MissGuided

Hi Chelle! Sorry you are going through this...the realization of whats happening is the worst
Your mum and sister do not walk in your shoes! Dont even let them or anyone elses wishes factor into your decisions for YOU and YOUR children and YOUR life!!

And I think it is common for an alcoholic to drink in the midddle of the night. I think it depends on thier patterns. for instance my AH was more a day drinker and was normally asleep by 7 (oh yes i had a very fulfilling life!) so after 7 hours sleep of course he was awake and of course he wanted to drink:
'I cant sleep, it helps me sleep' QUACK!
'Theres nothing else to drink in here and I am thirsty' QUACKETY QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!

if this is only just started happening, he's progressing. I really hope he will get treatment soon. Hugs to you

smacked

Towards the 'end', I did it. I was so incredibly physically and mentally addicted to alcohol, I had to, or I'd go into withdrawal. Makes me physically ill even thinking of those days, luckily it was only a few times.. right before I practically died from alcohol poisoning.

You have lots of good info here. I respect that you honestly thought it was something to treat insomnia. If you couldn't sleep.. would you slam a 6 pack? Or does that seem downright weird and wrong to you?

I would imagine he's driving drunk to work if he's drinking all that liquor and then going to work. I woke up drunk as a skunk many times.. after not having drank for 8 or 9 hours. If you know that he is, you may want to consider contacting authorities before he causes and accident and/or injures someone and you're found liable because you knew he was driving drunk. (negligence). It sucks.. and it's sad.. but it's a choice he's made.

Alcoholism is progressive and ends in death, if left untreated. Period.

nodaybut2day

Had to repost this.

StarCat

Mine ALWAYS used to claim he needed alcohol to sleep.
His career with alcohol began when he left a fifth of Seagram's Seven next to his bed, would take "one sip" before sleeping - he claimed it helped him sleep through the night.
I don't know how true that was, because it was before I knew him, but I can say that most recently one shot of whiskey was enough for him to "sleep" for one hour - a real restless sleep that usually resulted in tying his sheets in a complete knot - and then he'd wake up and drink another shot so he could get a second hour.
That's a lot of whiskey in one night, and he was not fun to be around AT ALL in the morning.

Eventually, yes, he did start bringing whiskey to work. He'd slip those tiny 2-shot bottles in his pockets, and finish off 2 or 8 of them, depending upon how many excuses he found to drink that day.

Tuffgirl

My RAH did this same thing - he told me he was a "night owl" but really he was drinking until he went to sleep, but alcohol can cause insomnia (because when you PASS OUT, you are not SLEEPING) and he would be up within a few hours, drinking some more. Very odd, and very destructive and a sign of true alcoholism.

Chelle3

Thanks all, I knew this wasn't a good sign. I wish I didn't even keep track so I wouldn't know how much alcohol was being consumed, but when your spouse is telling you they're not an alcoholic and the marital problems are because of you, then you start looking for proof that alcholism is reality.

This latest progression really has me worried, I can't stop thinking about it.

smacked

You're not crazy, you're not hallucinating. What you assume is going on, likely is. I was never ever ever asked by my husband if I had been using/drinking when I actually wasn't.

kia

my ex used to get up regular in the nite to drink beer 2am 3 am 4 am didnt matter when it was would pass out with the drink then wake up early hours and need more cos of the withdrawl but he would say he was just thirsty daft isnt it what we put up with xxxkia

theuncertainty

Hi, Chelle. (Feels kinda weird to type that - it's what my family calls me. And I've rarely seen any one else use it.) Welcome to SR. I'd echo what Tuffgirl said. XAH did it all the time the last few years DS and I lived with him, but I wouldn't call it sleeping, I'd definitely call it passing out. I hated it. He'd come to and drink more and then stagger back to the bedroom.

Also just want to say: Unless your mom and sister are living with alcoholics as well, they have absolutely no idea what you're going through. Their advice may be well-intentioned, but only you know what living with alcoholism is doing to you and your kids. IMO, the same rules about making a marriage work do not apply when active addiction or alcoholism is a factor.

