Blogs


Notices

Newbie to this website

Old 02-03-2011, 05:19 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The South
Posts: 105
Newbie to this website

I am a newbie to this website. However, I am not a newbie in dealing with drug addiction. Our 36 year old daughter has been an addict for about 15 years. My story is so similar to all the stories I have read. She has been in and out of rehab for years. All special occasions...birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, weddings were ruined. The sicker she became, the sicker the rest of our family became.

When you think it can't get any worse...it does. Right before we went out of town for our granddaughter's christening, (in December) she e-mailed me that she was pregnant. Her boyfriend is a drug addict and he physically abuses her. I wrote her that her Dad and I would not be responsible for raising her child. As it turned out, she was pregnant with twins. But, at 7 1/2 weeks she had a miscarriage. She came to our home during that time. My husband and I took care of her. In two weeks time, we made 3 trips to take her to the hospital. On one occasion, she said she had taken a lethal dosage of her antidepressants. In the ice , my husband rushed her to the hospital. However, her blood work proved this to be a lie. When she recovered from her miscarriage, we told her that she had to move out. She has done so. I have no idea where she is living.

She is a brilliant, beautiful woman with so much promise. But her disease has stripped her of everything. Addiction is such a cruel disease. Even when she was sober, I knew that her disease was doing "push ups" in her body.

In spite of being completely spent, I am still standing. I give all credit and Glory to my HP.

I am learning not to have expectations. But, I do have Hope!!!

We set boundaries for our daughter. We do not pay her bills, etc. However, last Thursday was a milestone for me. I wrote her that I loved her. I went on to write that I was distancing myself from her. I wrote her that I was going to work on my own health. And, that I was emotionally and physically going to detach from her. I requested that she not call us anymore. I requested that she would not send us anymore e-mails . I wrote..."please no more contact."

She has called and left several messages on my a/m telling me how horrible and crazy I am. She told me that "even though she is not doing drugs...she will probably go ahead and over dose." I know this is manipulation.

I am very thankful for the wisdom that I have developed through the years through al-anon, family counseling, books, and sites such as this one. However, I am still a "work in progress". Indeed, it is One Day at a Time. Many times, I relapse and fall back into my old behaviors.

I think I am in the final stage... acceptance. Either she will get sober or she will die. Recently, I wrote someone that when she was a little girl we sang a duet in church. She sang, " He made me something special. I'm the only one of a kind. God gave me a body and a bright, special mind. He has a special purpose that only I can find. For He made me something special. I'm the only one of a kind." I still believe that. When I was pregnant, I had to be bedridden for 9 months. When she was born, the cord was wrapped around her neck. It was choking the life out of her. God preserved her then. And, He will preserve her now. If not, I believe His holy angels will escort her into His Presence.

I am sorry that I have written so much. Thank you for allowing me to share with you.
Habit is offline  
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Habit For This Useful Post:
bookwyrm (02-04-2011), brokenheartfool (02-03-2011), chicory (02-03-2011), cmc (02-03-2011), jackien41 (02-04-2011), KerBearz (02-03-2011), Seren (02-03-2011), sojourner (02-03-2011), StarCat (02-04-2011), tallulah (02-03-2011), theuncertainty (02-03-2011), tjp613 (02-03-2011), Tuffgirl (02-03-2011), wicked (02-04-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 05:27 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Blog Entries: 2
It's not often I get choked.. but I am now. I don't know what to say.. except I think you are amazingly courageous.

TY for sharing Habit.

Tx
tallulah is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tallulah For This Useful Post:
bookwyrm (02-04-2011), brokenheartfool (02-03-2011), Habit (02-06-2011), wicked (02-04-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 05:28 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
That was a beautiful testament to your daughter. I am glad that you find comfort in this site. I do too. I have a 25 YO AS (addicted son) whom I have limited contact with. I basically had the same conversation with him that you did. If my son continues to use drugs and alcohol, I've got nothing for him. However, if he chooses to get help for that problem then I will help him in any way that I can. So he's pretty distant from me and most of the time does not return my phone calls. But that's okay. I know enough about this disease to not take that personally.

I'm glad you're also going to Alanon, reading books, etc. Keep coming back, because I bet you've got ESH (experience, strength, hope) to share with the "real" newbies and also because this is a great place for when you are looking for the same.

Sojourner
sojourner is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sojourner For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011), theuncertainty (02-03-2011), wicked (02-04-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 05:40 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
recoverywfaith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
My Prayers to you and your family

I know it takes courage to do what you are doing and to share; and will pray for you and your family.
recoverywfaith is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to recoverywfaith For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011), wicked (02-04-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 06:52 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
cmc
Member
 
cmc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Thankyou Habit for sharing your experience, strength and hope.

God preserved her then. And, He will preserve her now.
I'll agree with you on that....and will also say a prayer for her and your family.

Welcome to SR.
cmc is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to cmc For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011), wicked (02-04-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 07:08 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,605
Blog Entries: 8
Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to SR.

We set boundaries for our daughter. We do not pay her bills, etc. However, last Thursday was a milestone for me. I wrote her that I loved her. I went on to write that I was distancing myself from her. I wrote her that I was going to work on my own health. And, that I was emotionally and physically going to detach from her. I requested that she not call us anymore. I requested that she would not send us anymore e-mails . I wrote..."please no more contact."

She has called and left several messages on my a/m telling me how horrible and crazy I am. She told me that "even though she is not doing drugs...she will probably go ahead and over dose." I know this is manipulation.
We call this sort of manipulation "quacking" around here......I'm so glad that you recognize it for what it is and have learned to not take her words personally. It's the disease talking.

You, your family, and your daughter will be in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers, HG
Seren is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 07:15 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 15
I am so sorry for your pain
lizadeld is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to lizadeld For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 08:49 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
Good for you for knowing that you can't control her, cure her, and that you didn't cause it either.
You cannot carry this burden. It is not yours to carry, and you recognize that.
Hugs to you.
brokenheartfool is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to brokenheartfool For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011)
Old 02-03-2011, 08:52 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 4
Funny how today I needed to read something like this tonight.
Thank you for sharing your painful story, but one filled with strength and hope. You inspire me.
I can spend the rest of the evening with a little more peace.
Thank you and take good care.
T
Tuffgirl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Tuffgirl For This Useful Post:
Habit (02-06-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:40 AM.