Impurrfect

(((jrlcpl))) she's being forced to deal with her consequences and she doesn't like it. She's going to put the blame on you, make promises, do whatever she thinks she can to NOT deal with the consequences.

I know this because not only am I a recovering codie, I'm an RA. I doubt, seriously, I would be clean if the consequences hadn't been bad and my family allowed me to deal with them.

You're not doing anything wrong. You're protecting yourself and your children from the insanity. I know it doesn't feel good, but it's truly the best for all 4 of you, IMO.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

coyote21

She is trying to make me feel like a terrible person for doing what I am doing.

Too bad about her. You are NOT responsible for her feelings. If you start to buy any of that BS, come check in here, O.K.?

Lots of strong Dads on this board, that's very good.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Strucken

Wow I can totally relate to your fears....Im seeking legal advice and trying to get my 2 babies now. All I can say is all of us dads get the brunt end of the legal system...The damn mother could snort coke off our kids back while sleeping with a stranger and keep kids. We spank them one time for acting up will never see them again....Sorry but so true!

Good luck!

jrlcpl

Well I am at the beginning of this new chapter in my life and I will post updates. I really believe at the end of the day the judge will want what is best for the children. I think the key is laying out your case that your spouse is an alcoholic and at this point in their lives they are unfit to be a parent. Luckily I have a lot of documentation because my STBXAW has been to so many treatment centers. I also have video of when I came home for work and she was drunk and passed out with our 2 kids. I specifically asked my lawyer if he has dealt with men in this situation and he basically said when alcohol/drugs are involved gender does not matter. It's what is best for the kids. I can provide a safe, stable environment whereas my spouse cannot. End of story. But like I said I will post updates because I know there are many in similar situations and it helped me to read their stories. I will try and do my part to continue sharing mine.

stella27

Not true, Strucken. It would be worth talking to a lawyer to determine how you can best go about protecting your children rather than relying on anecdotes. The courts very often do the right thing. No one ever talks about that.