Hugs.

djayr

Yes, drinking in the middle of the night is common for a full-blown alcoholic who has become physically addicted to alcohol.

AW would wake up shaking for a drink in the morning . . . but if it was 1,2,3 in the morning -- bring on the vodka! Any time is a good time for a swig.

Physical withdrawal for a person like this is unthinkable and frightening, because of the risk of seizure and just basically getting incredibly ill, without a drink.

This kind of heavy use is a sign that it is going on 24/7 -- there will always be a level of alcohol present. The only times my AW was tested, her BAC was 0.35 both times, and one time blew a 0.40+ "hot" -- and she was walking and talking!

Once she reached this state of constant inebriation, whether visible to outsiders or not, the AW was heading for OWI's, getting fired for drinking on the job, drinking at inappropriate times (church, funerals, family gatherings), and all kinds of mayhem.

My wife has NEVER been able to quit on her own from this level of drunkenness; it always required an accident or trip to the emergency room, or straight to detox, for her to quit. Awful.

MissGuided

Oh Chelle!!
We ALL know what you are going through here. You are not alone
Dont let his denial make you 2nd guess what you already know in your heart to be true, it will just prolong the agony

vujade

Insomnia is also a sign of the progression of alcoholism. When people get drunk and "sleep", they aren't sleeping in the energy-regenerating sense of the word. They are passing out. They don't dream. They don't regenerate. When they come to, they are sobering up and feeling withdrawal symptoms that make it impossible to sleep so they drink again to address those physical symptoms and pass out. My XA would keep just enough in the bottle at the end of a night so he could swig out of it when he woke up at 3 am.

onceuponatime2

Since my AH has been in relapse, this is when he does a lot of his drinking. I think it because it is easier to hide his drinking, and he can drink more openly when everyone else is asleep at 3 am. He is currently unemployed due to a job loss due to his addiction so he doesn't have to worry about loss of sleep or getting up early.

When he drinks in the daytime he will go outside pretending he has something to do, and if he is nearly caught when someone goes outside he will bolt away like his butt is on fire. He thinks he is so clever and noone knows what he is doing.

theuncertainty

XAH used to go out 'to work on his car' - or when we had a garage out to the garage to work on the 'motorcycle' (a bunch of parts) - to drink during the day. If I opened the door there'd be a clink and clatter as the bottle was hid. Smoooooooth. Nope, I didn't notice at all that all those months/years of work only resulted in a replaced dome light and a turn signal light, and a suspiciously bottle shaped lumpy oil rag. Nor did I see him stagger and stumble, slur his words, or the half-lidded eyes. Nope. He hid it all soooooo well.

Sadly, I did ignore it for a long time, though.

LexieCat

Yep, VERY common for alcoholics.

I'd wake up with withdrawals around 3 am every day. Thing is, when you drink at that hour there is still booze in your system when you go to work.

And the others here are right--morning drinking is right around the corner, if it isn't there already.

wicked

:rotfxko



My ex didnt even put the crap back on right. Leaning, slurring,
"must be the fuse."
okay buddy, that should take about 5 years!

bwahahahahahaha

oh, uncertainty, this made my day.
thank you.

invisigoth

For me it was, and still is sometimes morning, noon and night. Due in part to my night-shift working backwards lifestyle I suppose.

RollTide

Let's make it four! Perhaps we have a disproportionate number of alcoholics in our fine state.

ANEWAUGUST

I will post, and make it a "fifth" from Alabama here on this thread!

I drank in the middle of the night when I felt my blood alcohol level going down. If I would get up, have a drink, I could go back to sleep for a few hours.

Insanity at its finest.

seekingcalm

When my ex began drinking first thing in the morning, I thought it was on his breath from the night before...who thinks that someone is drinking as soon as they wake up??

What an education I got...No one but someone who has lived with active alcoholism has ANY idea what we have experienced. They cannot possibly understand what this life is like.

Take care of yourself, and do what is good for you. Sending positive thoughts your way.