wrong thinking pt 2
 

The first thread was so cathartic for me that I thought I would do a pt. 2.


1. " He's not bad, just misunderstood!"

2. " If I just love him enough, he will heal his poor wounded heart. "

3. " If I'm just patient enough......."

4. " I know he lies to everyone else, but not to me. He keeps me in the
loop. "

5. " My needs are not as important as his. "

6. " I'm stronger than him, I should be the one to make the sacrifices."

7. " So what if he treats the dog better than me. Dogs have rights too."

8. " He doesn't want me to talk to anyone, because last time I was chummy with everyone, my mouth caused nothing but trouble. "

9. " He is only controlling because he knows what's best. "


Please, go ahead and add your own! And at the end of the thread I will try to put the right thinking into my own wrong statements, like Cyranoak did for me in the last one!

10. I start dreaming of killing him without getting caught.

KIki,

I read in another thread, that the killing daydreams are a very common way of expressing ourselves.

Especially when in these types of relationships, we very quickly learn that we can never express ourselves (our feelings, opinions, hopes dreams etc. ) to our partners.

No, any thought or feeling that may upset the delicate balance of them continuing with their addiction is NEVER allowed!
So some of us explode every so often (at the most inapropriate times).
And some of us daydream of ways out! As longas you are not Planning to follow through with anything, daydreams are a way to let off some steam.

Wrong thinking "Who am I to be unhappy. I'm just selfish!"

"If I start asserting myself now, he'll stop loving me."

"If he would just stop drinking, our lives would be normal again."

At the begining of the relationship: if he would just stop drinking then we could be happy.
At the end: if he would just stop hitting me when he is drunk then we could be fine and i could handle the drinking.
When he was sober: if he wasnt so jealous then we would be fine!

I told myself so much crap and i believed it too!

Here's a good one...

" Why does he only make phone calls when I'm not around? He must need his privacy." duh!

Kiki
You made me laugh. I have wild fantasies myself and sometimes wish I was "strong enough" to carry them out. Not killing per se but
-Throwing all his porn magazines on HER front lawn along with the empty bottle of Viagra.
-Posting a status of his FACEBOOK page that says "I am a lying, cheating alcoholic. Who wants to be my friend?"
-Filling his car with all the empties he left in the garage.
-Slashing his tires when he is at the bar-the one he says he doesn't go to.
-Talking to HER husband the next time I see him at the grocery store-"Tell your wife I said hello!"
-taking pictures of all the empties he leaves in his wake and posting them someplace where his friends could see them-all those folks who think he is an upstanding citizen because of his volunteer work.

Yes, daydreaming is a very good release of anger and frustration/

How's this one?

Video what they are really like in private, then post it on utube!:lmao

Boy this thread took a turn for the worst but it is providing good therapy right now! I often wanted to video my AH just so he could see himself the next day. I wonder if he would have thought he was incredible entertaining or would he have been embarrassed. Not sure if he is capable of being embarrassed.

Back to wrong thinking..

"If I am upset by his behavior, that's because I am overreacting!" NOT