What's a Loser?
 

I'm just curious philosophically. When I hear people talk about people who are on drugs everyday or drunk everyday, sometimes they call them "losers." What's a loser to you? And why the term? Is it because they don't care about others? Because sometimes their lives aren't going anywhere? Is it because you can't talk to them?

What would you call them, winners?

Hahahaha.

I guess I mean sometimes I see that as people who are lost, people who have a problem, etc. So sometimes it's weird to me to hear that term.

I would call a loser someone who...has no integrity, no ambition, does not take responsibility, is close-minded, and has no respect for others. There's more, but those are the ones that immediately come to mind.

what suki said. lol

A loser to me is someone who is self-centered, doesn't accept responsibility for their own behavior, neglects the needs of others, is often disrespectful or abusive , and dumps things that are their responsibility onto others.

A loser to me is someone who has lost their sense of humanity. The lack the ability to see consequences, control their own behavior, work to keep anything/ any relationship intact, and their ability to see that they are doing any of this and fix it.

A loser is anyone from our past or present that let ANY OF US get away!!!!

loser = lazy of mind, body and will.

Lol Lexie...

Aren't most Americans on drugs every day?
100,000 Americans Die Each Year from Prescription Drugs, While Pharma Companies Get Rich | Personal Health | AlterNet

I call Corporate leaders and most politicians Losers. At the top of my list are:
Monsanto
Monsanto Stock Investment News
Peabody Coal,
Draining the life from the land | Earth Island Journal | Earth Island Institute
Bechtel and The World Bank
Bolivia's Water War Victory

because they knowingly hurt the people and the earth and push an image (lie) about their intentions and their repercussions, all though this is just the tip of the iceburg in my opinion.

Individuals can be ignored or kept away with strong boundaries. Corporations have become Government and profoundly impact our lives in ways most folks are unaware of-they also define the laws under which they rape and poisen the earth and the people
Corporate Crime Reporter

How's that for an early morning rant? :yuck:

Almost forgot, this SWAT team member-and all the others like him are in my books the biggest losers on the planet.
Police Kill Man In Drug Raid Gone Wrong (VIDEO)
But that's because I work with families who are victims of SWAT raids, victims of the rise of paramilitary raids
http://www.theoaklandpress.com/artic...mode=fullstory

tbh it's not a term I've used in a very long time (cultural difference?), here it's something that mostly high-school kids would say, to them it could mean anything, wrong shoes, who knows!

Why label them at all? It's just a word with no substance--we all have different definitions, and none of them are "right." Thoreau was considered a loser; so was Einstein--were they losers?

By the very nature of the word, "loser" means that you've lost something--and that you've caused that loss (think about a "lose-er" vs. a "lose-ee"--just like employer/employee). So if you go about life causing your own losses, whether it's prosperity, relationships, or whatever, maybe you are, objectively, a loser. I don't know.. just a thought.

To me, the choice of the word "loser" reflects an emotion of contempt within the issuing party. Contempt is one emotion that results in separation, separation being often a means of self-preservation.

It reflects to me more on the issuing party than the target. That the issuing party has reached a critical level of frustration, and is now in a crude self-preservation mode, separating.

Hopefully, with a little separation and reflection, the contempt can be worked into compassionate detachment.

JMHO

CLMI

I give it a B+, but that is only because you are probably still recovering.
Otherwise excellent rant.
You feeling better today lakota woman?

Beth

Yes, removing contempt from my life has freed me to compassionately observe.
No, I have not perfected this in myself, but I try very hard to see the person as a person.

CatLover, always got me thinking in higher terms.
:grouphug:

I think I missed the early morning rant. Was that deleted?

You loser, bum, nerd, jackass,
gay, drunk, ugly, dumb, useless,
wino, stupid and so on.

It doesn't hurt until someone
calls you these name.

The person who uses these
words to label another may
never had a kind word spoken
to them. They maybe misguided,
unloved. Maybe physically,
mentally, emotionally ill.

Words hurt when used inapropiately.

Just sharing my thoughts.

First I want to say that I liked what someone said about the word loser, being something someone lost, i.e. loser vs. losee. But that is my analytic side. My feeling side is thinking: Hmmm, used to call my exAB a loser very often when he was active. In fact, I'd add to it, "Why don't you have another one while you're at it, ya loser?" Luckily I found A-Alanon and don't say that anymore.

I think a loser is someone that has caused their own demise and can't see the forest for the trees to do a thing about it when the answer is so clearly in front of them. They basically won't help themselves. (I now know that is a/k/a an addict/alcoholic but I didn't know that then). That is what that word loser meant to me at the time (BA = before Al-Anon). That is why I said it to him time and again and yes, it was definitely in anger and contempt. Maybe as a way to "wake" him up. Didn't work. Glad I've stopped doing that. Definitely a little shamed that I ever did. Guess I'll put it on my amends list. :) I guess now I would say I use it in the form of losing a game but not so much as a direct insult to a person that I am so tempted to pass judgment on. I still do it sometimes but I'm trying really hard to be more aware when I do. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Peace,
Jen

I have grown to dislike that term a lot, it was used as a weapon by my ex.

'You think I'm a loser' She would say to me.

Which isn't the case at all, having come from that place-active alcoholism-I fully believe that recovering folk are lucky or blessed, choose the term you like.

Active alcoholics/addicts are the unfortunate ones. No winners or losers there.

I think if I had to define the term, I'd go with the above.

That said, it's a term my XABF used to use all the time (when referring to other people).
I do not remember using the term on anyone, ever, since about fourth grade.

I believe the term today is used to hurt, which means that when I hear someone call someone else a loser, I try to look at both sides of the equation. XABF used it to "offload" some of his own feeling on inadequacy, and blameshift to others, meaning the word was (usually) more a reflection on himself than his target.

In the context of alcoholism...
 

...I'd call a loser somebody who has given up trying to find and engage in recovery whether they are an alcoholic like my wife, or a codependent, controlling enabler like me. And even then I don't mean it in the pejorative. It's simply an accurate description of who they have become.

To me, everybody who has not given up the fight, regardless of the success they have or have had finding and maintaining sobriety, is not a loser. In this fight I believe you haven't lost until you give up. What I admire the most about my wife is that she has never given up. Ever. I love that.

Let me be clear that I believe the first step in both AA and Al-Anon is to accept that you have lost the war against alcohol or addiction. If that's what a loser is than I'm one too.

It is accepting this loss that opens you up to recovery, and by being open to recovery you, as far as I'm concerned, start to become a winner.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak

Life isn't a game to win or lose. We all leave the same way. So I guess these terms really mean nothing to me outside the context of playing games!

they don't get it
 

Exactly, to add I would say the 'loser' isn't smart enough to even realize these things until it's too late-if they are lucky. 'losers' simply don't get it.