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FreeingMyself 02-11-2011 08:03 AM

One BIG step...
So many of you know my story...the one thing I have had such a hard time doing is facing the fear of being alone and taking care of all 6 kids on my own...both physically (which I have done anyway), and financially. Well, my stbxah had been couch surfing with friends, I think because he believed that I wouldn't stick to what I said. Well, recently he starting telling me about getting his own place. I didn't say anything about it...just ok. He stalled about 3 weeks on this, and though I have some fear about this whole thing, I didn't waiver, I asked him what he needed for his new place...etc. So...I feel like this was a HUGE step for me, and I'm feeling a bit more of a finality. Of course there are no divorce papers yet, but I feel relieved. No longer when I talk tohim can he say he has no where to live. However, I know his new target will be at how him not being here has changed the relationship he has with his 2 children. He pulled this this morning briefly, my 2 year old is in a mood and she wouldn't really respond to him (obviously my maybe that she's 2) anyway, so as he was leaving he yelled down the steps goodbye and took off out the door! She was running up the steps to give him a kiss, and I told him that as he ran out, she got upstairs and was fussing cause he left. I told him that out the door, and he left anyway. He is going to hurt her emotionally as she grows up and I am going to have to figure out how to help her deal with that!! I just don't get him!! Abusive to me sure...but I never want her to experience that!! Well, instead of focusing on this, I am going to enjoy my one success for now....and will work toward more!!

lc1972 02-11-2011 08:21 AM

Hello and congratulations/kudos to you on your strength

I am not sure what your financial situation is or what kind of health insurance you have, but there are counselors that deal with these issues even in young children. They involve you in the process to help you at home also. Using certain techniques and such so that your children can grow emotionally.

Sending hugs and prayers your way

StarCat 02-11-2011 08:36 AM

I am so happy for you!
You are sticking to your boundaries, and little by little it's paying off.
You are proving to yourself that you are a strong person, and you can do it!

FreeingMyself 02-11-2011 08:52 AM

lc-I am a school teacher in a good district so I have good insurance and decent pay (and time off with the kids :)), I will look into that.
Thank you both for your k ind words!

LexieCat 02-11-2011 09:10 AM

Sounds like you are doing GREAT. Keep up the good work! Life gets better, we get better!

gerryP 02-11-2011 03:58 PM

Hey FM,

Sounds Great!

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