Intervention; some of my thoughts
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Intervention; some of my thoughts
I did not have a chance to comment on another thread that is now closed.
Interventions can and do compel the addict to enter treatment. What % of interventions lead to entering treatment, I do not know
Once at treatment, 12 steps are not uncommonly found as part of the program. CBT can also be used. along with other approaches.
It should be noted that while many swear by 12 steps, some recovering addicts did not find sobriety with it and found other strategies that did.
Of course 100% of everyone entering treatment does not find recovery. Some relapse, some quit rehab. Some relapse and eventually find lasting sobriety.
Why are statistics so difficult to find? Because followup reporting is not uniform. Also there are issues of anonymity.
I read an excellent book about intervention, called "Love First" Jay is the author. He is a recovered addict that owes his sobriety to actions taken by his family.
Interventions can and do compel the addict to enter treatment. What % of interventions lead to entering treatment, I do not know
Once at treatment, 12 steps are not uncommonly found as part of the program. CBT can also be used. along with other approaches.
It should be noted that while many swear by 12 steps, some recovering addicts did not find sobriety with it and found other strategies that did.
Of course 100% of everyone entering treatment does not find recovery. Some relapse, some quit rehab. Some relapse and eventually find lasting sobriety.
Why are statistics so difficult to find? Because followup reporting is not uniform. Also there are issues of anonymity.
I read an excellent book about intervention, called "Love First" Jay is the author. He is a recovered addict that owes his sobriety to actions taken by his family.
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Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
I also didn't get a chance to reply.
When I first read the title, "Intervention", I thought it was about one of my favorite television shows :-) I'm currently not living with an active addict so I think that's why I can watch the A&E series. The alcoholic in my life was my father and he recently passed away in August.
I just wanted to say that what I sometimes find frustrating about watching shows like Intervention or reading posts where people were able to help their loved ones is that it makes the co-dependent in me feel like I'm not doing enough. I didn't do enough to "save" my father or that I should continue to try to "fix" the broken people in my family of origin. This puts me back in an unhealthy place.
For me, as a recovering ACA, I have truly had to accept the fact that not everyone wants help or can be helped. Even within my own family of origin, while none of us are addicts we have definitely learned to depend on various coping mechanisms that got us through our difficult childhood. I've learned to accept that not everyone can/wants to work through their past. Some pain may just be too great to face.
Prior to my dad's death, I was talking to my father's brother (a 30+ year recovering alcoholic in his 70s) and asked him why he never was able to persuade my father to stop drinking. His response, "He just never seemed that interested."
I think that's it in a nutshell. Unless someone is truly interested in change it's just not going to happen.
Throughout his entire life, my father never took responsibility for his drinking. It was always someone else's problem. My mother and father were divorced thirty years ago. During his final years he was STILL blaming my mother for his drinking. Thought that if SHE had stayed with him maybe he would have quit?!?
Even as "just" an ACA without any major addiction problems, I struggle daily with relearning healthy ways to cope with life's challenges. I struggle with being the best mom that I can without having very good role models. It's hard for me and I REALLY REALLY want to live a better life for me and my children. It just doesn't seem like I'd be changing at all if I was doing it because someone else wanted me to.
Lastly, because of coming from a dysfunctional family I know that I get triggered when someone tells me what to do. I spent the early part of my life being told what to do, think, and feel. Nothing annoys me more than when someone tells me what I'm doing wrong. I despise unsolicited advice. I think it's almost insulting to assume that you know what's best for someone else. Even when someone is making really bad choices, you can't take away their right to choose how to live their life.
For the people in my family that are struggling, I try to love and accept them for who they are, I'm learning to set boundaries, and I offer support and advice when I'm asked. I think that's really all I can do.
Thank you for letting me share.
db
When I first read the title, "Intervention", I thought it was about one of my favorite television shows :-) I'm currently not living with an active addict so I think that's why I can watch the A&E series. The alcoholic in my life was my father and he recently passed away in August.
I just wanted to say that what I sometimes find frustrating about watching shows like Intervention or reading posts where people were able to help their loved ones is that it makes the co-dependent in me feel like I'm not doing enough. I didn't do enough to "save" my father or that I should continue to try to "fix" the broken people in my family of origin. This puts me back in an unhealthy place.
