OT - Reality Check Needed
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Location: London, UK
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Originally Posted by theuncertainty 
Tallulah, that made me laugh, "spitballing". Yes, XAH is living with her. A home her parents own, she's paying his bills, bought him another car, paid his half of DS's uncovered medical expenses, which worked out well for me. Actually made him go get a drivers license last Thursday and literally shoved the proof in my face tonight when we picked up DS. It will be interesting to see that one blow up, because he'll either be on her insurance or not have any. Because he feels he doesn't need any. It doesn't matter that it's a state law....
Thanks, StarCat. Again, I thought I was being too...., I guess imagining the tone.
Thanks, StarCat. Again, I thought I was being too...., I guess imagining the tone.
She has become his mother!
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Thumper's List rocks.
I really, really, really like to keep it clean. I think of all my emails as admissible evidence in my next custody hearing and I want the court to be able to see the issues clearly. Too many details, too much lecturing, too many assertions of "our love" and "we are a team" make one sound stupid. So who sounds stupid here?
True story:
My AXH was in mental hospital for a bipolar-type breakdown. Got out of hospital and started supervised visitation with kids. Accused me of being inflexible when he and his mother were seeing them approximately 4 days a week. Every time they called, I jumped and let them see kids.
They had NO regard for my schedule, my obligations or the demands of running a house with 3 little kids. They would just drop by and get the kids all worked up about a movie or bowling or pizza. The one time I said "that doesn't work for me", they both said "you are soooo inflexible".
My mom told me "they won't be happy with you no matter what you do, so you might as well do what works for YOU."
Now why did someone have to tell me that? You would think I would be smart enough to know it on my own.
I really, really, really like to keep it clean. I think of all my emails as admissible evidence in my next custody hearing and I want the court to be able to see the issues clearly. Too many details, too much lecturing, too many assertions of "our love" and "we are a team" make one sound stupid. So who sounds stupid here?
True story:
My AXH was in mental hospital for a bipolar-type breakdown. Got out of hospital and started supervised visitation with kids. Accused me of being inflexible when he and his mother were seeing them approximately 4 days a week. Every time they called, I jumped and let them see kids.
They had NO regard for my schedule, my obligations or the demands of running a house with 3 little kids. They would just drop by and get the kids all worked up about a movie or bowling or pizza. The one time I said "that doesn't work for me", they both said "you are soooo inflexible".
My mom told me "they won't be happy with you no matter what you do, so you might as well do what works for YOU."
Now why did someone have to tell me that? You would think I would be smart enough to know it on my own.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
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IDK... not that you asked me for my opinion about it but I get the feeling that if you stopped acknowledging her as the other parent (which she is not) and dealt only with him (following the directions of the court order) that would go a long way toward solving the problem. You have full custody of DS and XH has visitation rights, yes? Well, IMO that means you can schedule whatever vacation you want to schedule with DS and don't need to ask for permission from them. YOU are DS's primary caregiver and YOU decide what happens. What are they going to do if you plan a vacation, file a complaint for contempt of court? Please.
Earlier, I talked about how I always did things for the kids in the relationships I was in, but never ANYTHING like what she is doing. I helped out picking up and dropping off the kids, etc but would never have accused anyone or tried to control anyone like she appears to be doing. It seems you got divorced from the AH but now you have TWO people controlling and manipulating you. I know it is hell on you simply for the fact that twice you have said that sometimes you think giving THEM full custody would be easier than having to deal with them on this stuff. THAT is a clear indication, Uncertainty, that something needs to change. Please look within for how you are feeling when dealing with them and look for what you may be trying to control by continuing to participate in this very weird dance with them.
(((hugs))) Love ya'
Earlier, I talked about how I always did things for the kids in the relationships I was in, but never ANYTHING like what she is doing. I helped out picking up and dropping off the kids, etc but would never have accused anyone or tried to control anyone like she appears to be doing. It seems you got divorced from the AH but now you have TWO people controlling and manipulating you. I know it is hell on you simply for the fact that twice you have said that sometimes you think giving THEM full custody would be easier than having to deal with them on this stuff. THAT is a clear indication, Uncertainty, that something needs to change. Please look within for how you are feeling when dealing with them and look for what you may be trying to control by continuing to participate in this very weird dance with them.
