OT - not feeling good enough for dream job?
 

I have learned that a lot behaviors I have put up with ex was because of an underlying feeling of unworthiness (on the surface I don't feel so bad so it was hard to figure out).

I am interviewing for my dream job and am convinced that I will not get it, or that I don't deserve it, or they will find out that I am not as good as they think on the surface.

Anyone feel this way in other areas outside of relationships??

UGH!!!

Often
 

And from being in Alanon for eight years, I can also tell you I've heard many people share the same thing many times. Perfectly normal in my opinion.

Now ignore it. You deserve the damn job. :a043:

Good luck!

Cyranoak

LOL! I have a post of about 2 days ago about just that.
I am working on having the encouraging voice talk me through my terror. :)
Or post here and WE'LL tell you you're fabulous!!

Just found this (coincidentally) online:
All human beings will have moments of pain and suffering. This includes experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions, including intense, potentially disturbing states such as panic attacks, and a range of evaluative thoughts including self-doubts about the ability to perform in a particular situation and feeling that one should/ought to be better or present oneself more favorably. The content and form of these events are part of being human and living in the present moment; they are not necessarily problematic or dysfunctional (e.g., thoughts such as I am a loser or I am a banana are just thoughts). Moreover, taking action toward valued goals requires contact with a full range of emotional content, some of it quite painful.

That is comforting...and yet...I am a banana? LOL!

gns I think its normal!! you are interviewing for it anyway, so those fears or feelings are not getting in the way.

Bad news is when they PREVENT you from taking any action. I won't say any names that remind me of this though... (but the person that comes to mind has a nickname starting with "Taking" and ending with "Charge999" lol)

Hopefully I'll learn from you!! let us know how it goes.

The only times I felt I wasn't going to get the job was when "I REALLY didn't want it" but it was too good to pass up for an interview.

I think I sabotaged my own interview because as good as that job seemed, I wasn't ready to dedicated myself at that time. I realized that after the interview after reflecting.

Yes.
 

A lot lately. I am searching for a job. I have not had one in two years and have not done an interview in 10 years.

Was I surprised. I am not looking for my "dream" job. I will do anything at this point. Otherwise, I can't pay the rent and will wind up moving back in with AH.

Would like the choice to do that to be mine, not desperation because I am not able to make the rent.

I then will be in control of my choice.

Anyhoo. I had a phone interview last week. When I hung up the phone, I curled up like a ball. I felt as though I had been slugged in the stomach. I couldn't move for a while.

I had only flubbed one question. I answered the questions with detail and aced all but the one, I felt. Yet when I got off, I felt as though I had completely blown it.

4 hours later, I got a call from that persons supervisor requesting a 2nd interview, which I accepted. Went to that interview and it was more relaxed, but I felt like I did well on it also. His response was very positive and my gut told me it was good. According, to this guy, if I am chosen, I will have 2 MORE INTERVIEWS to go through. Should know something by Monday.

But the last 2 days or so, I have convinced myself I'm out of the running.......

Had another job in the works. Passed interview, drug test, and 1st physical.

Went to do the 2nd physical 2 days ago, and have convinced myself for numerous reasons, I failed it even though I won't know til next week also.

Yea, I get the same feeling. It sucks........

Seems, the old saying is true. I am my own worst enemy.

The whole time that everything last year
that's so wonderful happened for me -

I kept waiting for 'it' to fall apart
and just be another illusion.

I had this suspicion in the back of my mind
that 'it' was just setting me up
for the most collosal (colassal?) HUMUNNGUS
disappointment yet.

SO yes it's 'normal' in it's odd damaged but repairing way.

If you want the job, go in there with ONLY the thoughts I REALLY WANT THIS JOB, I REALLY AM RIGHT FOR THIS JOB, and FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.

"I really want this job" reflects your true feelings, before the "buts" move in. Don't let the "buts" move in!

"I really am right for this job" reflects the facts about your qualifications--no evaluation needed.

"Fake it til you make it" reflects the fact that in the doing, you WILL make it. You'll be thinking you're faking it, but because you can do the job, and are doing the job, you're making it!

How do I know this? Take it from a seasoned self-saboteur, who messed up multiple opportunities, including my dream job and graduate school at NYU, because I felt like I wasn't good enough, but wound up breaking through and "making it" (at least doing pretty well) at the ripe age of 46.

Go for it!! Good luck!!!! Don't analyze yourself, and don't judge yourself, and tell yourself that your HP put you on this earth to do this!

Oh, absolutely. I have days when I don't even feel worthy of a shower. ;)

Just get that voice out of your head. I still have my RAXH's voice in my head sometimes, but I've learned to tell it to shut up, or to ignore it. Of course you're good enough. You just have to stare down those judgmental thoughts and tell them exactly where they can go.

You guys are so awesome!! It is so wonderful to know that I am not alone and that there is so much support on these forums.

SoloMio - I am so glad things worked out for you - very inspiring!

barb dwyer, cyranoak, findingpeace and takingcharge999 - thanks for understanding, sharing your stories and your support

kiki - hmm something to think about

passionfruit - Good luck to you - my thoughts and prayers are with you!!

lillimay - I completely understand that feeling!!

STINKING THINKING gets us all the time...so SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY!!

I call it "emotional ******"-- somehow I find myself thinking, "Oh, I can't leave, it would hurt him so much." Why is his hurt worth more that the hurt that I have?

dodecaphonic... very accurate term... !!

In a weird way, I like it when I start feeling like that, angry, and no longer so sad/victimized. It prompts me to action.

Take care!

For whatever reason, all the crap that can get me down in my personal life has never been able to infiltrate my professional world. When it's interview time, here's my secret:

"I am interviewing for my job."

I convince myself that it's already my job. From the very beginning, when I find the job that I want, in all of my communication with that employer, I tell myself in my head that it's already my job and I just need to remind them about that little oversight.