For me, as a recovering ACA, I have truly had to accept the fact that not everyone wants help or can be helped. Even within my own family of origin, while none of us are addicts we have definitely learned to depend on various coping mechanisms that got us through our difficult childhood. I've learned to accept that not everyone can/wants to work through their past. Some pain may just be too great to face.
Prior to my dad's death, I was talking to my father's brother (a 30+ year recovering alcoholic in his 70s) and asked him why he never was able to persuade my father to stop drinking. His response, "He just never seemed that interested."
I think that's it in a nutshell. Unless someone is truly interested in change it's just not going to happen.
Throughout his entire life, my father never took responsibility for his drinking. It was always someone else's problem. My mother and father were divorced thirty years ago. During his final years he was STILL blaming my mother for his drinking. Thought that if SHE had stayed with him maybe he would have quit?!?
Even as "just" an ACA without any major addiction problems, I struggle daily with relearning healthy ways to cope with life's challenges. I struggle with being the best mom that I can without having very good role models. It's hard for me and I REALLY REALLY want to live a better life for me and my children. It just doesn't seem like I'd be changing at all if I was doing it because someone else wanted me to.
Lastly, because of coming from a dysfunctional family I know that I get triggered when someone tells me what to do. I spent the early part of my life being told what to do, think, and feel. Nothing annoys me more than when someone tells me what I'm doing wrong. I despise unsolicited advice. I think it's almost insulting to assume that you know what's best for someone else. Even when someone is making really bad choices, you can't take away their right to choose how to live their life.
For the people in my family that are struggling, I try to love and accept them for who they are, I'm learning to set boundaries, and I offer support and advice when I'm asked. I think that's really all I can do.
Thank you for letting me share.
db
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Since you mentioned the A&E show, I thought I would briefly contribute: while my AW was at rehab, they would watch Intervention at night for entertainment. They did not relate to either the addict's situation or the intervention's outcome, at least not publicly. I still believe that internally it stimulated thoughts that were probably uncomfortable for them all, but an intervention from the addict's perspective can be quite different from those of us on the other side.
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Originally Posted by escape artist 
anybody ever see the intervention on Rescue Me? hilarious
Love it.
Beth
I watch Intervetntion on A&E, not as entertainment so much, but as a reminder of what happens to me when I give in to my addiction.
I admit, I love seeing how great they look after a couple of months of rehab and I love it when they are successful up to that point.
Beth
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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About all an intervention accomplishes (and, if people are honest, all they are INTENDED to accomplish) is to get the addict's attention long enough to get them to agree to a rehab where there MAY be hope that they will clear up enough to realize what they are doing to themselves and be motivated to continue once they get out.
Period. It does not instill the desire to stop or to get well. Either that desire is there (maybe masked by the alcohol or drug) or it isn't. If it isn't, the intervention isn't going to put it there.
My opinion.
Period. It does not instill the desire to stop or to get well. Either that desire is there (maybe masked by the alcohol or drug) or it isn't. If it isn't, the intervention isn't going to put it there.
My opinion.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
I watch Intervetntion on A&E, not as entertainment so much, but as a reminder of what happens to me when I give in to my addiction.
I admit, I love seeing how great they look after a couple of months of rehab and I love it when they are successful up to that point.
Beth
I admit, I love seeing how great they look after a couple of months of rehab and I love it when they are successful up to that point.
Beth
I also look forward to seeing the transformations after being sober for a couple of months. I'm sometimes crossing my fingers at the end of the show hoping that the addicts makes it.
db
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Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
As I posted, on the other thread, an intervention would not have worked for me.
My dad would come find me, out on the streets, smoking/looking for crack, every few months, we'd pick up lunch at a fast food restaurant and eat it in the park.
I KNEW my family loved me, I KNEW I was hurting them, horribly..I could see it in my dad's eyes, in his tears, I also KNEW I wasn't ready to quit. He offered rehab..told him not to waste his money, I could get into one for free in the county I lived in. I didn't want recovery and no one could make me want it. I'm stubborn as he!!..it can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing.