(((hugs))) Love ya'
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sweetheart, you bent over backwards to try and accommodate them and keep ds safe within the terms of the agreement. No good deed goes unpunished.
This woman is not your friend, she may come off as more reasonable than him (it'd be hard not to), but she knows what you said at the court case and she stays with him.
from now on, as others have said, just say "no". stick to the arrangement, they'll get fed up of never having a weekend to themselves eventually and at that point you could renegotiate terms to include a 2 week holiday for you and ds, it's a bit wierd that isn't written in somewhere, it would be standard here, everyone is allowed a holiday.
five/six day camping trips can be fab. in fact two weeks with someone driving ds back and letting him have dinner with dad and then coming back again in-between isn't impossible. You can pick up all the stuff you forgot to pack and get a load of washing done at home
This woman is not your friend, she may come off as more reasonable than him (it'd be hard not to), but she knows what you said at the court case and she stays with him.
from now on, as others have said, just say "no". stick to the arrangement, they'll get fed up of never having a weekend to themselves eventually and at that point you could renegotiate terms to include a 2 week holiday for you and ds, it's a bit wierd that isn't written in somewhere, it would be standard here, everyone is allowed a holiday.
five/six day camping trips can be fab. in fact two weeks with someone driving ds back and letting him have dinner with dad and then coming back again in-between isn't impossible. You can pick up all the stuff you forgot to pack and get a load of washing done at home
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Originally Posted by stella27
My mom told me "they won't be happy with you no matter what you do, so you might as well do what works for YOU."
Now why did someone have to tell me that? You would think I would be smart enough to know it on my own.
Now why did someone have to tell me that? You would think I would be smart enough to know it on my own.
And thanks for the perspective of typing as if it'll be evidence for the next custody hearing, which it probably will be.This whole marriage/divorce/XAH's GF thing has left me feeling really stupid. I have to remind myself often that I am smart, just currently dealing with cr-p. I just have to remember who I was before XAH.
Just Say No. Just Say No. Just Say No.
Please look within for how you are feeling when dealing with them and look for what you may be trying to control by continuing to participate in this very weird dance with them.
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So, updating a bit and venting a bit.
I logged into my e-mail account (the one that I am now reserving for XAH and his family) to forward information from DS's parent teacher conference this morning (Of course he did not attend, even though he appears to be home - will explain in a bit).
Sitting there was an e-mail from GF under XAH's account and 'signed by him' again, responding to my e-mail about the snowboarding telling me that my explanation was not necessary. DS was very clear about what was said and "I believe my son." X
I am not responding; I'm following Thumper's guidelines (yay, me!). The email is printed and saved for the custody/visitation file along with their other ones. I do have to admit, though, that I responded to her e-mail about them being able to pick up DS from school. I sent it to XAH instead of GF and simply said "XAH, no. I cannot make the schedule change GF is proposing. TheUncertainty" That is printed for the file, too.
DS's parent teacher conference was this morning at 9 am; I had e-mailed the info to XAH right after it was scheduled. He did not attend. DS's teacher commented that she has never seen XAH. Any way, I received a text from him this morning "Doing good just found the phone darn air hockey so love u im home" I'm pretty certain he's not telling me he loves me. BTW, my name and GF's name are no where remotely close nor are our phone numbers. What a stupid a-hole.
I logged into my e-mail account (the one that I am now reserving for XAH and his family) to forward information from DS's parent teacher conference this morning (Of course he did not attend, even though he appears to be home - will explain in a bit).
Sitting there was an e-mail from GF under XAH's account and 'signed by him' again, responding to my e-mail about the snowboarding telling me that my explanation was not necessary. DS was very clear about what was said and "I believe my son." X
I am not responding; I'm following Thumper's guidelines (yay, me!). The email is printed and saved for the custody/visitation file along with their other ones. I do have to admit, though, that I responded to her e-mail about them being able to pick up DS from school. I sent it to XAH instead of GF and simply said "XAH, no. I cannot make the schedule change GF is proposing. TheUncertainty" That is printed for the file, too.
DS's parent teacher conference was this morning at 9 am; I had e-mailed the info to XAH right after it was scheduled. He did not attend. DS's teacher commented that she has never seen XAH. Any way, I received a text from him this morning "Doing good just found the phone darn air hockey so love u im home" I'm pretty certain he's not telling me he loves me. BTW, my name and GF's name are no where remotely close nor are our phone numbers. What a stupid a-hole.
