Blogs


Notices

Men Who Blame Women

Old 02-02-2011, 11:33 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 143
I have learned that if your boyfriend has a civil relationship with his ex that is a good sign. Even better if they are friends, not every day of the week kind of friends but I like it if they talk a couple times a year or if I can meet her. One guy I dated flipped out when his ex showed up and he refused to let me talk to her. When I went and spoke with her directly, she was perfectly nice but from her I learned he was a cheater and that was later supported by others and he eventually cheated on me. If people are eager to paint others as the bad guy or not allow you to speak with people in their past I would call that a red flag.
kilt is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kilt For This Useful Post:
jackien41 (02-02-2011), stella27 (02-02-2011)
Old 02-02-2011, 06:44 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I wasn't attracted to "drama" until my first alcoholic boyfriend (who became husband #1). Sometimes I wonder if I didn't divorce him in part because he DID become so "normal". AH #2, and the last guy I lived with were OOZING drama.

I've heard a lot of people say somewhere along the way their "picker" got broken. I think that's what happened to me. I got a taste of drama and got hooked on it.

I think I've had enough drama. Just like I've had enough booze. I'm appreciating different things in life these days. Maybe one of these days I'll find myself ready to go out and get involved with a drama-less person.
LexieCat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
theuncertainty (02-02-2011)
Old 02-02-2011, 07:01 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by kilt View Post

I know that alcoholics lie to make themselves look good but I never understood that they also lie to make others look bad.

I have always found that women do this more so than men.
noonereal is offline  
Old 02-02-2011, 07:32 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babyblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
The words 'responsibility' and 'alcoholic' don't really go together. So I'd never get so frustrated or surprised that an alcoholic lies for any reason.

Sounds like he was more of an avoider than a pathological liar but there are lots of sober people that tell all kinds of 'white lies' to get out of situations they don't want to be in, and they do this their entire adult life. And it isn't gender specific.

Maybe thats just who he is, a weasel!
Babyblue is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Babyblue For This Useful Post:
stella27 (02-02-2011)
Old 02-02-2011, 08:26 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 143
I think "weasel" is more appropriate. It would not have cost him anything to be honest. Things he lied about ranged from major things to very minor things. He did not have an alcoholic as a mother but his dad was a drunk. Someone mentioned that my ex was passive aggressive and that they lying was a control thing.

It doesn't matter now. Knowing the truth sets me free to stop making excuses for him and seeing him for the sack he really is.
kilt is offline  
Old 02-02-2011, 08:42 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Blog Entries: 5
Someone mentioned that my ex was passive aggressive and that they lying was a control thing.
It's weird how growing up in an alcoholic family, and being alcoholic, controls the way we relate to others. Blame, guilt, finger-pointing, judging are all used to preserve the drinking and allow it to continue. It's like alcoholism is anti-society. It keeps others from influencing the person to not drink. Sick.
Learn2Live is offline  
Old 02-02-2011, 10:23 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
i should have known when he had no idea who monet was.
Well, I should have known when he said "excetera"
lillamy is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
kilt (02-05-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:15 AM.