I really could use a shoulder to lean on right now
I really could use a shoulder to lean on right now 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Toronto,Canada
Posts: 17
im ok but this is so hard
the silence not communicating with each other . we just spoke on the phone
he told me he doesnt know how to act around people anymore. I told him just be yourself ... its me so you dont need to pretend to be someone your not... he doesnt know how to act around me anymore .It went on to say that he needs to figure things out for himself ...
the silence not communicating with each other . we just spoke on the phone
he told me he doesnt know how to act around people anymore. I told him just be yourself ... its me so you dont need to pretend to be someone your not... he doesnt know how to act around me anymore .It went on to say that he needs to figure things out for himself ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Toronto,Canada
Posts: 17
Im starting to do things for myself
Im planning on attending al-anon meeting tomorrow night, ive been reading self help books, and i bought a yoga mat today - that im going to start to do. Im also thinking about taking a part time course at night .
Im planning on attending al-anon meeting tomorrow night, ive been reading self help books, and i bought a yoga mat today - that im going to start to do. Im also thinking about taking a part time course at night .
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
It's really difficult at first so I'm glad you're thinking about doing these things for yourself 
It does get easier. After a while of living alone and not being involved in a "relationship," I discovered I had strengths I never knew I had. And I learned that I loved living alone! The further away I got myself from other people's problems, the faster I realized how some people just create problems for themselves by choosing to continue their bad behavior. And the more peace and serenity that came into my life. Take good care of yourself. List your needs. Discover you.
It does get easier. After a while of living alone and not being involved in a "relationship," I discovered I had strengths I never knew I had. And I learned that I loved living alone! The further away I got myself from other people's problems, the faster I realized how some people just create problems for themselves by choosing to continue their bad behavior. And the more peace and serenity that came into my life. Take good care of yourself. List your needs. Discover you. A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
People who are new to sobriety are kinda like little kids who don't quite know how to act or behave. They don't feel normal, they feel totally self-conscious. Sometimes they will say or do things that are a little inappropriate or they're afraid that they will.
Please try not to take it personally. It does sound like he's trying to be honest about how he feels--even that is very tough in the beginning.
I second the idea that you should try to keep your focus on you and just understand that he might not be totally "with it" for awhile. It will get better if he continues to stay sober, and especially if he is working his program.
Please try not to take it personally. It does sound like he's trying to be honest about how he feels--even that is very tough in the beginning.
I second the idea that you should try to keep your focus on you and just understand that he might not be totally "with it" for awhile. It will get better if he continues to stay sober, and especially if he is working his program.
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