Ways to find constancy
 

Last night, while chatting with my AH, with whom I am separated currently, we were talking about the dog.
He said, "It seems like she brings you happiness."
I responded, "I appreciate her constancy. She's stable. Her morning mood is the same every day. She gets me walking, running, skiing or biking every morning at the same time every day. Her attitude upon seeing me at the end of the day is the same every day. That brings much stability to my life."

It wasn't until this morning that I realized how true that is and deep that is! My AH is wonderful AND can be moody.
Right now, in my life, I am really appreciating the peace that comes from that stability.

What brings you constancy, stability and peace?:flame:

peace

My children, my hobbies, my work, my friends. If not for the inconsistancies of the A home I would not have set out to find serenity in these.

Thank you for the post. Have a peaceful day, and be blessed.

My dog brings me constancy and love.
Unconditional, stinky breath love.
She is my best friend, and listens to me grumble about going outside in frigid weather.
I almost think she tries to hurry too.

My daughter is becoming constant and more even tempered.
It is a wonderful thing to be able to enjoy her sober and happy.
That is a blessing.

Beth

I think about that when I think of the greatest gift my stepfather gave me from the time I was 12 to when I left for college--he got up and went to work at the same time. He came home every evening at the same time.

Most people take that simple routine for granted, but it was the most precious gift I got after my mom kicked my dad out and married my stepfather.

Similarly, when our family was really tempest-tossed with alcoholism, I reluctantly took what I thought was a boring, crummy job. But, I had to be there in the morning, I knew what was expected of me, I did it, and I came home at night. So, work provides stability and constancy.

Now, I'm trying to work on inward stability, so that I can maintain that calm even if outside forces are swirling. In the meantime, my kids and dog also ground me, as others have said.

Just getting older grounds me. Frankly, from my experience, youth is overrated.

Still trying to figure out what this is for my life, so I find this post very timely. Don't have much else to add, sorry.....

THese are great, everyone! Thanks! Solomio - this is especially striking to me.
I so easily forget I can find it within. And in truth, I am the one that gets up at 6 every day to walk that dog, so I am creating my own regulation. :)
I also agree that age has been nothing but a gift. It is the perspective that I so value. I suffered from terminal uniqueness syndrome to the enth degree! That created much drama and angst and suffering that I don't need today.

You all bring me stability, too!

dogs and children and work. I am so grateful for these things. Knowing what to expect is such a blessing.

My dog gives me the constancy in my life-from the time I get up till I go to bed.

He is set in his routines - sleeping in the morning, our daily walks, playtime, snuggle time and the most important time for him-dinner time. This gives me the consistency I need and it shows ABF that consistency and responsibility go hand in hand.

After all, My pup can't walk or feed himself-I am responsible for that. I'll admit there were times that I shirked those responsibilities for ABF and his issues but no more. He is responsible for himself while I am responsible for myself and puppy dog.

Throughout his short life, my boy has been there for me - never wavering, always ready with a tailwag, a shoulder to lean on, always unconditional love and acceptance. He has seen me through some of the worst times of my life and the best.

Along with my furry child, I am working on on-line courses at home so I have to set a routine there. That gives me more consistency and responsibility because I have a goal in mind and in order to reach that goal, I have to slog through the courses. That, coupled with volunteer work once a week, has put the structure in my life I need.

For me, structure equals serenity and peace. Of course there will be bumps in the road, but knowing that I have a routine, consistency helps me to deal with the roadblocks.

My cats, myself, my courses and the gym. I depend on no one anymore and expect little and I feel consistant. Sad but true!

Yay for this post !

My cat gives me constancy and consistency too and that helps make the days seem more normal, if that is possible.

My cat also finds pleasure in the smallest things. A beam of sunlight on the dining room table or a new box or plastic bag...

I love my kitten, Peaches, for the same reason.

She's very accommodating as far as how late I sleep, but she's learned what times I usually wake up so when I try to sleep in she comes in and reminds me of what time it is (usually by sitting on the pillow and licking my cheek, then a series of happy hello meows when she realizes I'm awake). Then she'll curl up next to me and purr her little heart out if I decide to keep sleeping.
She's actually been making it easier for me to get out of bed and get to work on time, which is something I've been having a problem with.

I am also finally starting to reorganize the apartment, something I kept putting off, first because of XABF's things and packing them, and then because I "didn't feel like it".
Cleaning the closets are fun, now, though... She's not generally allowed in the closets, so she's just an excited happy ball of fur to keep me company.

She also motivated me to finally take down the Christmas Tree.

My job. Going to sleep at the same time every night. Getting up early in the morning, every morning. Avoiding and eliminating toxic people from my life.

Great thread FindingPeace, thanks for sharing.

Yeah, FindingPeace,
this forum brings me much stability and constancy.
it is here everyday.
i learn something everyday.
my friends are here all over the world.
watch out scotland and oz, i am coming your way.

something wicked this way comes!
bwahahahahaha.

Beth

starcat,
i am sorry for the hijack, but it is sort of on the constancy plane.
why is there a decoration that looks like a tux?
this will explain something about you that i would like to know.
lovely kitty.

Work and my morning shaves give me stability.

Beth and StarCat, it looks like a Barbie tux.

It does, doesn't it? It's not, though.

XABF used to always tie things onto packages at Christmas. The bigger ornaments on the tree are ones that were on my packages - except the tux.

I tied the tux on his package last year at Christmas. He owned his own tuxedo, and wore it Valentine's Day that year when we went to see a Duprees concert. He looked so handsome, in his tux, and he was the only guy in the whole theater not wearing jeans. A lot of husbands got a talking to, especially since he'd also bought me flowers to wear on my wrist. I wanted to remember that night, and also drop a hint that he should do it again. (Plus he had tied a "little black dress" to one of mine the year before.)

He used to always buy me flowers, to the point he and the flower shop owner were on first name basis, he got a 20% discount on anything he bought (since he went so often), and he always specified exactly what he wanted. They were always gorgeous.

Too bad there was an abusive, unstable, self-absorbed, chauvinistic alcoholic hiding behind the flowers and under the tuxedo.

I prefer the kitten. <3