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-   -   OT -- no alcohol involved. A rough day for me (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/221027-ot-no-alcohol-involved-rough-day-me.html)

zrx1200R 02-26-2011 04:54 PM

OT -- no alcohol involved. A rough day for me
 
26 February, 2011. Today was one of those gloomy Texas winter days. Which could mean anything from ice and sleet, bitter sub freezing temp, hail, thunderstorms, drizzle, steady cold or warm rain, clear and hot, or clear and cold. Or anything else you can imagine. It’s always odd wearing shorts in February, then having to remember where you coat is in early April because you want to go play in the 1 inch of snow with the kids. Texans are used it, and think it normal. Today’s winter weather was warm. The sky was dark all day, with a nearly solid bumpy overcast of various shades of gray. A sliver of brilliant blue would occasionally peek through. Humid, with a light but steady breeze. The weather matched my mood, for I had to say goodbye to an old friend today.

It was love at first sight when I met her. She had recently retired from a career as a working girl. No, not like that. She was an athlete. A sprinter. Blessed with a natural athlete’s body and enhanced for the past few years with a high protein diet. When I first met her she was a sculpture of lean, taught muscles and skin stretched tight across her bones. Skinny, but not anorexic. To see her move was to enjoy a thing of natural beauty. Just watching her walk was captivating. She had such an elegant and purposeful stride. Smooth and silky. Never awkward. And when she chose to run, was just as graceful. Always a head turner, everyone always looked at us. Quite the odd couple, as I am certainly not blessed with a matching physique or fine looks. Often people stopped just to talk to us. They never stopped to talk when it was just me.

After she entered my life she stopped competing, and training. She even enjoyed the occasional chocolate treat, far more occasionally than I. You could say she retired, but she was still active. Just not competitive anymore. She ran just for herself. When she wanted to. She wasn’t a finicky or picky eater. She just didn’t eat much. She still looked great, with the extra weight over the years only adding to her feminine appearance and smoothing out a few chiseled features. You could still see the lean muscles and the outline of her ribs. She lost the cutting edge look of a world class athlete. However, there was no hiding her athletic build. Over the years her auburn hair faded a little. Some white and gray mixed in among the brownish red allowing the astute observer to surmise she was probably older than she looked. But her brown eyes never lost their sparkle. She didn’t say much, and didn’t need to. We didn’t need to have long talks. We just enjoyed being together. I was gone for much of the time, working 3 hours away during the week and coming home most weekends.

Always excited to see me, she never once nagged me or talked back. I can’t say she always did what I asked or always listened to me. But she did exactly that most of the time. All she ever wanted was my love. She accepted me just the way I was. Not perfect. Just me. She never thought about trying to change me. To her somehow I was perfect. As she was to me.

Today as she laid her head in my lap and I watched the sparkle in her eyes go out as she quietly exhaled her last breath, I wept. She finally succumbed to complications of a uterine tumor. A tumor which had grown undetected and spread so far there was no surgical option. We both knew the eventual outcome, and never had to discuss it. It is what it is, and no amount of hope or change could alter the end. Being alive is always a terminal condition. Today I said goodbye to my friend and companion for the last 9 years, my 13 year old Greyhound. “Forever”. Goodbye. I’ll see you again. And I hope they have plenty of rabbits for you to catch. Goodbye, and run fast. You were so beautiful when you ran. I miss you already.

cb12 02-26-2011 04:57 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful companion to you.

suki44883 02-26-2011 05:00 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no love so unconditional as that of a beloved pet.

brokenheartfool 02-26-2011 05:05 PM

I know...it's so hard. I was depressed and cried over my mean demanding princess cat for a week. Who would have thought I would have cried over that demanding anti-social cat that much?
That nearly unconditional love, as long as she was getting what she wanted...I miss her still almost 2 years later.

KerBearz 02-26-2011 05:09 PM

I'm sorry too, zrx. It's tough to lose a friend.

chicory 02-26-2011 05:10 PM

ZRX,

What a beautiful and touching tribute to your dearest friend, Forever. I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye.
It must have been such a joy having her in your life. And you were here everything, I am sure.


May she rest sweetly, and visit you often in your dreams.

hugs
chicory

Freedom1990 02-26-2011 05:11 PM

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know how special greyhounds are...my current boy is the third one I've had since I fell in love with the breed. :hug:

LexieCat 02-26-2011 05:17 PM

So sorry for the loss of your friend.

Hugs,

StarCat 02-26-2011 05:40 PM

zrx,
I am sorry for your loss.
Nothing seems adequate enough to say, to mourn such a close friend as a beloved pet.
I am glad the two of you had each other for the last 9 years.

AlcoholicLove 02-26-2011 05:51 PM

I'm so sad for you..
There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog......
Nothing.

FindingPeace1 02-26-2011 07:06 PM

That made me cry, i love my own dog soooo much.
Sorry for your loss.
This is another opportunity to practice letting go.
May your pup find peace in the next realm.
Hugs, peace

Linkmeister 02-26-2011 07:15 PM

What a beautiful tribute to a very special, beloved girl.

I lost my special girl three years ago and even though I have another dog, that loss is still hard to bear.

She is my guardian angel, watching over me and my big, silly boy today and always.

Your girl has found peace over the Rainbow Bridge, she is pain-free, chasing rabbits and there with all of our beloved pets who have crossed the bridge before her.

Love and Special Hugs.....

tjp613 02-26-2011 07:18 PM

She'll be waiting for you at the bridge. No worries. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling now. :(

theuncertainty 02-27-2011 01:33 AM

I'm so sorry, ZRX.

Stimmed 02-27-2011 01:56 AM

A well wrote dedication to a good friend.

Sorry for your loss ZRX.

Impurrfect 02-27-2011 02:21 AM

(((zrx))) - what a beautiful tribute to your beloved (((Forever))). I'm sorry for the pain you are going through...have been with it a few times with my furbabies, and the grief is real. The Rainbow Bridge has always helped me, and I've shared it with friends who have also lost their "furry family member".

She left this life with her head in the lap of the true love of her life.

Please know that we are here for you, if you want to talk more.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

bookwyrm 02-27-2011 02:24 AM

I'm so sorry... :hug:

NTurn 02-27-2011 02:44 AM

:c020: so sad, but beautiful tribute ..... I am sorry.

TakingCharge999 02-27-2011 09:30 AM

I am sorry for your loss, zrx :( thanks for sharing about your beloved pet. I believe pets come for us when our own time comes. I believe you 2 will be reunited in a much better place. ((Hugs))

Tuffgirl 02-27-2011 09:41 AM

Z, my heart breaks for you, sitting here with my old girl at my feet. So sorry for your loss. I pray you find a little peace today.
~T


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