kilt

I have learned that if your boyfriend has a civil relationship with his ex that is a good sign. Even better if they are friends, not every day of the week kind of friends but I like it if they talk a couple times a year or if I can meet her. One guy I dated flipped out when his ex showed up and he refused to let me talk to her. When I went and spoke with her directly, she was perfectly nice but from her I learned he was a cheater and that was later supported by others and he eventually cheated on me. If people are eager to paint others as the bad guy or not allow you to speak with people in their past I would call that a red flag.

LexieCat

I wasn't attracted to "drama" until my first alcoholic boyfriend (who became husband #1). Sometimes I wonder if I didn't divorce him in part because he DID become so "normal". AH #2, and the last guy I lived with were OOZING drama.

I've heard a lot of people say somewhere along the way their "picker" got broken. I think that's what happened to me. I got a taste of drama and got hooked on it.

I think I've had enough drama. Just like I've had enough booze. I'm appreciating different things in life these days. Maybe one of these days I'll find myself ready to go out and get involved with a drama-less person.

noonereal

I have always found that women do this more so than men.

Babyblue

The words 'responsibility' and 'alcoholic' don't really go together. So I'd never get so frustrated or surprised that an alcoholic lies for any reason.

Sounds like he was more of an avoider than a pathological liar but there are lots of sober people that tell all kinds of 'white lies' to get out of situations they don't want to be in, and they do this their entire adult life. And it isn't gender specific.

Maybe thats just who he is, a weasel!

kilt

I think "weasel" is more appropriate. It would not have cost him anything to be honest. Things he lied about ranged from major things to very minor things. He did not have an alcoholic as a mother but his dad was a drunk. Someone mentioned that my ex was passive aggressive and that they lying was a control thing.

It doesn't matter now. Knowing the truth sets me free to stop making excuses for him and seeing him for the sack he really is.

Learn2Live

It's weird how growing up in an alcoholic family, and being alcoholic, controls the way we relate to others. Blame, guilt, finger-pointing, judging are all used to preserve the drinking and allow it to continue. It's like alcoholism is anti-society. It keeps others from influencing the person to not drink. Sick.

lillamy

Well, I should have known when he said "excetera"