Boom
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Boom
We tease my BIL because he likes to do things with minimal fuss. So he says, I crossed that off my list. Boom. I called the plumber. Boom. I ordered take-out for dinner. Boom.
Some people are lucky enough to have the same kind of approach to relationships. My mother realized that her children were suffering because her husband (my dad) was a drunk. She divorced him--in the early 60s when divorce was risky financially, and morally unacceptable. Boom.
She divorced my stepfather when he fell off the wagon and life got chaotic again. Boom.
My MILs brother lived with her, until he started doing drugs and she noticed stuff was missing from her house. She changed the locks on her doors and her phone number and kicked him out. Boom.
I, on the other hand am like the dying embers--no boom, just a sizzle of over-analyzing.
As I have posted, I'm still up for a rental home in order to leave my AH of 33 years. In fact, I noticed that he might be planning a Florida extravaganza for our 34th anniversary at the end of this week.
I don't want that to throw me off course. I need to follow my gut and just get this done. Boom.
So, I've scrounged for some spiritual back-up. I tend to be of the "love can conquer all" mentality which is not helpful with an alcoholic, self-destructive person.
Here's what I found in a great book if you're Christian: Living with Contradiction by Esther de Waal:
And here's another from Gina Lake, who is of the ilk of Ekhart Tolle:
This is helpful to me, so I thought I'd share. Boom.
Some people are lucky enough to have the same kind of approach to relationships. My mother realized that her children were suffering because her husband (my dad) was a drunk. She divorced him--in the early 60s when divorce was risky financially, and morally unacceptable. Boom.
She divorced my stepfather when he fell off the wagon and life got chaotic again. Boom.
My MILs brother lived with her, until he started doing drugs and she noticed stuff was missing from her house. She changed the locks on her doors and her phone number and kicked him out. Boom.
I, on the other hand am like the dying embers--no boom, just a sizzle of over-analyzing.
As I have posted, I'm still up for a rental home in order to leave my AH of 33 years. In fact, I noticed that he might be planning a Florida extravaganza for our 34th anniversary at the end of this week.
I don't want that to throw me off course. I need to follow my gut and just get this done. Boom.
So, I've scrounged for some spiritual back-up. I tend to be of the "love can conquer all" mentality which is not helpful with an alcoholic, self-destructive person.
Here's what I found in a great book if you're Christian: Living with Contradiction by Esther de Waal:
"..It may mean allowing someone to make their own mistakes and being prepared to stand back and wait, however difficult and painful that in fact may be. Yet it may be the necessary price of healing.
"For we are shown the costliness of healing love when things have gone wrong and the good shepherd goes in search of the sheep. He begins gently with the oil of encouragement, but he may have to go on to the cauterizing iron, and finally it may be that he has to apply the knife of amputation. It is no good shrinking from this. For there is a very real danger that we may be in danger of protecting the other person from themselves, not to face them with any honesty about what they are doing both to themselves and to other people."
"For we are shown the costliness of healing love when things have gone wrong and the good shepherd goes in search of the sheep. He begins gently with the oil of encouragement, but he may have to go on to the cauterizing iron, and finally it may be that he has to apply the knife of amputation. It is no good shrinking from this. For there is a very real danger that we may be in danger of protecting the other person from themselves, not to face them with any honesty about what they are doing both to themselves and to other people."
"You are not obligated to 'go down with the ship' or to stand by and watch your partner self-destruct...sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for a person. It brings that person face-to-face with the consequences of his or her negative actions. It's not useful to you to be a martyr, and martyrdom isn't useful to your partner either."
Don't let anything stop you from doing what YOU want to do anymore!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Well, my BOOM when I left probably registered with seismic equipment in all know universes. 
I think I'm learning to be more of a BOOM! person. To contemplate, make a decision, and be done with it. I think it's a good thing.
I think I'm learning to be more of a BOOM! person. To contemplate, make a decision, and be done with it. I think it's a good thing.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I almost fell out of the chair when I saw this thread title.
I'min the Liberal Studies Club at school
and the girl who's the president
ALWAYS says 'BOOM' .. at everything.
It cracks me up
bwecause it reminds me of the 'Blades of Glory" movie
and the way the character Will Ferrel plays
always says 'boom' but is just like
a thousandth off in his timing.
Something about that just ... cracks me up.
Little else about the film did,
other than the actors commentaries
in the 'special features' part of the movie.
It's actually funnier than the film.
"BOOM!"
I thought only folks at Montana Tech
and even then only LIberal Studies people
were saying that!!
I'min the Liberal Studies Club at school
and the girl who's the president
ALWAYS says 'BOOM' .. at everything.
It cracks me up
bwecause it reminds me of the 'Blades of Glory" movie
and the way the character Will Ferrel plays
always says 'boom' but is just like
a thousandth off in his timing.
Something about that just ... cracks me up.
Little else about the film did,
other than the actors commentaries
in the 'special features' part of the movie.
It's actually funnier than the film.
"BOOM!"
I thought only folks at Montana Tech
and even then only LIberal Studies people
were saying that!!
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