transformyself

Hello Family!

So I have these two chihuahua's right? Mia is six years old and sweet as pie. Bubba, the chihuahua puppy (well he's 14 months old but he's still a freaking puppy) is the dominant one. He bites her cheek. He gets in between her and anyone who gives her affection. He eats her food. Totally dominant.

Lately, when the dogs go out to go potty, Bubba absolutely terrorizes her. She can't even pee. So, today, when Mia asked to go outside, I scooped up Mr. Bites A Lot and didn't let him go out when she did. I figured I"d give the poor girl a break.

You should have seen Bubba. He stood looking out the door, whimpering, and this guy never does that. He was very distressed by Mia being outside, unmolested, going potty and just sitting in the yard looking around.

I laughed at him at first, but as he became more and more agitated I recognized his dilemma. It's one I've experienced often.

I've often been the control freak locked inside while others are playing.

Sucks too. I wish I could have talked to him about letting go, about acceptance.

Today I wont' worry about what the folks I think I can control are doing. I have my own life to clean up and enjoy.

I'm posting a picture of the little tyrant. will upload one of little fat Mia too.

Love, Transformie

transformyself

Here's beautiful Mia, smiling. She knows.

Tuffgirl

I LOVE this - thanks transformie, for the smile and the reminder in an easy to recognize analogy.



And you made my Sunday...and now I am going to go walk my dogs!

Thumper

That is great. I can relate to both sides of that equation!

transformyself

You guys will love this. Now I feel GUILTY for saying that about Bubba. Ah, I need therapy again...

LexieCat

LOL, well, go make an amends to Bubba. Give him a doggie treat or something.

transformyself

Ha Lexie, you're right! I'll give that guy a dried chicken strip. Isn't he cute? The kids have actually changed his name by calling him Mr. Bubbles.

Linkmeister

What a pair of sweeties!

Isn't it amazing what our dogs can teach us about life, love and acceptance?

Sending puppy hugs from me and my furbaby to you and yours.

Tuffgirl

I did take my big dog for a walk (still a bit cold for the little guy yet) and met my RAH at the trail with our other big dog (that stays with him). His big dog is about 2; she's super territorial and just kind of bossy. My big dog is 8 and she's super mellow and laid back. They immediately got ruffled and snarly with each other as soon as we got them out of the cars. My RAH went to step in and I stopped him and said "just give them a minute here to work it out themselves...let's see what happens". Sure enough, my big dog stood her ground with such a nonchalant "whatever" attitude (albeit hackles up) and his big dog snarled and pushed and made noise until she finally gave up for not getting a reaction. Ahh, acceptance! As soon as she gave up, my big dog relaxed, and off they went to romp in the snow together, like the old pals they have been for a year now.

It made me smile to see that. I pointed it out to my RAH and he also got it - acceptance can be very relaxing but someone has to get there first before the other one can let their guard down. It was great! We had a very nice walk (all of us).

SoloMio

Love it, Transformie!!

I think Cesar Millan would be a great addictions counselor--the way he talks about the different "energies" in a family that impact how we interact--I KNOW every time I'm thinking about how I should be calm assertive--it's not just with my dog that I'm thinking about!

transformyself

Solo, you're so right. Look at this:
Everyday Sensei: Lessons about life from the Dog Whisper - Calm Assertive Energy

Tuffgirl

Being a forever dog lover and owner - I have such a huge crush on Cesar Milan, because this guy knows his energy! And I have learned so much from him that applies to people and not just our furry loved ones.

I remember telling my RAH that his drunkenness affected the dogs similarly to me and my girls - bad energy is bad energy, period. Leaving big dog #2 with him has been therapeutic for him (as hard as it was to leave her behind) as he is beginning to see how his moods affect her and make the connections to how it affected all of us. Hey, gotta start somewhere, right?!

Transformie, thanks for sharing the link...another good reminder of how we need to be in life.

transformyself

I have a huge crush on that guy, simply because he's HOT!
And he knows his energy. But being hot is the main reason. Sorry, I'm visually driven. More like a guy I think...

Linkmeister

Yeah, he is HOT! I have to wonder f he would sense my not-so-calm energy if I was to meet him in person.......

Seriously, being a fan of the Dog Whispererr - TV show and books, I have learned a lot from Cesar, not just about my dog but how to deal with the human race.

My dog knew before I did when the BF was about to relapse-he took cues from his behaviour before I picked up on them.

When he was in full relapse mode, the pup would go nowhere near him and become extremely protective of me, sensing my stress levels. To this day while my pup loves his "poppa,", he still is a bit distant toward him, almost as if he has to learn to trust BF again.

When I brought this up in an Al-Anon meeting, one of te members said that they have AA, Al-Anon, Alateen and they should have an Ala-"Mutt" group.......

wicked

Cesar Milan is the MAN!

Calm assertive energy. Not just for dogs.



I heard this gem from Cesar the other day:

"Can you feel sorry for a blind dog?
Sure.
Does it help the dog?
No."

I guess this was just amazing in its simplicity, because I was thinking about enabling.
He is always saying that dogs live in the moment and overcome disabilities by living it.


Can I feel sorry(worry about, enable, try to control) for my addicted loved one?
Sure.
Does it help the loved one?
No.

wicked

I have a huge crush on him. I love to watch him work. He works the humans first.
Then, he straightens the dog out right away, cause they are over it. Live in the moment.
Now, to get the humans on board.
He has fantastic energy!

Beth

Tuffgirl

I am laughing right now - yeah he is hot, but I think a big part of his hotness comes from his energy that shows through even on TV - you just want to do whatever this guy says, he's such a great leader.

I love watching people get it. I had hoped my RAH would get it from this show. He did say yesterday he has found himself yelling at big dog #2 a lot, trying to "control" her behavior. He said he realizes now it is better to control her environment than try to control her (i.e. she is a chewer, so remove all but the appropriate chewables from her vicinity, etc.). Again, baby steps toward a different way of thinking and viewing the world, and I am happy if the lessons are learned from the dog! I could tell when I saw her on Saturday that she was full of nervous energy so I am glad he agreed to walk with me yesterday. That dog needed some exercise!