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overreacting or something I need to address with teen D

Old 02-02-2011, 12:51 PM
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overreacting or something I need to address with teen D

Lately it seems my 17 yr old daughter is mouthing to me phrases she has heard her AH dad say when he was living with us and in the times he has been in contact with me at our house during the separation.

What it comes down to is my daughter has adopted AH attitude that her time is what's important and she has no tolerance for me asking her any question as she looks it as interrupting whatever she is doing (always something and it could be just getting herself something to eat). I am talking simple questions like what are you plans for later today, will you be joining us for dinner?

She is 17 so she has a lot of leeway in planning her own time and she is quite independent due to many reasons, some of which were the indiscretions during the years dealing with A and now out of necessity as I work FT.

What really ticked me off was me jokingly asking about what happened to her fulfilling a bet she lost to me (making applesauce from some apples we had left over, she likes to cook) and she snapped at me that she has no time to do that and it was a silly little bet anyway.

I am not liking her attitude and how she is toward my (very few) boundaries but also may be colored by my hearing her sounding like AH saying something similar when he is in one of his fits.

I spoke with her calmly about it and told her I don't expect her to speak to me the way she is nor to speak to anyone else that way.

She just glares at me or ignores me. It is difficult at times because I know there are some tough situations she is going through with schoolwork and friends and just being 17 but at same time I am concerned that I should be doing something else to guide her better.

Anyone else have some experience with this?
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Old 02-02-2011, 06:51 PM
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I think you can insist that she not speak to you disrespectfully. In my experience, that is likely to be followed by a dramatic eyeroll, stomping off to another room, and slamming the door.

Whatever.

My bet is that it's just the usual 17-year-old surliness. I was Miss Goody-Two-Shoes most of my childhood, but my mom told me (when I was in my late 20s) that if she could have shipped me off somewhere JUST for the year I was 17, she would have jumped at the chance.
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