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-   -   Set 1 massive goal. Keep it. Tell us about it. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/219282-set-1-massive-goal-keep-tell-us-about.html)

Shellcrusher 02-03-2011 12:42 PM

Set 1 massive goal. Keep it. Tell us about it.
 
Here's the deal with this thread. We all talk about doing something for ourselves. We're all in different stages of doing this and I realize that for many, including myself, this is a daily chore. We all talk about what we do that makes us feel good. Baths, shaving, listening to music, etc.

I want to tell you about a major goal I've made and I'm interested in what other people want to do. These are things you've never done before but always dreamed of doing.

For me, I wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. My goal is to learn how to play an acoustic guitar. I know nothing about them. So far, since setting this goal the other day, I've found a class. It's 6 months long and taught by someone who already does music classes for my son. I know her. Small world eh. I've sent her an email regarding the availability of an upcoming class. If it's open, my first class will be in April. So to refine this goal a bit. I will have completed a beginners course in acoustic guitar playing in 2011.

I suspect between now and then, I'll have saved enough money to buy a guitar and perhaps even a beginner book. Something to keep me entertained until class starts. I'll keep you posted and I'd like to hear from a few other people.

coyote21 02-03-2011 01:11 PM


Originally Posted by Shellcrusher (Post 2853439)
Here's the deal with this thread. We all talk about doing something for ourselves. We're all in different stages of doing this and I realize that for many, including myself, this is a daily chore. We all talk about what we do that makes us feel good. Baths, shaving, listening to music, etc.

I want to tell you about a major goal I've made and I'm interested in what other people want to do. These are things you've never done before but always dreamed of doing.

For me, I wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. My goal is to learn how to play an acoustic guitar. I know nothing about them. So far, since setting this goal the other day, I've found a class. It's 6 months long and taught by someone who already does music classes for my son. I know her. Small world eh. I've sent her an email regarding the availability of an upcoming class. If it's open, my first class will be in April. So to refine this goal a bit. I will have completed a beginners course in acoustic guitar playing in 2011.

I suspect between now and then, I'll have saved enough money to buy a guitar and perhaps even a beginner book. Something to keep me entertained until class starts. I'll keep you posted and I'd like to hear from a few other people.

I am typing this, and as I look over my shoulder to my left, I can see the TWO beautiful Yamaha acoustic guitars I purchased, one gently used off Craigslist, and one 3/4 size new, perfect for 9yo little girls, over a year ago.

I had the best of intentions, to do some father/daughter bonding. Bought a cd to teach ourselves. First session on the cd, about 10 minutes in, we looked at each other and agreed, "this is hard". Haven't picked them up since.

Maybe you will inspire me. Oh, BTW, DO NOT buy a new guitar, CL is FULL of like new ones for very little $$. Mine is beautiful, holds a tune great, $75 bucks, cause the kid bought a better one. I looked all over the net and found the same one from $150 up. So shop around.

Currently looking for a bicycle, I already KNOW how to do that!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

StarCat 02-03-2011 01:15 PM

What a great idea! I'll add my goals to this.
Maybe by posting here I can actually accomplish these.



I have set three giant goals for myself.

Pay Off My Debt. Due to XABF's spending habits, and me bailing him out all the time, I went from a completely paid-off college loan and a credit car that I paid in full to three maxed out credit cards, a furniture loan (from when I moved), and two loans (the maximum number allowed) from my work's 401(k) equivalent. I am making plans to pay these off, I figure I can be at least nearly debt free in two years, and so that is the goal I am giving to myself.
GOAL: Pay off all loans except my car by 1/1/13. Wish me luck!

Pilot's License. I have wanted one ever since I was little. I used to "borrow without returning" books from my neighbor across the street, who flew cargo planes all over the world. There's a flying club at work, and once I get a couple of these loans paid off, I intend to save up some extra money and go take some lessons. This was something I had all mapped out before I started dating XABF, and just like how I put the rest of my life on hold, I had decided to resign myself to never achieving this one.
GOAL: Begin pilot's lessons sometime in 2012, and finish up my pre-exam this year. (I purchased an online course three years ago, I hope it's still active.)

Publish My Book. This has been an ongoing thing since High School. It's a science fiction novel, I keep fluctuating between being really active writing it, then taking a giant break. My break this time had to do with working part time and still going to college full time, but I never picked it up once I had more free time.
GOAL: Publish this book before I'm on my deathbed, so at least I can have a nice picture of me on the inside "About the Author" page and not feel guilty that I'm lying. :lmao

vujade 02-03-2011 01:25 PM

I am going to choose one room in my house each month to completely clean, purge of [email protected] and organize. Years of living in unacceptable mental chaos has led to (at least for my comfort) living in unacceptable physical disorganization.

Last month I did my youngest son's room. This month, it is my room. I was going to do my oldest kiddo's room first but then I realized that I deserve a haven, not a laundry pit...and I come first. YAY!

ETA: Great post, Crusher! TY!

Tuffgirl 02-03-2011 01:43 PM

I am saving for a house of our own, since the one I left belonged to the RAH and my financial investment in the house didn't get to come with me when I left it.

My goal is to have enough by May 1st set aside for the down payment, and some extra to replace the furniture and appliances I gave up to move in with him after I sold my last house.

I never want to experience the feeling of being "homeless" again. I work too hard to face something like this!

Shellcrusher 02-03-2011 02:06 PM

Good stuff you guys. Accountability is important but more than that, writing your goal down makes a huge difference between those who accomplish them versus those who just talk about them.

I try to set goals using the SMART concept. I did a quick google search for any easy write up on this concept if you're not familiar with it. SAMRT

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Timely

Keep em coming and help me keep this post current. I think a little good forward thinking is needed among all our questions and troubles.

