How can Day 2 feel this good?
How can Day 2 feel this good?
I left AH to spend 6 weeks away (minimum--we'll "check in" at Week 6), as some of you may know from previous posts.
Man, I'm almost feeling guilty at how lovely this is. I'm in a place that I "escaped" to once before, but never really committed to full-time. This time, I definitely am hunkered down for the 6 weeks. I LOVE this town I'm in. Today I walked to my bank, and I walked to the beach and I walked to get a hand-made card for my landlady whose birthday is tomorrow, and a "spiritual life coach" yoga instructor is at the end of my block with classes every day, and I could literally walk to the AlAnon meeting I'm going to tonight, and the house is so cute and homey, and I'm eating nice healthy home-made meals, and I'm getting my work done looking out the window at people walking their dogs in the park across the street and my kids are on board with me and want to come and visit and AH "just wants to get me home" and so asked me about oupatient programs (which is not #1 on my list for why I feel good, but at least I don't feel as panicky as I did yesterday when my son went home to find his car in the driveway but no response from a dark house at 7pm when he was banging on the door).
Whew. Thanks to all who have given me strength and inspiration with their experience and hope. I KNOW I did the right thing. I know it all won't be peaches and cream going forward but I feel some peace in my heart today.
Man, I'm almost feeling guilty at how lovely this is. I'm in a place that I "escaped" to once before, but never really committed to full-time. This time, I definitely am hunkered down for the 6 weeks. I LOVE this town I'm in. Today I walked to my bank, and I walked to the beach and I walked to get a hand-made card for my landlady whose birthday is tomorrow, and a "spiritual life coach" yoga instructor is at the end of my block with classes every day, and I could literally walk to the AlAnon meeting I'm going to tonight, and the house is so cute and homey, and I'm eating nice healthy home-made meals, and I'm getting my work done looking out the window at people walking their dogs in the park across the street and my kids are on board with me and want to come and visit and AH "just wants to get me home" and so asked me about oupatient programs (which is not #1 on my list for why I feel good, but at least I don't feel as panicky as I did yesterday when my son went home to find his car in the driveway but no response from a dark house at 7pm when he was banging on the door).
Whew. Thanks to all who have given me strength and inspiration with their experience and hope. I KNOW I did the right thing. I know it all won't be peaches and cream going forward but I feel some peace in my heart today.
I know it all won't be peaches and cream going forward but I feel some peace in my heart today.
Your description of your new digs sound like heaven to me as well, not to mention the relief of finally getting out an environment that is sooooo stressful. I was surprised too when I felt elated to be away from AH.
It's like so many folks tell us here, getting out of the stressful environment helps alleviate the stress. Simple huh? I was programmed to stay and fight and work and feel like sh!t about myself so I did, for what now feels like an eternity.
Congratulations! Enjoy your solace!
When exAH left, he berrated me for looking "gleeful" over his departure. I wasn't gleeful, but I was enormously glad, it was unbelievably better than the life I had been living. I felt like I was walking a couple of inches up from the ground instead of dragging my feet through the concrete.
approx 1 month before I decided to seperate, we had a damp-proof course put in the house, ds is asthmatic and to move him from the fumes and dust and re-plastering I rented a house for a week half a mile away, ex decide to stay at our home and drink round the clock "supervising" the work.
That was my taster, it was fabulous, just me and the children, so much peace.
Life isn't a bowl of cherries now, but when I think about how life would be if I was dealing with the stuff that life throws at everyone, AND having to live with him, I am still grateful, daily, to have made the decision to get away.
enjoy your peace Solo, this is what life can be if we let it.
approx 1 month before I decided to seperate, we had a damp-proof course put in the house, ds is asthmatic and to move him from the fumes and dust and re-plastering I rented a house for a week half a mile away, ex decide to stay at our home and drink round the clock "supervising" the work.
That was my taster, it was fabulous, just me and the children, so much peace.
Life isn't a bowl of cherries now, but when I think about how life would be if I was dealing with the stuff that life throws at everyone, AND having to live with him, I am still grateful, daily, to have made the decision to get away.
enjoy your peace Solo, this is what life can be if we let it.
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