Exhausted & Sick of the ups & downs
 

I am new here. I just needed somewhere to express what I have been going through. My Mother is in the hospital, and has been for 2 weeks. She broke her ankle, and about 3 - 4 days after entering the hospital she began to detox. It was very difficult, then at the end of last week she seemed to be getting better. Sunday we had a good talk about her drinking, and I told her I was there to support her in trying to quit. I was hopeful for the first time in a long time that she might get help.. As the evening wore on she became more confused, but I thought it was just the morphine they had given her. Then last night she was completely out of sorts. She did not know where she was, or even remember that she had broken her ankle. I called her nurse this morning and she knows where she is, but is feeling highly anxious and thinks she needs to leave. I am completely exhaused from the last 2 weeks of the up & down of her detox. I'm at work, but can not focus at all, I just don't know what to do. How long can this up & down go on for? I just want to cry.

I don't know how long detox can take, but if she is in hospital then she is in good hands.
How much does she ordinarily drink ?

Also it may be more than just detox she is going thru. She may have aquired a urinary tract infection or bladder infection while in hospital. Both quite common and both can cause delirium and confusion in older adults. Older adult often become more confused in the evenings as well if they have any dementia. It is called the sundowner effect. Hopefully the doctors and staff at the hospital where she is being treated will give her the care she needs to recover quickly. She may be anxious for many reasons. Maybe concerned about facing her future and any possible disabilities. Also the hospital environment itself can sometimes be distressing.
It might also be that the alcohol may have been disguising other conditions.
Love her, let her know she is safe. I have been through all this with my own mother and I understand your pain. Take care.

I've observed her drinking a large bottel of gin in three days. When I say large I'm not sure exactly what the size is, but I believe it is the largest size you can by in the grocery store.

Hello Lady, and Welcome to SR!

You have found a great place for support, understanding, a place to vent and share and gain valuable information from other members.

My stepson is an addict/alcoholic. He nearly drank himself to death during the summer of '08. During his stay in the hospital, he went through some serious hallucinations (DTs), and then he also had a lot of anxiety, confusion, slight combativeness. He always called his father wondering when he was going to "come home".

If you haven't yet considered it, I highly recommend finding a local Al-Anon meeting. So many of us have found strength and support by going to face-to-face meetings.

Huge hugs and prayers for you and your mother!

HG

Well just talked to the hospital, they are not transfering her to a sub-acute nursing facility. I am so beyond frustrated with the hospital, as they have no answers for her continued bouts of confusion. She sounded less confused this morning, but still not 100% herslef. If this could be something other than detox, should they really be transfering her? This whole situation is just making me sick.

I've grown a bit cynical with hospitals in recent years. I usually come away from the experience feeling like their goal is to stabilize and discharge the patient, not to heal. How much of your mom's drinking history has been shared with the medical staff? I wouldn't assume that she volunteered anything on her own.

Not or now?

The medical detox is most likely over. She is safe to leave the hospital in that regard but not sure about the confusion? I hope you mean she is now being transferred to a nursing facility.

I know from experience with my MIL that confusion and anxiety are extremely difficult and complex issues to manage. Difficult for everyone, them, the professionals, and the family. Addiction, age, medications, general health, crisis (like breaking an ankle), reactions to anesthesia if she had any, all play a roll for the elderly especially. I don't think the hospital is any better at addressing that issue then a nursing facility - less so probably. Is there a social worker or case manager assigned to her? If so they probably have 'care meetings' or something like that and the issue of detox and early recovery should be mentioned at that time. I don't know what resources might be available. IME you have to advocate strongly with both the facility and your mother. My MIL did not have forceful children. They did not challenge her and in the end, she paid the price. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about that though.

I don't know if I'd classify my MIL as an alcoholic but she did drink and when she quit drinking due to age and health issues her anxiety went up, and up, and up. As her mobility (pain) and health got worse, it went through the roof. It was a never ending cycle of anxiety, panic attacks, not being able to sleep, rebounding anxiety and insomnia from all the meds they were giving her. So difficult.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I did mean Now. She is probably already there. I hope you are right about them being better equipt to handel this. I know my mother did not tell them about her drinking, but as she began the DT's I did tell them.

It has just been frustrating, because each new floor, new nurse or new doctor seems to have no idea about the drinking.

I think they will be better able to handle her ccl.
I am glad you told them about her alcoholism.
And, yes, I know from personal experience that you will have to tell everyone.
It seems that would be information everyone would share, but to be sure, tell everyone.

Beth

I am sorry your mother is so ill and you are so stressed about it.
I am thinking about you and sending positive thoughts your way.

That sounds like quite a lot to me. Hope things are beginning to settle for you and your Mom now. If she can be kept in the hospital longer I am thinking it would be beneficial for her. If that happens maybe she will stay dry once she gets home.
Take good care.
Cheryl

Don't know about how you feel about this...but she's in a rehab hospital for her ankle recovery? or is it a step down hospital for her alcohol dependence or have they decided that both are factors to keep her there?
I think it's an excellent oppty for you to bring a therapist to her...see if they have in house "friends of Bill W" meetings..etc...
she is far safer there than anywhere else...confusion or not.

I also agree that UTI's are a major factor when confusion suddenly comes into play in a person that has never had that kind of problems before. I would bet that it's NOT just detox, but an underlying problem or infection as well.

I think you need to ask the charge nurse on that unit to call in the social worker to talk w/ you and your mom about your options. That is what they get paid to do and often there are community options and resources that they are aware of that the general population (or normies) don't know about regarding addiction recovery.
the nurse can also help YOU...obtain help you need to care for your mom and to help heal ...of course Alnon is great. But there are other options too...why not see what is available to you both? It certainly can't hurt.