How Do You Express Yourself?
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
How Do You Express Yourself?
One of the things I have struggled with during my whole dysfunctional childhood and similar marriage is learning how to express myself. I don't mean with words - I mean artistically. I have been reading SARK's "Succulent Wild Women" and it has gotten me thinking about this.
Growing up, expressing myself in any way was strictly forbidden. Only one person's version of life was allowed and it sure wasn't mine. I was allowed to participate in stuff like choir and drama, but I didn't really get into it. I just wanted to get the hell out of the house. When you use it for that, it tends to lose its charm.
After getting married, I gradually just gave up what few hobbies I had. And I don't really want to go back to those - I am looking to see how I can develop new ones.
I have this nagging misbelief that my artistic expression has to have impact - like for example, something I could sell or show. I know that idea is crap; I'm working to overcome it.
What do you guys do?
What do you invest in it to keep it going?
What do you get out of it?
How do I find/discover/develop my artistic side?
How do I keep it alive?
Ideas? Comments?
Growing up, expressing myself in any way was strictly forbidden. Only one person's version of life was allowed and it sure wasn't mine. I was allowed to participate in stuff like choir and drama, but I didn't really get into it. I just wanted to get the hell out of the house. When you use it for that, it tends to lose its charm.
After getting married, I gradually just gave up what few hobbies I had. And I don't really want to go back to those - I am looking to see how I can develop new ones.
I have this nagging misbelief that my artistic expression has to have impact - like for example, something I could sell or show. I know that idea is crap; I'm working to overcome it.
What do you guys do?
What do you invest in it to keep it going?
What do you get out of it?
How do I find/discover/develop my artistic side?
How do I keep it alive?
Ideas? Comments?
Last edited by PurpleWilder; 03-06-2011 at 04:09 AM. Reason: why is it always 6 AM when I get an epiphany?
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Originally Posted by PurpleSquirrel 
Growing up, expressing myself in any way was strictly forbidden. Only one person's version of life was allowed and it sure wasn't mine. I was allowed to participate in stuff like choir and drama, but I didn't really get into it. I just wanted to get the hell out of the house. When you use it for that, it tends to lose its charm.
Growing up, I used to read a lot. My taste in books changed as I grew older, until I worked my way into non-fiction, and then poetry.
I started writing science fiction when I was younger - I never finished this awesome novel I was going to write and publish, mind you - but once I discovered poetry, that was it, I was hooked.
It is so easy to write a poem, for me, especially when I have feelings I am trying to understand. Most of my poetry is unfortunately depressed, but most of the depressed ones get cheerful towards the end, so it worked. Poetry also doesn't take a lot of time to write out, unless I want it to take a long time, so I have a hobby that will basically take as much time as I want it to take up, and not a second more or less.
Plus, if I ever do decide I want to sell it or something, I can just organize something on one of those self-publishing sites (lulu is the one I'm registered at, although I haven't put up anything for sale or anything), and feel special because I'm suddenly a published author. :p
I used to draw a lot when I was younger, and do cross stitch, but I haven't been able to get back into that yet. With XABF he insisted I do scrapbooking, and at some point I do intend to go through all the scrapbook supplies I have and complete what I've been working on, because I feel it will be therapeutic at some point to remember the good times, and why I stayed so long.
That said, poetry is still my favorite.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Ha ha, Purple Squirrel - I seem to have my best thoughts in the morning, so you are not the only one up and having an epiphany at 6am!
I make beaded jewelry. I've not sold anything in a long time, though - the real job takes the bulk of my time. I quit doing it for a long time, and rediscovered it when dealing with the hardest part of my marriage (last summer). It seemed one way to stay out of the A's way as much as possible. I made so many necklaces that I was begging people to take them! I also refinish furniture and found that to be quite therapeutic. Plus, it allowed me hours in the garage (also out of the way of the A). I taught myself how to do things around the house (tile, paint, trim, etc.) and finished many projects that got started and never finished.
I like to work with my hands because for a living, I work with my brain. It's a real sense of accomplishment to "make" something tangible. I have no desire to sell anything or have it have some kind of impact on anyone but me. It's a pleasure if something I make does become something someone else loves, but that's not why I do it. I think I find it eases the feeling of nastiness that has been a big part of my life for a while - bringing a little sense of beauty into it, even on the smallest scale.
