Blogs


Notices

Codependency in "reality"

Old 03-12-2011, 01:26 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
concernednurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 103
Codependency in "reality"

Now that I have really educated myself deeply on codependency and realize how badly it has effected me (thanks to my RABF, my obsessiveness on SR, my reading and self reflection, and therapy), I am now in tune to codependency EVERYWHERE! I first noticed it this week on the new Real World: Las Vegas, with Adam the manipulator, and Nany the codependent who needs to be needed. Then, I saw it on Jersey Shore, with Sammy and Ron. She left for a few days, got her head straight aka focussed on herself without being in contact with Ron, and "changed." Then she came back, felt great about HERSELF, and she saw "changes" in Ron, too. Then, introduce alcohol and BOOM... fight, fight, fight. As soon as they stopped focussing on themSELVES and started focussing their energy back onto each OTHER, they fell right back into codependency land and craziness. Volatile. And you know what's crazier? I can see it so obviously on TV, I don't even know these people. But I am seeing it in my OWN life, with people i know personally! It's crazy. I'm sure its because I'm tuned into it right now, but holy cow... are there really any balanced people in the world that don't have to work a program to be sane? I guess we all really do come with baggage...
concernednurse is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to concernednurse For This Useful Post:
CSHNow (03-13-2011), jackien41 (03-14-2011), Lilly1 (03-12-2011), StarCat (03-14-2011), starlight40 (03-12-2011)
Old 03-12-2011, 05:56 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Um,

If you're looking for "normal", reality TV isn't the place to find it.

Just sayin'...
LexieCat is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
gerryP (03-12-2011), lillamy (03-12-2011)
Old 03-12-2011, 06:10 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
concernednurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 103
I wasn't implying that there's any "normalcy" to reality TV whatsoever... actually, my post didn't even mention normal once. I was only noticing that codependency is everywhere. For example, alcoholism is so obvious in Charlie Sheen to people on this site because we're tuned into it... outsiders say "he's crazy!" Like my Jersey Shore example... as a fellow codependent, I can see it playing out in the relationship I spoke to, TV or not, and as an outsider, I might just think, "they're crazy!" But the reality of it, no pun intended, is that they're NOT crazy, they're codependent! Furthermore... the kicker, for me, is that I'm seeing codependency in MY life (myself aside because I've identified as codependent), with people that I DO know, that are not on TV. And its all over the place... hence the question, is there anyone out there that leads a truly balanced life without having to work a program?

And lastly, if Jersey Shore distracts me from obsessing over my own codependency and relationship struggles for an hour, maybe its what I need to help keep me in balance.
concernednurse is offline  
Old 03-12-2011, 06:54 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Actually, Charlie Sheen is crazy.

To be diplomatic, he's clearly mentally ill.

He is also an self professed alcoholic and addict.
gerryP is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to gerryP For This Useful Post:
Babyblue (03-13-2011)
Old 03-12-2011, 06:57 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
And yes, I believe there are many people who lead balanced lives (what balance means to them) and many people who do not 'need' a program to have a balanced life.
gerryP is offline  
Old 03-12-2011, 08:15 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 4
I know mental illness very well; my family has struggled with it for 20+ years. Been down that road, bought and worn the t-shirt many, many times. Now, I get myself involved with an alcoholic. Wow - the behaviors are very similar to mental illness. And the bottom line is the same...a brain completely out of whack and unable to right itself without some kind of intervention. Just had to say that, because it has come up many times this week. I don't think all addicts are "mentally ill" and all people with a mental illness are addicts, but the behaviors on both sides can look the same because the underlying issue is a brain chemistry issue. If your brain isn't functioning correctly, whatever the cause may be, there is bound to be some behaviors manifesting from that malfunction that appear crazy.

That said, I often wonder how easy it is for us to confuse codependency with interdependency. The more I read about codependency and the more I participate in Al-Anon, the more I realize I have some codependency issues, yes, but I am really not that bad off as far as being able to right myself again quickly and find some balance. That I can easily think for myself and put myself first, but that I do need people (interdependence) and can't go through life without the support of others around me.

Sometimes that line blurs, and sometimes its very clear.

And reality TV is an oxymoron... whenever we are on "stage" we are not being real. Real reality TV would be very boring to watch!
Tuffgirl is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tuffgirl For This Useful Post:
brokenheartfool (03-12-2011), lillamy (03-12-2011), Verbena (03-12-2011)
Old 03-12-2011, 02:54 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
concernednurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 103
I guess this was a weird post... most people on here probably don't waste their time watching reality TV... hahaha. For me, its a release! I love Jersey Shore! My truth is, their "crazyiness" on the show isn't far from the "crazy" in my codependent head... I guess you would have to follow it to understand. That's all!
concernednurse is offline  
Old 03-12-2011, 03:02 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
Nursey, don't apologize for watching reality TV! We all need our release/relaxation somehow -- and it is disturbing when we start seeing our own dysfunction all around us like that... wherever it rears its ugly head.

I don't understand a word of what you're relaying, because I don't have a TV -- I'm so highly evolved, you know, I don't watch the entertainment of the masses... no really, I didn't get to keep any of the TVs when I walked out on RAXH, and I haven't been able to afford a new one. If I did, you can BET I would be watching TRASH! I mean, after days and weeks of hard work and wading through the debris of your falling-apart life... I don't need Masterpiece Theater, I need Cake Boss.
lillamy is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
concernednurse (03-12-2011), johnnymau (03-12-2011)
Old 03-12-2011, 04:21 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
My last S.O. insisted on having the TV on, CONSTANTLY. Ever since I kicked him out, I can hardly stand to have it on. A shame, sorta, because I used to enjoy TV once in awhile (though I really can't stomach reality TV--no moralizing here, it just grates on me). I even downgraded to "basic" cable because I finally decided it was a waste of money when I so seldom watch it.

The one show I have liked, though, is Intervention. I was all set to hate it as exploitation--pandering of people's suffering for entertainment--but it is less entertaining than it is educational. I don't necessarily agree that interventions are a good idea in many cases, but the show does shed some light on the interactions between the addict/alcoholic and the families.
LexieCat is offline  
Old 03-12-2011, 05:49 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 4
concernednurse, I sometimes watch the Real Housewives show.

But I prefer to view it as entertainment, not reality. I think a lot of these shows are set up to be dramatic on purpose, so seeing massive amounts of codependency would be expected.
Tuffgirl is offline  
Old 03-12-2011, 06:07 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
concernednurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 103
Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
I think a lot of these shows are set up to be dramatic on purpose, so seeing massive amounts of codependency would be expected.
That's a really good point!

And I've seen intervention once or twice but I suppose it turned me off that majority of the time the people end up back on the street. Go figure, we can't make people change!! I did shed a tear or two watching though, because you really see how badly people want to help, so badly they will nearly kill themselves or go crazy.. hehe. But I'm sure the education of it now would be eye opening as I have this new found knowledge.
concernednurse is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 AM.