kptsj

My husband has been unemployed off and on for over a year. The first time he got fired he was so happy, said he needed some time to have fun. The next 6 months were absolutely the worst 6 months of my life. He stayed at friends house all day getting drunk. He drove me to work so he could have the car. He was gone all day. My adult daughter and her newborn were stuck at home with no vehicle. On weekends, holidays, etc. he would just take the car and go off and we would be stuck. Sometimes he left the car but purposely "accidentally took the keys". It's like he was in an alcoholic blackout for 6 months. Police were called to our house twice, he wrecked our car, got a DUI, etc. It was a living nightmare. He worked for about 3 months and got fired again. This time he is acting better, and the house isn't a time bomb. But, he still is a selfish #$^&***. There is plenty of housework and yardwork to be done. But, he just sits and drinks beer and gets to play with the grandbaby, who loves him to death. Grr, that burns my tail. But, I am just done with him. Today he said he is looking for work. Not because is worried about the many bills I can't pay or to help out and get the house fixed. No, he is bored out of his mind. Now, that he can't drive his "friends" are done with him. They have proven they are everything I have always said they were. I am just furious everyday. I was a stay at home mom and loved it. I had to go back to work because he went through 8 jobs in 2 years. I would love to stay at home and actually cook and clean, and take care of the business of running a family. I have detached alot. But, I have to keep that anger or I am afraid I will slip back into the denial. The Lundy book helps alot. I don't let AH manipulate me anymore and he is responsible for his self. I have taken several steps to get out. Just have to wait a little longer.
The baby is fine, AH behaves whenever he is around. Just acts like a jerk sometimes. The kids and I are all working on getting out. My daughter and the baby will be out in about 6 weeks. My youngest graduates in June and then is going into the Army. Then I will see where I want to go. We were so close to fulfilling our empty nest plan. But, then he had to let alcohol and drugs destroy his soul. Just having a bad day. It will get better.

blwninthewind

I am really sorry. This is no fun. I do think your on the right path.
My thoughts are with you.

theuncertainty

This last part of your post gives me so much hope and makes me so happy for you and your family. There's so much for you to look forward to: seeing your daughter and grandbaby out, your youngest in uniform, you deciding where you want to go. Is it inappropriate for me to say it's kind of exciting? I mean, I know the driving reason behind the changes may not be happy, and it might be a bit bittersweet for you, empty nest and all, but still so much to be proud of with your girls! And you!

I'm sorry it's rough right now. Hugs!

kptsj

Thanks, I am excited and scared about the near future. I am going to have alot happen in the space of about 3 months. But, I really feel like it is time to slam the door on this phase of my life. It may take a little longer than I like. But, I can almost taste a future where I don't have to deal with the petty drama all the time.