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Off the wagon...and here I go

Old 02-23-2011, 05:06 PM
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Off the wagon...and here I go

So... I'm great at detaching when my AH isn't drinking! Of course, sobriety didn't last very long, and neither did my detaching!

He just texted me, apologized, and said he had to drink tonight. Said he has really been trying, its so hard, quack, quack, quack, he wants to do better... you know the drill. I started out strong with "its your life"...but then moved into "ruin it if you want to," and it went downhill from there. Oops!

Normally, by now, I would be so angry that he's drinking again and not coming home that I would have all his stuff packed and by the door (I've done this two or three times in the past two months...silly codie). But, I'm trying not to be so reactive because I usually feel differently later when I've calmed down.

He's not drinking in front of me, not driving drunk, and won't come home and subject me to his stupid drunkenness, which I do appreciate. Honestly. Having a peaceful home is awesome. At the same time, though, I'm really not a fan of having a husband who doesn't come home at night. Should I just count my blessings that I don't have to deal with him being drunk?
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Old 02-23-2011, 05:30 PM
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Well, that's progress, right? Itty, bitty, baby steps progress? Good for him (no one kill me for saying this) for trying to respect you by not subjecting you to it anymore. I like this boundary - to me it makes sense that the A's can choose to drink if they want, but they can't drink around me or my family so go someplace else and do it.

But...I understand the "not having a husband" part. That's where I get tangled up in the "not fair" aspect of it all. I am still tangled. Do I want this life at all? Some days I do, other days I think forget this crap. I want a husband who can handle life and cope with stress and be ok with himself.

*BIG SIGH* its not an easy road, is it? But sounds like you are handling it better yourself. Good for you!
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