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XAH, no. I cannot make the schedule change GF is proposing. TheUncertainty
as for emailing him the parent/teacher status, why bother? if he cared or was interested, he could have attended himself. i would feel under no obligation to update him on this since he didn't bother to attend.
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Originally Posted by tjp613
I'm with Naive. I give copies of report cards. Beyond that I don't update unless it's asked for (and it's NEVER asked for). Those are the natural consequences of his choices.
no more unnecessary communication. you'll be astounded how much it helps you get yourself straight and you will deal better with these a$$hats.
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We all come at this from our own personal circumstances.
My xah has never been abusive to the boys. Neglectful and abandoning yes but not abusive so I do not fear a relationship between them and that makes a difference.
I choose to send him copies of report cards, and email him updates on certain issues (conferences, medical stuff, activities). I don't ask questions, I keep it very fact based.
My reasons. We have joint legal custody. I don't want to rock the boat in this area. If he knows what is going on he is less likely to create havoc about decisions that need to be made, that I currently make on my own. I think it also talks about it in the visitation order which is ambiguous. Xah has never looked at that but like is shown here, if he gets a girlfriend all bets are off. Things might really blow up then so I try and keep good records etc.
If he neglects or abandons his boys there is nothing I can do about that but I can do my part to maintain the base for a relationship now or in the future. I feel better doing then not doing it and that is probably the bottom line.
I'm not convinced I'm doing the right thing. An email every couple months, or every month, is no skin off my nose so I do it but I sure see the side that says to just forget it unless he asks too. There is something to be said for that as well.
My xah has never been abusive to the boys. Neglectful and abandoning yes but not abusive so I do not fear a relationship between them and that makes a difference.
I choose to send him copies of report cards, and email him updates on certain issues (conferences, medical stuff, activities). I don't ask questions, I keep it very fact based.
My reasons. We have joint legal custody. I don't want to rock the boat in this area. If he knows what is going on he is less likely to create havoc about decisions that need to be made, that I currently make on my own. I think it also talks about it in the visitation order which is ambiguous. Xah has never looked at that but like is shown here, if he gets a girlfriend all bets are off. Things might really blow up then so I try and keep good records etc.
If he neglects or abandons his boys there is nothing I can do about that but I can do my part to maintain the base for a relationship now or in the future. I feel better doing then not doing it and that is probably the bottom line.
I'm not convinced I'm doing the right thing. An email every couple months, or every month, is no skin off my nose so I do it but I sure see the side that says to just forget it unless he asks too. There is something to be said for that as well.
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Yup, I kinda agree with naive. It's HIS responsibility to be a parent too. That means taking an interest and asking. If he doesn't ask, then he won't know and that's on him.
He's perfectly capable of asking (and if he isn't, he seems to have someone* who is voiceferous who doesn't mind sticking her beak in on his behalf).
*Ok, that sounded kinda mean..didn't mean it to come off like that, but speaking as I find :-/
Tx
He's perfectly capable of asking (and if he isn't, he seems to have someone* who is voiceferous who doesn't mind sticking her beak in on his behalf).
*Ok, that sounded kinda mean..didn't mean it to come off like that, but speaking as I find :-/
Tx
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Thumper, is your kids' dad in treatment somewhere? Mine is living in the community, doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He sees the kids twice a week and every other weekend. He acts like he is Mr. Involved, but doesn't show up for the routinem, ordinary parenting things even though the school sends him emails and notifies him.
I figure it's not my job to direct his parenting, and he and the kids can have whatever kind of relationship he and they want to have.
About 4 months ago, my oldest and best-behaved (budding co-dependent, pleaser) child was getting trouble in school. I emailed his dad and asked him to address the discipline issues, but never got a response from him. I just kind of gave up.
I figure it's not my job to direct his parenting, and he and the kids can have whatever kind of relationship he and they want to have.
About 4 months ago, my oldest and best-behaved (budding co-dependent, pleaser) child was getting trouble in school. I emailed his dad and asked him to address the discipline issues, but never got a response from him. I just kind of gave up.