How do you find it? Wander around a hobby store (Michael's, Hobby Lobby) and see if there is something that particularly interests you or catches your eye. Go to craft fairs and art galleries. I always feel bad doing this, but I go to craft fairs to "borrow" other people's ideas...sometimes using the camera on my phone! ; )
One part of my job involves meetings at my local senior center. I always stop into the knitting group to say hello and remind them I am joining as soon as I finish my degree program...I would love to learn how to knit! Take classes...there was one I missed last fall on wire-wrapping for jewelry that I intend to catch this summer. Keep an eye out for those inexpensive classes on whatever it is you want to try.
I keep these things alive by not giving a crap what anyone else thinks. If it makes me happy, that's all that is important, right? For me, I need an outlet to be creative and work that part of my brain once in a while. It's very grounding for me.
I make beaded jewelry. I've not sold anything in a long time, though - the real job takes the bulk of my time. I quit doing it for a long time, and rediscovered it when dealing with the hardest part of my marriage (last summer). It seemed one way to stay out of the A's way as much as possible. I made so many necklaces that I was begging people to take them! I also refinish furniture and found that to be quite therapeutic. Plus, it allowed me hours in the garage (also out of the way of the A). I taught myself how to do things around the house (tile, paint, trim, etc.) and finished many projects that got started and never finished.
I like to work with my hands because for a living, I work with my brain. It's a real sense of accomplishment to "make" something tangible. I have no desire to sell anything or have it have some kind of impact on anyone but me. It's a pleasure if something I make does become something someone else loves, but that's not why I do it. I think I find it eases the feeling of nastiness that has been a big part of my life for a while - bringing a little sense of beauty into it, even on the smallest scale.
How do you find it? Wander around a hobby store (Michael's, Hobby Lobby) and see if there is something that particularly interests you or catches your eye. Go to craft fairs and art galleries. I always feel bad doing this, but I go to craft fairs to "borrow" other people's ideas...sometimes using the camera on my phone! ; )
One part of my job involves meetings at my local senior center. I always stop into the knitting group to say hello and remind them I am joining as soon as I finish my degree program...I would love to learn how to knit! Take classes...there was one I missed last fall on wire-wrapping for jewelry that I intend to catch this summer. Keep an eye out for those inexpensive classes on whatever it is you want to try.
I keep these things alive by not giving a crap what anyone else thinks. If it makes me happy, that's all that is important, right? For me, I need an outlet to be creative and work that part of my brain once in a while. It's very grounding for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 338
Interesting post...
I too think I have an artistic side that has not been developed. So far I have not found it.
I scrapbooked for years. I loved the feel of the paper and choosing just the right colors and patterns to express the feelings I had when looking at the photos of my beautiful family and all the fun we were having. Needless to say I have not been able to scrapbook for about 3 years. Not too many happy photos lately.
I get together with some women once a month and we make greeting cards with stamps and punches and watercolors and just an assortment of tools and mediums. We each come up with a design and we copy each others putting our won flair onto it. I always say it is my art therapy. Not really expressing myself but a chance to learn some new techniques and "play" with new materials. It might spark something.
I think that what has worked for me is to try new things and see if it is something I like doing and gives me some joy. Then I can make it my own. Any resources in your areas where you might be able to take a class and explore some things? Dance, a craft, painting, writing, cake decorating?
Or maybe you will find a totally unique way to express yourself- like the lady on CBS Sunday morning who used dryer lint to recreate "The Last Supper"!
I like that you are thinking about you. I recently starting learning tai chi. For a few hours a week all I had to focus on was learning the moves and moving my body to follow the patterns. Not really a creative expression but a way to focus on ME and the sense of accomplishment that I felt as I learned and refined the moves was something that I needed to feel.
Keep us posted as to what you discover!
I too think I have an artistic side that has not been developed. So far I have not found it.
I scrapbooked for years. I loved the feel of the paper and choosing just the right colors and patterns to express the feelings I had when looking at the photos of my beautiful family and all the fun we were having. Needless to say I have not been able to scrapbook for about 3 years. Not too many happy photos lately.
