Blogs


Notices

Too detached? is it possible?

Old 02-15-2011, 03:33 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
Too detached? is it possible?

6+ months away from exah, and a phone call tonight reminded me of what it was like to make plans with him when intoxicated. He was drinking and i could tell by his voice, repeating things, the usual, we all know!

Now I've been missing him so much i thought we could give it another go. But...talking to him brought it all back like it was yesterday.
I honestly don't want to TRY TO RELATE to an active drinker. It's IMPOSSIBLE!

We have a date coming up.
Now I don't want to get into a position where I just want to SHOOT MYSELF.
Which is a thought if...nothing changes...nothing changes.
I could get back in...lightbulb moment here...

watch this: !!!
Pacino!
Anybody involved with an alcoholic needs to watch this, it's about 5 seconds long, so don't hesitate to click on it!
YouTube - Al Pacino The Godfather - Just When I Thought I Was Out
brokenheartfool is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to brokenheartfool For This Useful Post:
laurie6781 (02-15-2011), Live (02-15-2011), RollTide (02-16-2011), Tuffgirl (02-15-2011)
Old 02-15-2011, 04:30 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yeah, I've often thought of that line.

Why are you going out with him? I'm a little confused--the title of the thread was "too much detachment?"
LexieCat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
Live (02-15-2011)
Old 02-15-2011, 04:34 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
Too much detachment--as in having forgotten since I haven't lived with him for many months now.
Why go out with him--miss him, still love him.
He has been working on drinking less, but I think he's not considering giving it up entirely.
He called again and sounded sober after his dinner. It was a normal conversation.
brokenheartfool is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to brokenheartfool For This Useful Post:
Live (02-15-2011)
Old 02-15-2011, 05:14 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
hey, I find the memories of the craziness get really dimmed. But then one conversation with someone from my past (and I do still talk to some and also have family-far away family) who is sounding drunk...and I get the heebie jeebies big time. I always come away knowing I can never be close to active alcoholism in my life ever again.

I would wind up guilty of homicide or something. No tolerance for it left at all.
Live is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Live For This Useful Post:
StarCat (02-15-2011)
Old 02-15-2011, 05:42 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Detachment doesn't mean amnesia, lol.

I "worked on drinking less" for four and a half years. In the end, I wasn't drinking less at all.
LexieCat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
Verbena (02-15-2011)
Old 02-15-2011, 05:44 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
Some things I am happier not remembering too well then! LMAO
Live is offline  
Old 02-15-2011, 06:51 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 195
Maybe too much attachment to the illusion of a good thing whether that be a kind word, kind gesture, etc. Active alcoholism is not a good thing.
24Years is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to 24Years For This Useful Post:
Live (02-16-2011)
Old 02-16-2011, 11:20 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Shellcrusher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 821
What are you doing, BHF?
If you need a reminder of why you detached in the first place there may be better alternatives than meeting up with him again.

When I'm especially emotional and thinking back to good times and wondering if I can have them again, I either read my diary or write some more...

No conversation where you're listening for clues to his sobriety is actually a normal conversation. Who evaluates conversations based on another persons level of sobriety? Codies.
Shellcrusher is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Shellcrusher For This Useful Post:
hurting12 (02-16-2011), JustBeaches4me (02-16-2011), Live (02-16-2011)
Old 02-16-2011, 12:08 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
I find the memories of the craziness get really dimmed.
Amen to that. I have three good friends that I told, in the middle of the worst times, "if I ever get out of this alive, and I start forgetting -- please knock me upside the head with some stories that I've told you."

And they do. And I love them for it.

The thing is, once you're away from the madness, you start telling yourself stories in your mind about how everything is going to be different. But they're just that, stories. Like you said -- nothing changes if nothing changes.

Do you really want to go on that date?
lillamy is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
bookwyrm (02-17-2011), JustBeaches4me (02-16-2011), Live (02-16-2011)
Old 02-16-2011, 12:36 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
The good thing is..with distance, it sounds insane the minute we start to hear it, instead of trying to make sense of it as we used to.

That's true for me anyway.
Live is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:35 PM.