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its time to tell him how I feel

Old 02-13-2011, 09:13 AM
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its time to tell him how I feel

hello all F&F

Do I tell my rabf how Im feeling inside ?
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Old 02-13-2011, 09:26 AM
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Have you told him before? Would you just be repeating yourself? If not, then sure, tell him. Communication is very important in a relationship. However, just because you tell him doesn't mean anything is going to change. Our ultimate happiness comes from within, not because of what another person does or does not do.
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Old 02-13-2011, 04:20 PM
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I asked a similar question the other day,however i am no longer with my ex but i have come to realise that its best to sit and think what you want the outcome (of telling him how you feel) to be.

Ghirl xx
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Old 02-13-2011, 08:10 PM
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I had this thought the other day.. to I say certain things that I have been feeling.

I decided to look at what I would be gaining if I said what I was feeling at the time. If anything it would have just made him feel worse and that wasn't why I wanted to tell him.

I also thought long and hard about what my motive was to say what it was. My only motive was to vent and unconsciously I did want to make him feel bad so how is that fair? It wasn't so I didnt say anything.

Not sure exactly what it is you want to talk to him about but timing is also important.
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Old 02-13-2011, 10:06 PM
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Sherry, that's a hard one. I suppose it depends on what you want to talk about. When you've had a D&M (deep and meaningful) with him in the past, what has his reaction been? Did you feel heard? Understood? Did he validate your feelings, did he ignore them, did he throw them back in your face? What are you hoping to gain from the experience? My ex last night told me to talk to him. He said, smiling "Come on, come and talk to me about what's going on with your bleeding heart". I said to him I wasn't in the mood and at other times I've told him that I'm not going to answer his questions or talk to him about how I'm feeling because he throws it back in my face. Whatever the case is, if it makes you feel better to do so, then speak to him. If you can already see/sense he will reject/invalidate your feelings which will make you feel worse, think about whether you want to put yourself through that.
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