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I send term dates, school event dates, copies of report cards, a run-down of what happened in the parent-teacher conference etc, because here in the UK as parent with care I am legally obliged to do so. Its a stoopid grey area: I am legally obliged to do so because he doesn't contact the school himself, if he did, the school would be legally obliged to give him the info as well as me and my obligation would end - but it only ends if he contacts the school himself (great). If it came to court one judge may say "get off your ass and contact the darn school yerself you poor-excuse-for-a-father" and another may say "pass on the school reports you father-alienating-harriden". So I email the damn things.
(I copy his parents in too so that they get info on the kids and when holidays may be arranged).
There are times when it's best to check what your legal obligations are when it comes to co-parenting in your country/state, because sound SR advice that would apply in any other situation and is entirely sensible can sometimes not apply in child-custody situations.
(I copy his parents in too so that they get info on the kids and when holidays may be arranged).
There are times when it's best to check what your legal obligations are when it comes to co-parenting in your country/state, because sound SR advice that would apply in any other situation and is entirely sensible can sometimes not apply in child-custody situations.
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Originally Posted by stella27
Thumper, is your kids' dad in treatment somewhere? Mine is living in the community, doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He sees the kids twice a week and every other weekend. He acts like he is Mr. Involved, but doesn't show up for the routinem, ordinary parenting things even though the school sends him emails and notifies him.
Now that he is in treatment I have agreed to send him an update on their more mundane activities. This is so that their phone calls can have more substance since my boys just don't say anything on the phone and he runs out of things to ask about. His counselors are helping him with dealing with the calls and the depression after the calls (and after visits if that time comes). If he relapses, or does not keep up on regular contact (by phone or visit) I will stop doing that.
I give him the info and that is it. I feel that is my responsibility since he does not live with them and the kids themselves are not reliable to share appropriate info. I used to stress a lot about how much I should do to direct their relationship but I have let all that go because I agree with you that he is in charge of their relationship. I do my part by giving information and then I stop. That wasn't easy at first. I did a lot to try and direct his parenting and it was driving me mad so letting that go was good for me.
Originally Posted by JenT1968
There are times when it's best to check what your legal obligations are when it comes to co-parenting in your country/state, because sound SR advice that would apply in any other situation and is entirely sensible can sometimes not apply in child-custody situations.
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Honestly, the school stuff is the easiest to send to him. I definitely do not get emotionally tied up in the exchange, because there isn't one. It's just a quick: "Here's the report from DS's school." "Here's the latest newsletter." The school report info is not written into the agreement, but my lawyer agreed that forwarding everything to him would be best, send some of DS's artwork over with him, too, all of which I'd been doing any way.
XAH could really give a rats a-- about it. He told me to just put DS in public school (so he wouldn't have to pay the tuition - which he doesn't any way). He hated school and I was 'stupid' for going to college (for paying for it) - regardless of the fact that I got a merit based scholarship that paid nearly every thing. (I rocked and Math was so much fun! - Yeah, you heard me. Math was fun I especially liked Number Theory. I can barely remember how to add now, but maybe it'll come back now that I'm not dumbing myself down for him....) Anyway, I'm fairly certain he doesn't read the school info, because the last report from DS's preschool year included information about difficulties arising from inconsistencies in seeing his father. If he'd read it, I would have heard about that for sure. (How DARE I tell the school that he never shows up to pick up DS from school after telling DS he would?!)
Involved. Nope, not really. He has yet to attend any school function except the one his sister literally dragged him to. DS's teacher said hi and tried to talk him about DS and the school and he turned his back on her and walked away. He sat in the audience for the ceremony and I swear his eyeballs should have been stuck looking into the back of his head by how much he rolled his eyes. WTF.
I tried to give him a CD with copies of all the photos we'd taken of DS and he threw it back at me yelling that he didn't have a computer. Ummm, yes he does; it's just at his sister's house and his GF has one too. And you can always go to the store to have them print the photos. Whatever. One preschool year, I'd tried to give him a large photo and wallet of DS's school picture and again, he refused it saying he had no where to put them (he was couch surfing at drinking buddies' homes).
I think he loves DS in his way. He just does not know how to show it. He just doesn't know how to unravel all of his cr-p to get to a point where others make any difference to him beyond shelter, food, cable and alcohol, not necessarily in that order. Nor does he understand how to be anything but a big brother type, IMO. It's not really what DS needs for a father, but it's what he's got. And, again IMO, it's also a huge manipulation chip in his relationship with me and with his GF. (And, Lillamy, you're right, he found a beaut - and he's found out how to set his hooks in but quick.) And I hope to god, his love for DS is not the same as the way he 'loved' me, but IDK. I hope the way he treated a 1-3 yo is not the same as how he treats a 6 yo, but I'm not there to see it anymore.
