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Need some support regarding separation

Old 02-13-2011, 08:17 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by CoffeeLover View Post

I'm sure that I will be judged by many members of the church because I am not there for him, but I will just figure out how to pick up the pieces and carry on.
Yeah, see, I would have this kind of stinkin' thinkin' too. The members of your church are not privy to all of the information, nor should they be. This is between YOU and YOUR HP. This is not for the members of your church to pass judgement on, although many will. If for no other benefit, I find situations like this remind me to be non-judgemental because I rarely have all the facts.

One day at a time, sweetie and keep taking care of yourself and your children. You're doing good.
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:05 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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wow.
I just want to give you some serious hugs!

It takes real courage to do what your doing. You KNOW it's the right thing and your following through. I wish I could have your strength.

The guilt is terrible isn't it? I know I feel guilty even though I was offering my RAH a nice check, anything he wants out of the house...and the "better" car...
I didn't WANT to do any of that. It didn't feel right but I didn't know what else to do...he declined and is still here...making it "it is better for me to be here til U graduate in Aug" even though it's really better for HIM to be here til then.
I LET him get away w/ that excuse.... man do I wish I could do what your doing.

Big big hugs from me....you stay strong. You watch out for yourself and your kids...if you don't no one else will!
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:09 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I thought the church encouraged people not to judge others. If those people do judge you, then they're obviously not getting a lot out of their church.
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:28 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Try and follow your gut and head instead of your heart. I am separating too and it is very hard but I must stick to my guns or I will continue the dance. I know you do not think it is manipulation but they will say and do anything to keep us. I am dealing with that also.

PEACE
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Old 02-13-2011, 12:29 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
I thought the church encouraged people not to judge others. If those people do judge you, then they're obviously not getting a lot out of their church.
I think it's ingrained in us.
We don't want people to think badly of us.
I don't think it matters much. They believe that if you pray hard enough God can save any marriage. I actually believe that too. BUT while they pray for saving the marriage...those caught up in this kind of disease, and the pain of living w/ an A spouse...we spend a lot of time praying for the demise of the marriage.

I'm really at that point. I can name many people who are praying for me and my RAH...that we make it. But at what cost?
I don't want to turn this into what we personally believe our higher power can and cannot do ....
but
I gotta say. I don't think mine wants this for me or my kids. I pray daily for gratitude and acceptance. It's working for me.
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