I don't watch the show "intervention" any more. I used to, until they had an episode on crack. Seeing someone light that pipe up? Well, I couldn't change the channel fast enough. It doesn't trigger me to use, any more, it triggers the feelings of self hatred I had for myself, and I'm trying really hard to get past that.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
My dad would come find me, out on the streets, smoking/looking for crack, every few months, we'd pick up lunch at a fast food restaurant and eat it in the park.
I KNEW my family loved me, I KNEW I was hurting them, horribly..I could see it in my dad's eyes, in his tears, I also KNEW I wasn't ready to quit. He offered rehab..told him not to waste his money, I could get into one for free in the county I lived in. I didn't want recovery and no one could make me want it. I'm stubborn as he!!..it can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing.
I don't watch the show "intervention" any more. I used to, until they had an episode on crack. Seeing someone light that pipe up? Well, I couldn't change the channel fast enough. It doesn't trigger me to use, any more, it triggers the feelings of self hatred I had for myself, and I'm trying really hard to get past that.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
MIL and I were organizing one for Mel. We each read a great book on the subject, (forget the name) and we had to decide on the compassionate, (we love you please check into this lovely rehab we found) or confrontational style, (we love you but we'll kick you to the curb if you choose poorly).
I was not yet at the point where I was ready to pull the "rehab or divorce" card and wanted the compassionate type. MIL was pressing me hard for the confrontational type. I didn't figure on all the family dynamics that would be dredged up when planning that intervention. MIL was banking on me being the bad guy so she could save face if things went wrong. All the risk was mine! Not that I blame her, my heart really goes out to parents here. Imagine how relieved I was when a week before the planned date Mel announced she was ready for help.
I tried to watch a couple of those A&E intervention shows... still to raw. I remember a couple years ago shortly after that show first came out some competing TV producer joined this forum looking for people to do a show on. The back lash from members here was epic. We're people in pain, not material for your ratings. I can't imagine a scenario where I would want to be on that show?!?
I was not yet at the point where I was ready to pull the "rehab or divorce" card and wanted the compassionate type. MIL was pressing me hard for the confrontational type. I didn't figure on all the family dynamics that would be dredged up when planning that intervention. MIL was banking on me being the bad guy so she could save face if things went wrong. All the risk was mine! Not that I blame her, my heart really goes out to parents here. Imagine how relieved I was when a week before the planned date Mel announced she was ready for help.
I tried to watch a couple of those A&E intervention shows... still to raw. I remember a couple years ago shortly after that show first came out some competing TV producer joined this forum looking for people to do a show on. The back lash from members here was epic. We're people in pain, not material for your ratings. I can't imagine a scenario where I would want to be on that show?!?
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Maybe it would be 'good' in the way
that some people seem to have a 'list'
that they check off
to make sure they're 'good' people?
LIke this -
"ok, so and so is strung out -
so 'they' say we should do this and this and this
and when we've done all these things
then we're fulfilled in the
'done all we can'
list?
SOrry I'm kinda abstract about this answer
but I think it hits the 'essence' of what I'm
seeing in my head.
I remember my own BOSS coming to me
in the middle of the afternoon and
flat out saying
"Barb, you're drinking way too much"
and it having no effect on me whatever.
I was 'in' too deep
and now way was I getting out
without ending the world.
Andthat's what had to happen for me.
SO ...
from THIS galaxy far far away....
maybe it's more the surrounding people
who receive the most positive effect?
that some people seem to have a 'list'
that they check off
to make sure they're 'good' people?
LIke this -
"ok, so and so is strung out -
so 'they' say we should do this and this and this
and when we've done all these things
then we're fulfilled in the
'done all we can'
list?
SOrry I'm kinda abstract about this answer
but I think it hits the 'essence' of what I'm
seeing in my head.
I remember my own BOSS coming to me
in the middle of the afternoon and
flat out saying
"Barb, you're drinking way too much"
and it having no effect on me whatever.
I was 'in' too deep
and now way was I getting out
without ending the world.
Andthat's what had to happen for me.
SO ...
from THIS galaxy far far away....
maybe it's more the surrounding people
who receive the most positive effect?
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