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Are all alcoholics abusive to others?

Old 10-11-2012, 12:17 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Katiekate View Post
The addicted brain, by it's desire to simply survive, is abusive.

Addicts take hostages, hostage taking is abuse.
I second that in A second.
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Old 10-11-2012, 12:38 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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My AH is not verbally or physically abusive. The couple of times he was on the edge of being verbally abusive was during very heated arguments while he was loaded. Our relationship problem was all the lying and manipulation that went into him protecting his addiction, the lies he told me, himself, and his treatment team. It was also all the empty and broken promises.

You ask whether alcoholics are inherently "abusive" and you're going to get a lot of answers. No, "all" alcoholics aren't abusive in the sense that you couldn't have him hauled away for assault or prove emotional abuse in court. But many of us spouses and SOs and children of alcoholics suffer very real trauma from living in close proximity to the addiction, and no, not all of it is physical.

If it feels like friends and family are exaggerating the effects of addiction on their lives, or that you're being told you're exaggerating the effects of another's addiction on your life, well, my signature quote is there for a reason. People deny and minimize their bad behavior because it's difficult to face the pain you've caused another person.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:10 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I get so tired of these questions.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:40 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Katiekate View Post

I'm pretty clear on this, not one active addict ever added anything positive to my life.
I think this takes it a wee bit too far.
Never and nothing are words that I think to be dangerous when talking about fellow humans.

Even simply to reverse it, active addicts are a reminder to me why not to go back.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:59 PM
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Even simply to reverse it, active addicts are a reminder to me why not to go back.
I personally find it extremely difficult to be grateful for being abused.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by DoubleBarrel View Post
I think this takes it a wee bit too far.
Never and nothing are words that I think to be dangerous when talking about fellow humans.

Even simply to reverse it, active addicts are a reminder to me why not to go back.
This has simply been my experience to date.

I have a ton of compassion for addicts and alcoholics, tons. To the point of being tormented. Many of the people I love and care about are tied up in addiction, I am simply trying to break my codependent sickness, it is heart breaking to walk away. This has now filtered down to my own mother, who by the way has no problem what so ever with her drinking, or her abuse toward her daughter.

I'm pretty clear.
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