Anyone remember my old TGIF thread?

Summerpeach 02-03-2011 02:18 PM

To start my own private client base business as a Naturopath. I apprentice now as a practitioner, but need to gain more experience and then open my own business.

Right now, that's all I care about

barb dwyer 02-03-2011 02:35 PM

Already doing it.

I'm in school.

Goal this semester - Chancellor's List.

TakingCharge999 02-03-2011 02:42 PM

What is chancellor's list?

myheadhurts 02-03-2011 03:22 PM

to become a translator and go home.

Tally 02-03-2011 03:31 PM

My goal is to focus on what's really important for improving my life and self confidense and that is losing weight.

I joined a slimming group at new year and found a great weight loss forum and so far I've lost 16lbs in 4 weeks. I'm completely determined and focused and am feeling so much happier and healthier already. Still a way to go yet but I'm not phased at all. So that's my thing to stick to!

LexieCat 02-03-2011 05:06 PM

I am planning a small business to begin when I retire December first. It is a freelance writing and editing business--copywriting, brochures, web content, etc.

I have registered my business name, and am applying for my home-business permit. I had business cards printed up and have been giving them out. I got permission from my boss to begin the business now, so I can have some writing samples for my portfolio.

I will have to learn to make "cold calls" to potential clients without freaking out. I AM good at what I will be doing (I was a journalism major and a technical writer before I went to law school).

I am scared to death and extremely excited at the same time. I CAN DO THIS!!!

brokenheartfool 02-03-2011 08:00 PM

I was just thinking about this today! Goal setting!

After years of chaos and 7 months alone but constantly depressed, I set a few goals, and now this timely thread.
Two of mine match starcats!

1) In one year have my major debts paid off and be working on the school loan that I'm behind on.
2) Write my novel that I've recently started. (a lifelong goal--time to do it)
3) Attend to all my relationships that fell by the wayside during the dark years
4) Make healthy new friendships
5) Keep up the work on the most important goal of all--rediscovering and tweaking where needed on me.

Tuffgirl 02-03-2011 08:02 PM


Originally Posted by TakingCharge999 (Post 2853594)
What is chancellor's list?

A very high honor at a university - higher than a dean's list - usually means you have obtained a very high GPA - I think a 4.0 or higher which is straight A's. Way to go Barb!

But I also have to giggle - I remember the line from the Star Wars movie where Natalie Portman's character calls for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor something-or-other. Everything I see my university's Chancellor on campus, I want to say that to her so bad...!! Juvenile, eh?!

lillamy 02-03-2011 09:34 PM

Pay of debt is my biggie.
And it's definitely doable for me to be debt free by the end of the year. It will take working two jobs, but I will be able to do that AND go on vacation. :)

Verbena 02-03-2011 10:23 PM

1. I've set a goal to get more exercise. I'm working up to walking 40 minutes a day and I'm really enjoying it.

2. Have to loose 20 pounds. I'm down two pounds with 18 more to go. I'm really not on a diet as such. I'm just changing how I eat. It seems to be working. If it takes a year that's okay. I went to a health fair, got some screenings done and got a wake-up call.

3. And, my really fun goal is my women's craft group. Every monday I get together with several of my neighbors and we bring our mending, embroidery, crochet, knitting, scrapbooking stuff--or whatever else we do and visit and work on our projects for three hours. I want to do everything I can to keep this going. It's a lot of fun and we learn from each other. And, thanks to this time with friends, all the girls in my family are getting Mom-made birthday cards this year. They are decorated with lace and paper filigree.

FindingPeace1 02-03-2011 10:32 PM

* keep up with guitar lessons (and regular practice) through the year
* cook more meals (eat out less)
* plan ahead for fun things and invite others to join
* keep an open mind with going to therapy with my AH
* work as close to 40 hour/wk as possible (going under is okay)

That's not really one big goal...
I have a few, I guess! :)

JustBeaches4me 02-03-2011 10:36 PM

Start a massage therapy/esthetics business when I graduate in May.

Shellcrusher- you are right! Writing it down does make one more accountable to actually do something!! I'm terribly afraid to start a business, but I think I'm more afraid that I will drive myself crazy with the "What if"'s if I don't!! So, writing it down is one more step in the process...

Floss 02-04-2011 02:58 AM

Thanks Shellcrusher for this post...

1. Continue allowing myself time out to go to the beach and swim with the kids while it's still Summer.
2. Continue walking on days when it's not stinking hot.
3. Continue getting up every morning at 7am, no excuses.
(The above 3 are things I've been doing regularly for the last 3 weeks and they're big achievements for me).
4. Keep praying to God to mend my broken heart.
5. Learn to be easier on myself
6. For my 40th birthday, treat myself to a month long cleanse/detox which I've been wanting to do for years.
7. Pay off at least half of my credit card debt by the next financial year.

LexieCat 02-04-2011 05:02 AM


Originally Posted by JustBeaches4me (Post 2853974)
Start a massage therapy/esthetics business when I graduate in May.

Shellcrusher- you are right! Writing it down does make one more accountable to actually do something!! I'm terribly afraid to start a business, but I think I'm more afraid that I will drive myself crazy with the "What if"'s if I don't!! So, writing it down is one more step in the process...

Beaches, I got a couple of terrific books for home businesses: "Home Business Deductions: Keep What You Earn" and "Working for Yourself: Law & Taxes for Independent Contractors, Freelancers & Consultants", both by Stephen Fishman. I believe he also has a similar book for "professionals," which would seem to cover your massage business.

I happen to be a lawyer, myself, but tax and business stuff gets my head spinning, and these two books are VERY readable and helpful. I'm taking care of one step at a time so I won't screw myself out of any business tax deductions and so I can plan properly.


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