Have you ever felt like you "lost it"?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Have you ever felt like you "lost it"?
I'm the responsible one.
I just sent the check to the landlady for my six week codie rehab--a six-week winter cottage on the beach.
My work week was really tough--traveling to three cities, little sleep, hard work, no downtime.
AH happy to pick me up.
AH had NOTHING to drink all week, but he picked me up wasted.
I lost it. I admit it.
I TRIED to stay detached but went beserk when he did his deflecting thing--trying to blame me for stuff.
I was SO SO SO frustrated that I went into my home office, and literally yelled out loud--a long, strong AAAHHHHHH--as loudly as I could.
Maybe I felt able to let loose because I am so close to moving out--if so, wow. I fear to think about how much I've been repressing.
This is bad, but maybe it's good. In any case, how good can it be when being on the road working your tail off all week long with no downtime is infinitely more comforting than coming home.
I just sent the check to the landlady for my six week codie rehab--a six-week winter cottage on the beach.
My work week was really tough--traveling to three cities, little sleep, hard work, no downtime.
AH happy to pick me up.
AH had NOTHING to drink all week, but he picked me up wasted.
I lost it. I admit it.
I TRIED to stay detached but went beserk when he did his deflecting thing--trying to blame me for stuff.
I was SO SO SO frustrated that I went into my home office, and literally yelled out loud--a long, strong AAAHHHHHH--as loudly as I could.
Maybe I felt able to let loose because I am so close to moving out--if so, wow. I fear to think about how much I've been repressing.
This is bad, but maybe it's good. In any case, how good can it be when being on the road working your tail off all week long with no downtime is infinitely more comforting than coming home.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
PERSONALLY.. my recovery has been what can only be described as sublimely perfect..I never so much as react to anything anymore..a perfect straight line from hot mess to FULLY RECOVERED.. I only come on here to be a role model for the rest of you..I'm that much of a giver...
PS..If my insurance covers it can I come to your codie rehab?
PS..If my insurance covers it can I come to your codie rehab?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Two nights ago. I am over my embarrassment to admit to it tonight. Went to the old house to pick up my mail and a few little items...walked in the front door and my RAH MOVED MY TABLE! And what's worse, he bought a cheap a$$ one to replace my hand-finished solid cherry table that took me 3 weeks to refinish myself. I was mad, then weirded-out, then sad, then burst into tears and ran back out to my car and sat for about 5 minutes. Then I went back in and apologized. He told me he moved my cherry table because he was worried the dog too spastic and was banging around that area too much and he didn't want it to be ruined, so he tucked it in my daughters' bedroom (which he did, nicely).
Shoot. Lost it. And he wasn't even drinking. I was able to redeem myself a little while later by telling him "just don't touch my junk, man" and he laughed.
Sometimes we lose it. Sometimes it is for very valid reasons (like yours - I would also be livid). Sometimes for very irrational triggers (like mine) that seem rather silly but at the same time, seem so significant!
Ahhhh...the joys of being human (and female, for me).
Now, can I also throw in my envy at your beach house?! Awesome! And six weeks is perfect - I thought the first 3 weeks away were hell on earth; then had a sudden shift in perspective and wow - the last 5 have been pretty good. Enjoy!!!
Shoot. Lost it. And he wasn't even drinking. I was able to redeem myself a little while later by telling him "just don't touch my junk, man" and he laughed.
Sometimes we lose it. Sometimes it is for very valid reasons (like yours - I would also be livid). Sometimes for very irrational triggers (like mine) that seem rather silly but at the same time, seem so significant!
Ahhhh...the joys of being human (and female, for me).
Now, can I also throw in my envy at your beach house?! Awesome! And six weeks is perfect - I thought the first 3 weeks away were hell on earth; then had a sudden shift in perspective and wow - the last 5 have been pretty good. Enjoy!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 132
Yes, we definately all lose it! For me I go off like a volcano once every 5 yrs.
You can only keep stuffing so much inside until eventually you have to blow!
I'm so happy for your get away. It sounds like just what you need, and certainly deserve.
You can only keep stuffing so much inside until eventually you have to blow!
I'm so happy for your get away. It sounds like just what you need, and certainly deserve.
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Originally Posted by SoloMio 
Thanks for the support, all! Feeling a little better now.
Codie Cottage Rehab starts on Monday! Wish you all could come!
Codie Cottage Rehab starts on Monday! Wish you all could come!
It's beautiful!
And so are you.
That looks like a perfect place to get to know yourself again.
Have fun!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Is it just me - or does this look just like the house from Top Gun that Kelly McGillis' character lived in and Maverick pulled up on the side on his motorcycle, knocked on the door and then peeked in the window next to the door?
I am so envious - my only travel coming up is to several rural villages in remote Alaska - and one trip was canceled already because of storms. I am ready for some warmer weather and sunshine.
I am so envious - my only travel coming up is to several rural villages in remote Alaska - and one trip was canceled already because of storms. I am ready for some warmer weather and sunshine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 175
I am so happy for you to get away and so jealous at the same time. I am so feeling like escaping right now and can't. I know the feeling of the blow up and one is definatly coming for me I can feel it. I just let it flow and let it out. I know there have been times when I have had my scream in my car that people around me must have thought I was insane.
I hope you have a fantastic retreat and it is all that you want it to be
I hope you have a fantastic retreat and it is all that you want it to be
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Thanks so much, all....
It's been interesting to me to observe that this has not been the first time that he stopped drinking when I was on business travel and then completely fell off the wagon when I came home.
It is also interesting to note that when I asked him why this is, twice he said it's because when I'm gone, it's his job to keep things together (the house, the dog, his brother next door, etc.), and when I come home he can let loose.
So, I really feel that by leaving (which has been such a horrendous push-me-pull-you experience this weekend for me), I'm not only doing myself a favor, but him as well. I have not yet told him, and I'm really pretty anxious about that part, but once I get past that, I think all's well.
I've just gotten a couple of Melodie Beattie books for my Kindle to read while I'm there--obviously I need them.
It's been interesting to me to observe that this has not been the first time that he stopped drinking when I was on business travel and then completely fell off the wagon when I came home.
It is also interesting to note that when I asked him why this is, twice he said it's because when I'm gone, it's his job to keep things together (the house, the dog, his brother next door, etc.), and when I come home he can let loose.
So, I really feel that by leaving (which has been such a horrendous push-me-pull-you experience this weekend for me), I'm not only doing myself a favor, but him as well. I have not yet told him, and I'm really pretty anxious about that part, but once I get past that, I think all's well.
I've just gotten a couple of Melodie Beattie books for my Kindle to read while I'm there--obviously I need them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I never lost it while we were still together. I just about wrecked my physical health by keeping it all inside, though. Which I wouldn't recommend. I'm still working on that recovery as well.
I lost it after I left, when he wouldn't accept my reasons for leaving -- kept saying basically, "I don't like that answer, give me another one" and the only one he would have accepted would have been "I am a bad evil woman and that's why I left you." I lost it and sent him a long e-mail detailing just a fraction of my reasons. In terms so rude and direct he must have thought I had had a brain transplant.
I lost it after I left, when he wouldn't accept my reasons for leaving -- kept saying basically, "I don't like that answer, give me another one" and the only one he would have accepted would have been "I am a bad evil woman and that's why I left you." I lost it and sent him a long e-mail detailing just a fraction of my reasons. In terms so rude and direct he must have thought I had had a brain transplant.
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