out while performing small acts: "Washing my hands, I hope that every person will have pure hands to receive reality."

when i am burdened by complication and confusion, this thought takes me out of trying to change or control or anticipate other people and their reactions by sending out a sincere but detached desire for well-being to others that has nothing to do with me or what i do.

coffeedrinker

oh my gosh, i think i started a book by him! my bf had it, i picked it up and then sorta forgot to keep picking it up! it is called "being peace"

i remember the statements about smiling and the sun:
no matter what is going on, the sun is present, you can be happy about that.
(very poor paraphrase!)

thanks, all of you - please keep writing your thoughts/experiences for me: i am going sponge over the next several days/weeks!!

johnnymau

Great topic, Coffee Drinker!

- First the books:

I am a huge fan of mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn. His book "Wherever You Go, There You Are" is a good introduction to his work, as is the 2 CD audio set "Mindfulness for Beginners". One interesting aspect of his approach is that he avoids any attempt to connect mindfulness/meditation to a spiritual path (although it is obviously fine if one wishes to do so). His opinion seems to be that mindfulness is so universal, commonsensical and important that it does not need to be unnecessarily burdened with the cultural baggage of being labeled as "spiritual."

[One caveat on the audiobook version of "Wherever You Go, There You Are": it uses some ponderous, new-agey background and transition music (think "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey") that I find off-putting in the extreme. Of course, it does offer me an opportunity to let go of my judgment about ponderous, new-agey music!]

I am also with LexieCat on Pema Chödrön and Kevin Griffin: they have both had a big influence on me.

Other recommendations:

The Zen of Recovery by Mel Ash

What is Zen? by Alan Watts

Being Nobody, Going Nowhere by Ayya Khema

- Then the practice:

I find it helpful to make the distinction between formal practice and informal practice. Formal practice is sitting/standing/lying/walking meditation, time specifically set aside to meditate. I really struggle with making time to do this, even though I am absolutely convinced of its value. My metaphor for meditation is decluttering. My mind is full of stuff strewn everywhere (especially after too much time online - SR excluded, of course), some of it valuable, which needs to be dusted off and put in its proper place, and some of it junk, which needs to be tossed out. Formal meditation helps me to do this. I can really find out what my current obsessions are by trying to focus only on my breathing. Once I know, then I can let them go (knowing that they will come back).

Informal practice is everything else in my life, when I remember to be aware, when I am not cruising along on automatic pilot. Many teachers (our homie Thich Nhat Hanh included) recommend using a sink full of dirty dishes as a good “laboratory” for practice. When you do the dishes, can you JUST do the dishes, aware of the physical sensations, cleaning each piece thoroughly and with integrity, and letting go of the endless stream of thoughts about wishing you were finished, what you would rather be doing, resentment about why you have to do the dishes, or anything else that fills your head?

Another really useful concept I came to understand from Jon Kabat-Zinn is how large our awareness is, how much it can hold. When I look up into the sky, I am aware of how immeasurable it is, so my awareness can be said to contain the vastness of the universe. Consequently, it is much larger than my ego and my thinking and my circumstances. That is a wonderful reminder to me.

Similarly, my awareness contains (or holds, or, even better, cradles) my emotional state. Kabat-Zinn invites us to ask ourselves: “Is my awareness of my sadness (anger, annoyance, etc. ) itself sad (angry, annoyed, etc.)? “ The answer is usually no. The idea is not to suppress or negate the emotion, but to get some perspective on it. “Yes, I feel terribly unhappy, but it is just a feeling, it will pass, I do not need to be held hostage to it, what can I learn from it?” etc.

Finally (for now, obvs I could go on and on), I love the metaphor of the mind as pond: when it is stirred up by the strong waves of reaction, negativity, and obsession, it gets cloudy. When it is calm, the mud and sediment settles to the bottom, and it gets clear again.