nodaybut2day

I'm so glad to see that you are trusting yourself and are preparing to leave.

Next step: get tested for everything under the sun. (you have to ask specifically for the HSV test or they won't give it to you, and having HSV2 can have a significant impact, so it's important to test for it).

want2help

So here is an update. AH is fast asleep. I did some investigating.... Honestly, how stupid can you get... I found the receipt to the escort agency in his pocket along with the newspaper cut out of all the local brothels. It's funny you know, how much easier it is to leave now. Thanks all for your advise and support. The doctors will be the first place I go in the morning. Im laying here thinking of all the things I will finally be able to do with my life when i leave. I'm so glad we don't have children, how much more difficult that would have been.

Buffalo66

I feel like you are lucky to have such clear and solid evidence.
All the wondering is hell.
My A used to be really stupid about covering tracks when he was actively drinking.
It's embarrassing.
I am sorry, but also happy for you. Truly, not knowing and trying to make it work would absorb more of your life.

Not having kids makes it simpler, for sure. You have everything to look ahead to.
Consider tis having dodged an uglier bullet, one that could have gone on for another several years.

And keep your resolve. Don't dress this up, don't pity him, don't make excuses in your mind. Just let him be that crappy and get out.

Good for you

want2help

Well said buffalo66. It's True, how embarrassing it is that they are too drunk to cover their tracks. Goodluck to him. His next Partner is going to have her work cut out for her. I feel like dancing... I can't wait to get out. I can't wait for the next chapter of my life. This chapter has been way too long and way too exhausting.

barb dwyer

Nothing to add just stopped in to let you know you'renot alone.
and that someone else has read the thread and is thinking of you.

ItsmeAlice

I always seemed to have this mental line that my EX had to cross before I would leave. I remember finally uttering the words to him that if he had just hit me once during the 10+ years we were together I would have left immediately.
He was horrified I would suggest he would do such a thing.
It was not long after that we were arguing and he raised his fist to punch me but stopped short.
I thank my Higher Power that I saw that threat as a sign of what he was really capable of finally accepted it was over.
I began prepping to leave and held to it and left when the opportunity presented itself.
Still boggles me that he was surprised when we separated. That's some serious denial.

Your line has been crossed. Hold firm to that.

Good for you for protecting yourself and not bothering to engage with him. He knows what he's done. It needs know acknowledgment from you to be true.

Best wishes,
Alice

tallulah

Sometimes life smacks you around the face with something you just can't ignore. It keeps handing us the same lessons again and again until we wise up... *raises fist to the sky.. curse yoooooo*

Sometimes it throws something at us so painful, so humongous that we just can't ignore it.. it's like life has run us over with a truck and threatens to keep backing up over us until we get the hell out of the way.

I'm not glad that it/he has done this to you.. but I am glad that you're strong enough to see it for what it is and strong enough to get out the way.

Keep posting and telling us how you're doing.. stay safe *hugs*

Tx

tjp613

It's as if he WANTS to get caught! Hmmmmmmmmmm........

Oh well, I guess he got his wish if that's the case!

nodaybut2day

Sorry Tallulah...but this made me giggle. It sounds almost...Monty Python-esque.

Shellcrusher

Good way to spend your minds energy. Forward thinking.

theuncertainty

(I was thinking Invader Zim. )

Want2Help, I am so sorry. It's astounding the stupidity and callousness some AH's are capable of. XAH moved in with his GF the same month he met her (I'd left him already), lied to me about her just being a landlord; lied to her about already being divorced. Was caught out by both GF and I (she kept him - her problem now). XAH was still amazed and PO'd that I filed for divorce. HOW DARE I?! I was apparently supposed to stay waiting in the wings just in case GF didn't work out. Pffft. Not ever gonna happen again, buddy, and he's figuring that out now too.

Hang in there. Wishing you peace and strength.

want2help

Thanks for everyones support, it really helps to read all of your thoughts, I actually look forward to being on this forum as I always sign off less confused and smiling, so thanks. This morning I left home before he woke, shortly after I got a call and it was as if nothing had happened. He even said "I love you honey". I'm steaming inside but on the outside I am playing happy content wifey...for now. I just can't stop thinking... What would $66 have been for?? O/S?? The website said it was $120 for half an hour, I know this is not important but it's playing massively on my mind.

LexieCat

Um, he was QUICK?

RollTide

I guess it just didn't take him as long.

suki44883

LOL! Yeah, I was thinking...well, $66 could be for 15 minutes, plus a $6.00 fee for the inconvenience.

LexieCat

Or maybe they charge according to, um, size...

Summerpeach

My ex was really stupid about hiding things. I can only imagine the things I didn't find!
My dealbreaker has and always was cheating. When I caught him cheating, I walked! Same day! In 5 mins of catching him
When I caught him (naked pics of his pig on his cell) he actually smiled when I showed him and said "Oh that's nothing"

These men are mentally insane and really, nothing shocks me anymore!

Just think, you found this, imagine what else you didn't find!
I went out a week after I left my loser and got tested for everything under the sun. I did leave my ex once and he went out and had sex and she gave him herpes.....our sex life died that day!
Be careful, these parasites carry all kinds of std's!

Buffalo66

You know, I am sure you are getting past this part of the details by now, Want2, but maybe they bill in increments, $66 is 1/2 of $120 plus tax.

just sayin'. There may be another charge for $66 that shows up on there from the same day.

Buffalo66

How are you doing, by the way, Want2help?