Introduction and thank you ALL

Old 03-13-2011, 11:14 AM
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Introduction and thank you ALL

I have been struggling to "help" a friend of ours (who is an alcoholic/addict) for about 7 years now. I've very slowly learned that I've been enabling him so I took steps to stop that and to try and lessen the co-dependent relationship we have. Every day has been a struggle as I truly care for him and want the best but the lies, deceit, manipulation are killing me. (He lived with us for about 3 years because we were trying to provide a healthy, dry environment for him. As I'm sure it is with everyone, when he's sober he's amazing. But when he's drinking/taking pills etc, he's just plain scary and mean.) His drinking, anger, outbursts, lying etc. got so bad we had to kick him out because it was unhealthy for everyone. At that point, my husband had washed his hands of him and his behavior, but I still have hope. That was about a year ago.

I am very new to this site and I simply want to thank all of you for being there and for the posts I've read so far. Within the last 30 mins, I've been brought to tears multiple times with everyones openess and how your stories are so much like mine. Obviously, I haven't been to an al-anon meeting and know I should, however I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I have a lot of hope that this site and with your help, I will see what I need to do to protect myself and hopefully be a better friend. Thank you!
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Old 03-13-2011, 11:58 AM
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That first Al-Anon meeting is tough. Making yourself go back again is also tough. Each meeting gets easier and easier - and you may find you enjoy it and are learning new ways that actually work this time! Because in order to change something, we must first change ourselves and our approaches to it. You'll find a lot of good information here - keep reading and keep posting and asking questions. I've found so much collective wisdom here that has been truly a lifesaver for me.
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Old 03-14-2011, 09:30 AM
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Grnmtn1, you are not alone.
I think that single discovery helped me more than anything else, at least in the beginning.
This forum, and Al-Anon, I can safely practice being myself, the wonderful person I really am, with no need to hide things - because everyone there knows exactly what I am talking about.

You are not alone.
You are in the right place.
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:36 PM
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Hi Grnmtn what a wonderful picture you have in your avatar,

I recommend "Codependent no more" book by Melody Beatty.

In this healing journey we all find our own ways to feel better, I hope you find a mix that works for you, welcome and keep reading/posting!
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