I get together with some women once a month and we make greeting cards with stamps and punches and watercolors and just an assortment of tools and mediums. We each come up with a design and we copy each others putting our won flair onto it. I always say it is my art therapy. Not really expressing myself but a chance to learn some new techniques and "play" with new materials. It might spark something.
I think that what has worked for me is to try new things and see if it is something I like doing and gives me some joy. Then I can make it my own. Any resources in your areas where you might be able to take a class and explore some things? Dance, a craft, painting, writing, cake decorating?
Or maybe you will find a totally unique way to express yourself- like the lady on CBS Sunday morning who used dryer lint to recreate "The Last Supper"!
I like that you are thinking about you. I recently starting learning tai chi. For a few hours a week all I had to focus on was learning the moves and moving my body to follow the patterns. Not really a creative expression but a way to focus on ME and the sense of accomplishment that I felt as I learned and refined the moves was something that I needed to feel.
Keep us posted as to what you discover!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
Jaimaica, you said you have yet to find your artistic side, then listed a bunch of wonderful ways of expression!
For me, I am a Renaissance girl. It's a little bit of everything! My biggest problem is not finishing or continuing, but if it brings me joy in the moment, so what?
I knit. I do paper art (homemade cards and collage). I watercolor. I sketch. I decorate cakes. And a number of years ago I started tile mosaic. I LOVE IT. How that came about...actually, how they all come about is I see something I love or am fascinated by or want to know how it was made and I try it.
I think this is similar to other areas of our life where we are cut off. How do we feel about our A? We don't know. Same thing. What is the artistic expression for us? No idea.
It seems to be the opportunity is to check out different mediums and FEEL what calls us. This is a great opportunity to build relationship with self.
Good luck and happy hunting.
peace
For me, I am a Renaissance girl. It's a little bit of everything! My biggest problem is not finishing or continuing, but if it brings me joy in the moment, so what?
I knit. I do paper art (homemade cards and collage). I watercolor. I sketch. I decorate cakes. And a number of years ago I started tile mosaic. I LOVE IT. How that came about...actually, how they all come about is I see something I love or am fascinated by or want to know how it was made and I try it.
I think this is similar to other areas of our life where we are cut off. How do we feel about our A? We don't know. Same thing. What is the artistic expression for us? No idea.
It seems to be the opportunity is to check out different mediums and FEEL what calls us. This is a great opportunity to build relationship with self.
Good luck and happy hunting.
peace
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Creativity is my therapy.
It's the spillage of what
my mind can't process
or that my mind can't arrange in linear form.
Or
It's the overwhelming awareness
of the miracle
that we are here at all.
That we can go to sleep
and wake up in the same place with
the same life and the same past....
when there's so many other worlds we could wake up in.
Creativity is anything
that part of yourself goes into.
When I had to create
the joy went out of it
and I felt that I had to create
only what would sell.
Not what *I* wanted to draw or paint
but what *I thought* others wanted to see me do.
THe 'self' is intangible.
'We' are not our shape
not our clothes our car our houses.
"WE' are intangible as the wind.
we can be felt but not really seen
except in our effect on other things in this world.
When we creat something
it's the part of ourselves
that can't be seen
cant' be touched
can't be taken away.
That's why it's so sacred to be given a gift
someone has created just for you.
I think.
Just an opinion.
So it doesn't matter what it is
so long as 'you' are in it.
It will be beautiful.
It's the spillage of what
my mind can't process
or that my mind can't arrange in linear form.
Or
It's the overwhelming awareness
of the miracle
that we are here at all.
That we can go to sleep
and wake up in the same place with
the same life and the same past....
when there's so many other worlds we could wake up in.
Creativity is anything
that part of yourself goes into.
When I had to create
the joy went out of it
and I felt that I had to create
only what would sell.
Not what *I* wanted to draw or paint
but what *I thought* others wanted to see me do.
THe 'self' is intangible.
'We' are not our shape
not our clothes our car our houses.
"WE' are intangible as the wind.
we can be felt but not really seen
except in our effect on other things in this world.
When we creat something
it's the part of ourselves
that can't be seen
cant' be touched
can't be taken away.
That's why it's so sacred to be given a gift
someone has created just for you.
I think.
Just an opinion.
So it doesn't matter what it is
so long as 'you' are in it.
It will be beautiful.
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