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-   -   What's a Loser? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/219675-whats-loser.html)

goldengirl3 02-08-2011 05:10 PM

What's a Loser?
 
I'm just curious philosophically. When I hear people talk about people who are on drugs everyday or drunk everyday, sometimes they call them "losers." What's a loser to you? And why the term? Is it because they don't care about others? Because sometimes their lives aren't going anywhere? Is it because you can't talk to them?

LexieCat 02-08-2011 05:16 PM

What would you call them, winners?

goldengirl3 02-08-2011 05:27 PM


Originally Posted by LexieCat (Post 2858977)
What would you call them, winners?

Hahahaha.

I guess I mean sometimes I see that as people who are lost, people who have a problem, etc. So sometimes it's weird to me to hear that term.

suki44883 02-08-2011 05:37 PM

I would call a loser someone who...has no integrity, no ambition, does not take responsibility, is close-minded, and has no respect for others. There's more, but those are the ones that immediately come to mind.

wicked 02-08-2011 05:39 PM

what suki said. lol

onceuponatime2 02-08-2011 07:35 PM

A loser to me is someone who is self-centered, doesn't accept responsibility for their own behavior, neglects the needs of others, is often disrespectful or abusive , and dumps things that are their responsibility onto others.

crystal226 02-08-2011 08:14 PM

A loser to me is someone who has lost their sense of humanity. The lack the ability to see consequences, control their own behavior, work to keep anything/ any relationship intact, and their ability to see that they are doing any of this and fix it.

duqld1717 02-08-2011 08:51 PM

A loser is anyone from our past or present that let ANY OF US get away!!!!

myheadhurts 02-09-2011 01:48 AM

loser = lazy of mind, body and will.

Floss 02-09-2011 02:00 AM


Originally Posted by LexieCat (Post 2858977)
What would you call them, winners?


Lol Lexie...

transformyself 02-09-2011 05:14 AM

Aren't most Americans on drugs every day?
100,000 Americans Die Each Year from Prescription Drugs, While Pharma Companies Get Rich | Personal Health | AlterNet

I call Corporate leaders and most politicians Losers. At the top of my list are:
Monsanto
Monsanto Stock Investment News
Peabody Coal,
Draining the life from the land | Earth Island Journal | Earth Island Institute
Bechtel and The World Bank
Bolivia's Water War Victory

because they knowingly hurt the people and the earth and push an image (lie) about their intentions and their repercussions, all though this is just the tip of the iceburg in my opinion.

Individuals can be ignored or kept away with strong boundaries. Corporations have become Government and profoundly impact our lives in ways most folks are unaware of-they also define the laws under which they rape and poisen the earth and the people
Corporate Crime Reporter

How's that for an early morning rant? :yuck:

transformyself 02-09-2011 05:25 AM

Almost forgot, this SWAT team member-and all the others like him are in my books the biggest losers on the planet.
Police Kill Man In Drug Raid Gone Wrong (VIDEO)
But that's because I work with families who are victims of SWAT raids, victims of the rise of paramilitary raids
http://www.theoaklandpress.com/artic...mode=fullstory

JenT1968 02-09-2011 05:29 AM

tbh it's not a term I've used in a very long time (cultural difference?), here it's something that mostly high-school kids would say, to them it could mean anything, wrong shoes, who knows!

SoloMio 02-09-2011 06:13 AM

Why label them at all? It's just a word with no substance--we all have different definitions, and none of them are "right." Thoreau was considered a loser; so was Einstein--were they losers?

By the very nature of the word, "loser" means that you've lost something--and that you've caused that loss (think about a "lose-er" vs. a "lose-ee"--just like employer/employee). So if you go about life causing your own losses, whether it's prosperity, relationships, or whatever, maybe you are, objectively, a loser. I don't know.. just a thought.

catlovermi 02-09-2011 07:17 AM

To me, the choice of the word "loser" reflects an emotion of contempt within the issuing party. Contempt is one emotion that results in separation, separation being often a means of self-preservation.

It reflects to me more on the issuing party than the target. That the issuing party has reached a critical level of frustration, and is now in a crude self-preservation mode, separating.

Hopefully, with a little separation and reflection, the contempt can be worked into compassionate detachment.

JMHO

CLMI

wicked 02-09-2011 07:25 AM


How's that for an early morning rant?
I give it a B+, but that is only because you are probably still recovering.
Otherwise excellent rant.
You feeling better today lakota woman?

Beth


Hopefully, with a little separation and reflection, the contempt can be worked into compassionate detachment.
Yes, removing contempt from my life has freed me to compassionately observe.
No, I have not perfected this in myself, but I try very hard to see the person as a person.

CatLover, always got me thinking in higher terms.
:grouphug:

goldengirl3 02-09-2011 08:16 AM

I think I missed the early morning rant. Was that deleted?

aasharon90 02-09-2011 08:54 AM

You loser, bum, nerd, jackass,
gay, drunk, ugly, dumb, useless,
wino, stupid and so on.

It doesn't hurt until someone
calls you these name.

The person who uses these
words to label another may
never had a kind word spoken
to them. They maybe misguided,
unloved. Maybe physically,
mentally, emotionally ill.

Words hurt when used inapropiately.

Just sharing my thoughts.

sunshine321 02-09-2011 09:54 AM

First I want to say that I liked what someone said about the word loser, being something someone lost, i.e. loser vs. losee. But that is my analytic side. My feeling side is thinking: Hmmm, used to call my exAB a loser very often when he was active. In fact, I'd add to it, "Why don't you have another one while you're at it, ya loser?" Luckily I found A-Alanon and don't say that anymore.

I think a loser is someone that has caused their own demise and can't see the forest for the trees to do a thing about it when the answer is so clearly in front of them. They basically won't help themselves. (I now know that is a/k/a an addict/alcoholic but I didn't know that then). That is what that word loser meant to me at the time (BA = before Al-Anon). That is why I said it to him time and again and yes, it was definitely in anger and contempt. Maybe as a way to "wake" him up. Didn't work. Glad I've stopped doing that. Definitely a little shamed that I ever did. Guess I'll put it on my amends list. :) I guess now I would say I use it in the form of losing a game but not so much as a direct insult to a person that I am so tempted to pass judgment on. I still do it sometimes but I'm trying really hard to be more aware when I do. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Peace,
Jen

sailorjohn 02-09-2011 10:03 AM

I have grown to dislike that term a lot, it was used as a weapon by my ex.

'You think I'm a loser' She would say to me.

Which isn't the case at all, having come from that place-active alcoholism-I fully believe that recovering folk are lucky or blessed, choose the term you like.

Active alcoholics/addicts are the unfortunate ones. No winners or losers there.


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