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I really could use a shoulder to lean on right now

Old 02-06-2011, 05:35 PM
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Unhappy I really could use a shoulder to lean on right now

Could really use a shoulder to lean on or just talk to ....
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:40 PM
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What's up Sherry? You OK? (((hugs)))
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:46 PM
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im ok but this is so hard
the silence not communicating with each other . we just spoke on the phone
he told me he doesnt know how to act around people anymore. I told him just be yourself ... its me so you dont need to pretend to be someone your not... he doesnt know how to act around me anymore .It went on to say that he needs to figure things out for himself ...
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:49 PM
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What are you doing for yourself during this period? Were you No Contact from him before speaking with him?
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:04 PM
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If it helps, it at least sounds like he's being honest about his feeling like he doesn't know how to be around others. It may really be that he doesn't know who he is any more.
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:09 PM
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Im starting to do things for myself
Im planning on attending al-anon meeting tomorrow night, ive been reading self help books, and i bought a yoga mat today - that im going to start to do. Im also thinking about taking a part time course at night .
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:14 PM
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It's really difficult at first so I'm glad you're thinking about doing these things for yourself It does get easier. After a while of living alone and not being involved in a "relationship," I discovered I had strengths I never knew I had. And I learned that I loved living alone! The further away I got myself from other people's problems, the faster I realized how some people just create problems for themselves by choosing to continue their bad behavior. And the more peace and serenity that came into my life. Take good care of yourself. List your needs. Discover you.
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Old 02-06-2011, 07:02 PM
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People who are new to sobriety are kinda like little kids who don't quite know how to act or behave. They don't feel normal, they feel totally self-conscious. Sometimes they will say or do things that are a little inappropriate or they're afraid that they will.

Please try not to take it personally. It does sound like he's trying to be honest about how he feels--even that is very tough in the beginning.

I second the idea that you should try to keep your focus on you and just understand that he might not be totally "with it" for awhile. It will get better if he continues to stay sober, and especially if he is working his program.
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