We were actually talking about the father roles in DV group last night and the problems related to in essense being a single parent - to being both Mom and Dad. And how that changes the dynamic of the parent/child relationship. It was interesting to say the least.
XAH could really give a rats a-- about it. He told me to just put DS in public school (so he wouldn't have to pay the tuition - which he doesn't any way). He hated school and I was 'stupid' for going to college (for paying for it) - regardless of the fact that I got a merit based scholarship that paid nearly every thing. (I rocked and Math was so much fun! - Yeah, you heard me. Math was fun
I especially liked Number Theory. I can barely remember how to add now, but maybe it'll come back now that I'm not dumbing myself down for him....) Anyway, I'm fairly certain he doesn't read the school info, because the last report from DS's preschool year included information about difficulties arising from inconsistencies in seeing his father. If he'd read it, I would have heard about that for sure. (How DARE I tell the school that he never shows up to pick up DS from school after telling DS he would?!)Involved. Nope, not really. He has yet to attend any school function except the one his sister literally dragged him to. DS's teacher said hi and tried to talk him about DS and the school and he turned his back on her and walked away. He sat in the audience for the ceremony and I swear his eyeballs should have been stuck looking into the back of his head by how much he rolled his eyes. WTF.
I tried to give him a CD with copies of all the photos we'd taken of DS and he threw it back at me yelling that he didn't have a computer. Ummm, yes he does; it's just at his sister's house and his GF has one too. And you can always go to the store to have them print the photos. Whatever. One preschool year, I'd tried to give him a large photo and wallet of DS's school picture and again, he refused it saying he had no where to put them (he was couch surfing at drinking buddies' homes).
I think he loves DS in his way. He just does not know how to show it. He just doesn't know how to unravel all of his cr-p to get to a point where others make any difference to him beyond shelter, food, cable and alcohol, not necessarily in that order. Nor does he understand how to be anything but a big brother type, IMO. It's not really what DS needs for a father, but it's what he's got. And, again IMO, it's also a huge manipulation chip in his relationship with me and with his GF. (And, Lillamy, you're right, he found a beaut - and he's found out how to set his hooks in but quick.) And I hope to god, his love for DS is not the same as the way he 'loved' me, but IDK. I hope the way he treated a 1-3 yo is not the same as how he treats a 6 yo, but I'm not there to see it anymore.
We were actually talking about the father roles in DV group last night and the problems related to in essense being a single parent - to being both Mom and Dad. And how that changes the dynamic of the parent/child relationship. It was interesting to say the least.
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Thumper, if my xh were in treatment and depressed over his treatment of the kids, I would absolutely keep him informed. I see why you handle things that way. Recently I tried to arrange MORE time for dd with her dad, and he resented it because it means less time with his favorite child, and my psychologist said "stop trying to mediate their relationship" and that made a lot of sense to me. But if I were in your position, I would do exactly what you are.
uncertainty:
how about a box for xh and you can put all of ds's reports, photos, drawings in it and your child can take it when he goes over. Or if that has the potential to hurt your son's feelings (if he'd reject those things from the child), just put them aside and let him know by email that you have things for him whenever he wants to have them, to let you know.
and THIS! brilliant! that your math skills may be coming back.
Y'all have no idea how much smarter I am without XH around. I am suddenly creative in ways I never knew. A big part of me has been freed. It is the wildest phenomenon.
uncertainty:
how about a box for xh and you can put all of ds's reports, photos, drawings in it and your child can take it when he goes over. Or if that has the potential to hurt your son's feelings (if he'd reject those things from the child), just put them aside and let him know by email that you have things for him whenever he wants to have them, to let you know.
and THIS! brilliant! that your math skills may be coming back.
Y'all have no idea how much smarter I am without XH around. I am suddenly creative in ways I never knew. A big part of me has been freed. It is the wildest phenomenon.
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Sounds like you are doing well uncertainty even if it feels crazy at times. It is hard when the other parent is so lame.
I'll have to do some reading on the dynamic you mentioned.
