|
Newbie to this website I am a newbie to this website. However, I am not a newbie in dealing with drug addiction. Our 36 year old daughter has been an addict for about 15 years. My story is so similar to all the stories I have read. She has been in and out of rehab for years. All special occasions...birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, weddings were ruined. The sicker she became, the sicker the rest of our family became. When you think it can't get any worse...it does. Right before we went out of town for our granddaughter's christening, (in December) she e-mailed me that she was pregnant. Her boyfriend is a drug addict and he physically abuses her. I wrote her that her Dad and I would not be responsible for raising her child. As it turned out, she was pregnant with twins. But, at 7 1/2 weeks she had a miscarriage. She came to our home during that time. My husband and I took care of her. In two weeks time, we made 3 trips to take her to the hospital. On one occasion, she said she had taken a lethal dosage of her antidepressants. In the ice , my husband rushed her to the hospital. However, her blood work proved this to be a lie. When she recovered from her miscarriage, we told her that she had to move out. She has done so. I have no idea where she is living. She is a brilliant, beautiful woman with so much promise. But her disease has stripped her of everything. Addiction is such a cruel disease. Even when she was sober, I knew that her disease was doing "push ups" in her body. In spite of being completely spent, I am still standing. I give all credit and Glory to my HP. I am learning not to have expectations. But, I do have Hope!!! We set boundaries for our daughter. We do not pay her bills, etc. However, last Thursday was a milestone for me. I wrote her that I loved her. I went on to write that I was distancing myself from her. I wrote her that I was going to work on my own health. And, that I was emotionally and physically going to detach from her. I requested that she not call us anymore. I requested that she would not send us anymore e-mails . I wrote..."please no more contact." She has called and left several messages on my a/m telling me how horrible and crazy I am. She told me that "even though she is not doing drugs...she will probably go ahead and over dose." I know this is manipulation. I am very thankful for the wisdom that I have developed through the years through al-anon, family counseling, books, and sites such as this one. However, I am still a "work in progress". Indeed, it is One Day at a Time. Many times, I relapse and fall back into my old behaviors. I think I am in the final stage... acceptance. Either she will get sober or she will die. Recently, I wrote someone that when she was a little girl we sang a duet in church. She sang, " He made me something special. I'm the only one of a kind. God gave me a body and a bright, special mind. He has a special purpose that only I can find. For He made me something special. I'm the only one of a kind." I still believe that. When I was pregnant, I had to be bedridden for 9 months. When she was born, the cord was wrapped around her neck. It was choking the life out of her. God preserved her then. And, He will preserve her now. If not, I believe His holy angels will escort her into His Presence. I am sorry that I have written so much. Thank you for allowing me to share with you. |
It's not often I get choked.. but I am now. I don't know what to say.. except I think you are amazingly courageous. TY for sharing Habit. Tx |
That was a beautiful testament to your daughter. I am glad that you find comfort in this site. I do too. I have a 25 YO AS (addicted son) whom I have limited contact with. I basically had the same conversation with him that you did. If my son continues to use drugs and alcohol, I've got nothing for him. However, if he chooses to get help for that problem then I will help him in any way that I can. So he's pretty distant from me and most of the time does not return my phone calls. But that's okay. I know enough about this disease to not take that personally. I'm glad you're also going to Alanon, reading books, etc. Keep coming back, because I bet you've got ESH (experience, strength, hope) to share with the "real" newbies and also because this is a great place for when you are looking for the same. Sojourner |
My Prayers to you and your family I know it takes courage to do what you are doing and to share; and will pray for you and your family. |
Thankyou Habit for sharing your experience, strength and hope. God preserved her then. And, He will preserve her now. Welcome to SR. |
Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to SR. We set boundaries for our daughter. We do not pay her bills, etc. However, last Thursday was a milestone for me. I wrote her that I loved her. I went on to write that I was distancing myself from her. I wrote her that I was going to work on my own health. And, that I was emotionally and physically going to detach from her. I requested that she not call us anymore. I requested that she would not send us anymore e-mails . I wrote..."please no more contact." She has called and left several messages on my a/m telling me how horrible and crazy I am. She told me that "even though she is not doing drugs...she will probably go ahead and over dose." I know this is manipulation. You, your family, and your daughter will be in my prayers. Hugs and prayers, HG |
I am so sorry for your pain |
Good for you for knowing that you can't control her, cure her, and that you didn't cause it either. You cannot carry this burden. It is not yours to carry, and you recognize that. Hugs to you. |
Funny how today I needed to read something like this tonight. Thank you for sharing your painful story, but one filled with strength and hope. You inspire me. I can spend the rest of the evening with a little more peace. Thank you and take good care. T |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:58 PM. |