Stella, xah's counselor explained it that it isn't so much that he is depressed because of his treatment of the kids (I think he's way to self absorbed for that) but after seeing kids he is overwhelmed with feelings related to no longer having a united family and living with his kids so he may avoid the kids in order to avoid that after visit plummet that he doesn't know how to cope with. I guess it makes sense but I'm on the kids side of the fence so I don't really care. That sounds cold I know. Anyway - he is supposed to schedule a phone call which he only did once, although he did call the following weekend. I expect he'll be back in the area in a few weeks and to be honest - I'm not very optimistic about him suddenly becoming Mr. Reliable. It has been easier with him out of state because I don't have to deal with the kids' behavior surrounding the going back and forth and not knowing what to expect.
I'll have to do some reading on the dynamic you mentioned.
Stella, xah's counselor explained it that it isn't so much that he is depressed because of his treatment of the kids (I think he's way to self absorbed for that) but after seeing kids he is overwhelmed with feelings related to no longer having a united family and living with his kids so he may avoid the kids in order to avoid that after visit plummet that he doesn't know how to cope with. I guess it makes sense but I'm on the kids side of the fence so I don't really care. That sounds cold I know. Anyway - he is supposed to schedule a phone call which he only did once, although he did call the following weekend. I expect he'll be back in the area in a few weeks and to be honest - I'm not very optimistic about him suddenly becoming Mr. Reliable. It has been easier with him out of state because I don't have to deal with the kids' behavior surrounding the going back and forth and not knowing what to expect.
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Thanks for the box idea, Stella. If XAH's GF ever drops out of the picture, I will try to remember that. GF has never refused a piece of DS's artwork or his photo this year, so, since she's the only one that picks up DS for now....
Reports, etc., it's just much easier to scan those and send them by e-mail. Plus it has the added benefit that I have proof I sent them. He (or GF) can't say I didn't keep them informed if I can show I sent it to his e-mail address.
Thumper, it definitely wasn't the planned topic; I don't have any readings to share, it was pretty much discussion of issues several of us were facing regarding the fathers of our children... (But now that you mention it, I will look into it further, too.) The discussion kind of evolved to the genetic (not sure that's the right word) roles women are 'meant' to take "Nurturer" vs. men "Disciplinarian." Whether being a single mom changes us from being a nurturer. Personally, I feel that neither role is really confined to one sex or the other. Both are just as important to raising children, and both should come from a place of love and desire to help the child learn. And nurturing necessarily requires some sort of limit setting. Just because DS's dad acts like an a--hat (I love that word - and jackslap) doesn't mean that DS is completely out of luck. Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but I don't think so.
I'm a bit of a self-help book junkie right now, but I've just started reading "The Courage to Raise Good Men" -- Honestly, I'm probably procrastinating on the others I had started and have to stop that.
I seriously think that if I hadn't been diagnosed with PTSD already, I'd be afraid I was bipolar or manic depressive or ????. After years of feeling nothing, or fear/anger, this past year has been one huge rollercoaster of nose-bleed-highs and black-pit-lows. I'm kind of UP today.
Reports, etc., it's just much easier to scan those and send them by e-mail. Plus it has the added benefit that I have proof I sent them. He (or GF) can't say I didn't keep them informed if I can show I sent it to his e-mail address.
Thumper, it definitely wasn't the planned topic; I don't have any readings to share, it was pretty much discussion of issues several of us were facing regarding the fathers of our children... (But now that you mention it, I will look into it further, too.) The discussion kind of evolved to the genetic (not sure that's the right word) roles women are 'meant' to take "Nurturer" vs. men "Disciplinarian." Whether being a single mom changes us from being a nurturer. Personally, I feel that neither role is really confined to one sex or the other. Both are just as important to raising children, and both should come from a place of love and desire to help the child learn. And nurturing necessarily requires some sort of limit setting. Just because DS's dad acts like an a--hat (I love that word - and jackslap) doesn't mean that DS is completely out of luck. Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but I don't think so.
I'm a bit of a self-help book junkie right now, but I've just started reading "The Courage to Raise Good Men" -- Honestly, I'm probably procrastinating on the others I had started and have to stop that.
I seriously think that if I hadn't been diagnosed with PTSD already, I'd be afraid I was bipolar or manic depressive or ????. After years of feeling nothing, or fear/anger, this past year has been one huge rollercoaster of nose-bleed-highs and black-pit-lows. I'm kind of UP today.
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